Most times we go through life oblivious of where we are, why we are here or what we are doing. Our purpose to live becomes a mundane cycle of waking up, work and sleeping.
That very fiber of my existence was shaken to the core a while back. I discovered Tibetan Buddhism! Looking back, I would say I have been spiritual from a young age. Hard not to be, being born in a staunch Roman Catholic family where religion was something we were told to follow. Something had to stick. It was not the religion per se but my mother’s way of instilling some form of spiritually she only knew how!
The reason I say that is because, since childhood, because I was brow beaten into believing in something beyond myself, in a higher existence to an extent, spirituality was something that had a particular meaning. It was something that was of importance that I could count on or turn to, if life took a strange or unfamiliar turn.
One such major turn of events happened close to five years ago. I was at the point in my life where everything was perfect. I had a perfect partner in life. I was at the height of my career. I had everything I could ever want, within reason of course! I had a luxurious lifestyle albeit a hectic one – travelling the globe attending to clients and projects. I had my exotic travels around the world too and my social network consisted of literally the who’s who in my industry. I was happy… so I thought! There was one problem. Something did not seem right. Something was missing. I did not know at that point what it was or if it was anything at all. It was just a nagging feeling that, I was not feeling happy but I was feeling I should be happy!
I started to look for answers. My curiosity led me to the Ban and the issues pertaining to Dorje Shugden. It made me question what was real, what was not, what was right and what was not. It did not make any sense at that point but I remember being very drawn to the whole ‘problem’.
It was then that I made a very strong aspiration, a prayer of sorts, to Dorje Shugden asking for answers and showing me a way where I could, by myself, find a way to make sense of my perfect life! To even find the time to do all that would take a miracle!
Little did I know that what I was asking for was going to turn my world upside down. Within a few months, my life was thrown asunder! In a nutshell, my company lost all its clients (combination of a regional financial crisis and unexplainable situations beyond my control!) and I suddenly found myself in debt and my perfect world had come crumbling down like a house of cards. The funny thing about all this was, in hindsight, it actually gave me the time to find a Dharma center, do research, read up and eventually find my Guru. Throughout this tumultuous time however, even in the dire straits I was in, I somehow always managed to scrape by at the end of every month. The funny thing was, even at the brink of bankruptcy, I was somehow strangely lighter, happier and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life.
Sure, I had my ups and downs and my “why me” moments but that was natural coming from the excessiveness I had. Even though I am nowhere near where I was financially and my career has taken a slightly different turn, I feel a lot less stressed than I was before. The importance I once gave to material gain is no longer present. Sure, I like the finer things in life like most people do, but the difference now is, if I have it, it is fine and if I do not, it is fine too!
So, the reason why I am sharing my story with all of you is in the hope that you too look into the priorities you put into your life. What we put emphasis on is of utmost importance as it creates the causes for us to further receive the benefits or dis-benefits accordingly.
In my case, if those attachments which I had held dear (and which I thought would make me happy) had not been mercifully eradicated, I would still be miserably immersed in my world of luxury, lost in the oblivion of the ‘pleasurable’ life and blinkered into thinking I am supposed to be happy so just don’t question.
I know without question that the bizarre situation I was ‘forced’ into was the best thing that could have happened to me, and that it was no coincidence and very much a blessing from Dorje Shudgen.