When I first received Dorje Shugden’s practice, I was also going through a very difficult time in my marriage and was feeling very heartbroken. What is in my heart? My Lama had advised me to think deeply and decide how I wanted to live my life in future.
He told me to have faith and trust, and to recite 100,000 Protector mantras; Dorje Shugden would help me all the way and he would also pray for me. That was the biggest relief to me at the time because my ex-husband was a very violent, difficult person who often threatened me and my children. My faith was very strong in the Protector and eventually, I chose to file for divorce.
A few months later, through my Lama’s blessings, I invited Gyenze home. My Lama had said that Gyenze would help me. I never failed to pray and offer serkyem to him every day. I prayed for my divorce to go through smoothly and peacefully. I didn’t want any violence or arguments to hurt either one of us further. Within a few months, my ex-husband called and offered to sign the divorce papers. Everything went through as I had prayed for.
I had to start my life over again. I had to set up a new office for my business and move into another apartment with my children; my mother also moved in to stay with me so I could take care of her better. She was experiencing some health problems then and we were constantly going in and out of clinics. Shortly after, my teenage son also began giving me problems.
It was a very frustrating time but at the same time, I was also grateful that I was able to go through it because I have now truly learned to appreciate the good things that I have in my life. The Protector gave me a base to fall down upon so that I could pick myself up, rebuild and grow even further. I know he has watched over me throughout this time. I am ashamed that I have disappointed him many, many times with my laziness, stubbornness and pride. I still slip but I will continue to improve.
Things are much better now. Both my children are becoming more involved in the Dharma centre and are participating regularly in the activities. I am in a very loving relationship with a new partner and have set up my own home with my children. The things I have wished for are being granted one after another. Please have faith, trust and let Dorje Shugden take charge because he knows what’s best for us and will never want anything from us.
~ Jillian ~