I like to have fun, go clubbing and live luxuriously. I always used to think that I was still young and still had lots of time to have fun and catch up on whatever I needed to do “later”.
When I first encountered the Protector, I prayed only for wealth and fame, hoping that I would get everything I wanted just by praying and making offerings to him. I thought that since he is a Protector, he is supposed to grant all our wishes!
Things became better at the beginning in terms of finance, work and family. But a few weeks later, I was asked to move out from the place I was staying in. I was so angry and felt depressed. I questioned why this was happening to me. I asked why this Protector was not answering my prayers or “doing his job” since I had been praying to him. I didn’t realize then that it was all due to my own karma.
Luckily, I did not stop my practice. One day, my Guru gave a teaching on the Protector. He spoke about the Protector’s qualities and explained clearly to us the reasons for relying upon a Protector. I realized what I had been praying for was so small when in fact the Protector can help us to gain something much bigger: enlightenment.
In Dorje Shugden’s prayers, the main focus is always to practice the teachings of Lama Je Tsongkhapa. Every part of his prayer is a reminder for me to get rid of my bad qualities with confessions (knowing the misdeeds we have done), offering (developing a generous mind), praises (to counter jealousy) etc.
Slowly but steadily, I feel my life improving, as I become more generous, accept karma and praise others’ good qualities. Looking back now, I realize that the Protector manifested a “bad” situation for me as a lesson to learn, understand the Dharma and to be close to my Guru.
~ Kelly ~
