I like to have fun, go clubbing and live luxuriously. I always used to think that I was still young and still had lots of time to have fun and catch up on whatever I needed to do “later”.
When I first encountered the Protector, I prayed only for wealth and fame, hoping that I would get everything I wanted just by praying and making offerings to him. I thought that since he is a Protector, he is supposed to grant all our wishes!
Things became better at the beginning in terms of finance, work and family. But a few weeks later, I was asked to move out from the place I was staying in. I was so angry and felt depressed. I questioned why this was happening to me. I asked why this Protector was not answering my prayers or “doing his job” since I had been praying to him. I didn’t realize then that it was all due to my own karma.
Luckily, I did not stop my practice. One day, my Guru gave a teaching on the Protector. He spoke about the Protector’s qualities and explained clearly to us the reasons for relying upon a Protector. I realized what I had been praying for was so small when in fact the Protector can help us to gain something much bigger: enlightenment.
In Dorje Shugden’s prayers, the main focus is always to practice the teachings of Lama Je Tsongkhapa. Every part of his prayer is a reminder for me to get rid of my bad qualities with confessions (knowing the misdeeds we have done), offering (developing a generous mind), praises (to counter jealousy) etc.
Slowly but steadily, I feel my life improving, as I become more generous, accept karma and praise others’ good qualities. Looking back now, I realize that the Protector manifested a “bad” situation for me as a lesson to learn, understand the Dharma and to be close to my Guru.
~ Kelly ~
English
Indonesia
Tibetan
SabrinaS
October 22, 2016
Thank you for sharing your story and your experiences with us Kelly. I agree with you that usually we will start our prayers to Protector Dorje Shugden with the fulfilment of our personal gain. However as we go deeper into his practice, we realise that he offered the ultimate, the promise to create the right conditions for our practice until we reach enlightenment. Thinking back, it was so foolish to have had prayed for the little “stuff” when we could have the “Eureka” moment. May you always be in the protection of the enlightened Dorje Shugden and may the illogical ban on his practice by the CTA be swiftly lifted to benefit so many more misguided people.
Sierra
January 30, 2017
You must have better karma than you thought as you did not go astray even after not getting your ‘wishes’ answered. Sometimes, those with lesser karma and merits lose heart and faith and slowly drift away. That’s why it is so tough. You have to be able to see what is happening and be able to accept and overcome the problems and continue with the practice. That is not even to mention the emotional turmoil that accompanies this problems.
Thank you for sharing and rejoice for you being able to see, accept and overcome your obstacles.