Author Topic: Anger and 3 types of people  (Read 11053 times)

DS Star

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Anger and 3 types of people
« on: May 13, 2013, 12:36:13 AM »
Anguttara Nikaya:

"There are three types of people in the world. What three?

One who is like carving on a rock, one who is like scratching on the ground, and one who is like writing on the water.

What sort of person is like carving on a rock?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry and his anger lasts long, just as carving on a rock is not soon worn off by wind, water or lapse of time.

What sort of person is like scratching on the ground?
Imagine a certain person who is always getting angry but his anger does not last long, just as scratching on the ground is soon worn off by the wind, water and lapse of time.

And what sort of person is like writing on the water?
Imagine a certain person who, even though spoken to harshly, sharply, roughly, is easily reconciled and becomes agreeable and friendly, just as writing on the water soon disappears."



Holding on to anger is bad for us in term of our spiritual practice as well as for our own health. Anger can destroy our merits and cause disharmony. So the longer we hold on to it, the worse it became.

As Buddhists, I believe we all need to learn to be the 3rd type... don't you agree?

Jessie Fong

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2013, 05:45:58 AM »
Yes it is the best if EVERYONE regardless whether you are Buddhist or of any other faith/beliefs, for you to subscribe to be the 3rd type.

It is always easier said than done -- our efforts must be consistent and we must always be aware to practice it.  Start off with the 2nd type and move towards being the 3rd type.  After all, how many of us are able to quickly transform and be the 3rd type if we have been behaving as the 1st type?

yontenjamyang

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2013, 06:09:50 AM »
This is a good topic. Personally I have not known many people who are type one but I suspect deep inside the egos, many people carry some grudges that cannot be wipe off easily. And it surfaces the moment a certain thing or event trigger these anger. This is the anger that is deep seated and is the anger of serial killers.
For the 2nd type, this is the most common form of anger; or at least the most observable. This form of anger is straight forward and may last a few moments to a few weeks. Any anger is bad and can lead to devastating consequences for self and others and can lead to habituated anger and huge negative karma.
Obviously the 3rd type of people are the best and in our lineage the practice of the 8 verses of thought transformation is the highest. If we practice well compassion and wisdom in the 8 verses, we realizes that ultimately, others and use are interdependent and any action to others good or bad, will results in it boomeranging back to ourselves. We just need to be aware of our anger and the moment any arises, just try to let it go. I guarantee we will feel then positive results.

pgdharma

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2013, 03:45:49 PM »
Anger is a form of suffering, because it causes pain to the angry person and to the person/s he is angry to. It is not possible to be happy while one is angry or to be happy in the company of an angry person. So it is better to subscribe to the third type. However, it’s hard not to remain still and silent when our angry emotions are screaming at us and make us want to do something negative. For this reason, when we become angry we must take great care not to act on our anger to hurt others but to practice and cultivate a loving kindness toward all beings and that includes the one we perceive that hurts, harms or betrays us.

hope rainbow

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2013, 04:07:15 PM »
I have great hopes that one day I can become none of these characters, not even writing on the water.

Sounds pretentious?
How could it be pretentious to say that?
After all, if I took refuge it is ONLY, I say ONLY, because I aspired to achieve the qualities of the Buddha and thus let go of anger TOTALLY!

The pretentious thing to say is; "I could never achieve the qualities of Buddha".
It is pretentious because it is like saying that we know better than the Buddha who told us that we CAN achieve these qualities, for if we could not WHY WOULD HE EVEN HAVE BOTHERED START TEACHING ANYWAY?

Right?

DS Star

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2013, 09:57:35 PM »
We can counter the anger by embracing it and transform it into a positive energy instead of trying to get it of it. We need to watch it, be mindful of anger when it arises. It is better for us to face it rather than trying to avoid...

As Thich Nhat Hanh puts it: holding anger in a tender way like a mother holding her baby. Anger i.e. the baby is the energy that comes from us, the mother i.e.loving-kindness is also an energy that comes from us; so when we see the anger energy arises, we invite the loving-kindness energy to come taking care of the anger by way of mindfulness.

Step by step we can overcome the anger and soon we will be like the 3rd type of person i.e. "drawing on the water."

"Whenever anger comes up, take out a mirror and look at yourself. When you are angry, you are not very beautiful...

It’s like the sunshine with the flower. In the morning, the flowers are not open yet. But the sunshine continues to visit, to shine upon the flower. And the sunshine is not only circulating around the flower, it is penetrating deeply into the flower. And if the sunshine continues like that for a few hours, the flower has to open herself to the sunshine. Anger is a kind of flower that needs the care of the sunshine, namely: Mindfulness."
– Thich Nhat Hanh

sonamdhargey

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2013, 09:52:53 AM »
To remedy anger is to know anger and to know anger is to be angry and to be angry is to be provoked and then by knowing, experiencing and after that applying remedies to counter anger. I think these are the basics steps to take before even thinking of being free of anger. We must know the source of and we must ask ourselves what is the true causes of our own anger, and the question is it based on external factor or is it based on our self cherishing mind?

dondrup

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2013, 05:46:33 PM »
Anger is defined as a deluded mental factor that observes its contaminated object, exaggerates its bad qualities, considers it to be undesirable, and wishes to harm it.  Anger is a very destructive emotion.  It is one of the root delusions where other secondary delusions will develop from.  The three root delusions being ignorance, anger and attachment. 

Why is anger so destructive?  It is the cause of disharmony, hurt, grudge, vengeance, and other negative emotions that would cause harm to oneself and others.  A moment of anger destroys eons of accumulated merits. The worst consequence is to create the cause to be born in the hell realm! 

Fortunately we can overcome anger which is impermanent in nature. The practice of patience, mindfulness, awareness, and the correct view of the nature of reality are a few methods that can be applied to eradicate anger.

RedLantern

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2013, 04:20:58 PM »
Most of us have anger and it is a very common emotion.While some people are most susceptible to not being able to control it very well,the anger controls them.There three kinds of angry people: the spewers is someone who tends to blow up when mad or who lets out his/her emotions to feel better.
Stuffers are those who do not think it is right to express anger.They feel more comfortable not dealing with it,in fear of rejection,angry outbursts and others.
A leaker tends to do things that displeases someone he/she is mad at,like being late in a meeting,knowing it's important to a person.However anger is just an emotion,a very common emotion.Learning to control our anger will take some effort and awareness,but it will lead to an ultimately happier life.

DS Star

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2013, 09:41:32 PM »
To fight anger, we must reflect on the shortcomings of anger and the loss we suffered from uncontrolled mind. Lama Zopa explained it well in his teachings in 1979 at Kopan Monastery, Nepal.

"The flame which comes from a match stick is so small, but it can burn a whole mountain, it can destroy all the bushes, all the trees on the mountain. One small fire spark touching a wire and burning it can destroy a whole building, it can burn the whole city. Like that, even if the anger is small, even if it has arisen for one second, the danger it can cause is unbelievable. However much incredible merit there is gets destroyed by anger arising—even the small anger that is arising for one second. It puts off generating the realizations of the path to enlightenment for many eons, so, like this, anger is so harmful to achieving the happiness, the perfection of our future life—nirvana and enlightenment...

The anger has destroyed one million eons of merit and that is a much greater loss than having lost uncountable millions of dollars."


He said a person who can control his anger is a brave person; one who is able to control his mind and not be controlled by his own disturbing uncontrolled mind is a real hero.

diablo1974

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2013, 02:44:53 AM »
Working towards no anger is the best but is quite impossible for us who didnt have any attainments or realisation so the minimum we have to stick to is the 3rd type of anger. Good teacher acted harsh or display wrath with compassion as a foundation and he knows the impact that you will receive and you will need this wrath to change for the better. Lay people are unable to control their anger and emotions as it come and goes instantaneously or even linger in our mind for ages.

Midakpa

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2013, 01:01:38 PM »
As practitioners, we should aspire to be the third type of person, i.e. one who has overcome anger. It is closer to what a Buddha is. A Buddha has no anger at all. He has overcome the three poisons - ignorance, attachment and anger.

Anger is a dangerous sentiment to have. According to the Lamrim, if a Dharma practitioner is angry, for example, at the point of death, their non-virtuous karma will be activated. Normally, the thoughts with which one has the greatest familiarity in this life will be the ones that manifest at the point of death. We have always had the strongest familiarity with delusions, hatred in this case, so our non-virtuous karma is sure to be activated at death and to be reborn in the lower realms. (Pabongka, Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand: 339)

brian

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2013, 03:53:16 PM »
For obvious reasons, everyone should aspire to live a life without anger or at least overcome anger. It is easier said and done but one should make effort to overcome anger rather than letting it eating into you and create hurtful feelings in the end. Anger can be very destructive to oneself because for one very simple reason, it destroys merits accumulated from good deeds. One should practice patience and hold correct view to counter anger. The world for one will be a peaceful place without the influence of anger

icy

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2013, 12:53:37 PM »
 Anger is one of the most common and destructive delusions, and it afflicts our mind almost every day. To solve the problem of anger, we first need to recognize the anger within our mind, acknowledge how it harms both ourself and others, and appreciate the benefits of being patient in the face of difficulties. We then need to apply practical methods in our daily life to reduce our anger and finally to prevent it from arising at all.

icy

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Re: Anger and 3 types of people
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2013, 02:38:56 AM »
When we are angry, when we are excited, when we are depressed, when we are elated, we are completely submerged in and identified with those thoughts and feelings. This is why we suffer. We suffer because we are completely identified with our thoughts and feelings and we think this is me. This is who I am....the thoughts and the feelings and the memories are not the problem. The problem is that we identify with them and we believe in them and so we are controlled by them. >:(