Author Topic: Quitting  (Read 28682 times)

ratanasutra

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #30 on: May 11, 2012, 05:51:39 PM »
quitting not the solution for anything as it doesn't help to solve the problems, but to hide the problem or run away from problem which actually we run from one problem to another problem as it come from our habitual.

People who always quit will never success or achieve in anything in their life because they never put effort into solve the problem when arise and find the solution for it, their life will be just a circle of trying of something then quit and start new thing and quit again.

I hope that those people will realize that the problem is come from themselves and stop run away as we never ever run away from ourselves.

Tammy

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #31 on: May 12, 2012, 02:55:15 AM »
Quitting is not uncommon in spiritual centers around the world, people change their mind! They are too attached to the worldly 'enjoyment', they claim they are not ready! All these are valid as far as the individuals (who closed to quit) are concern.

What bothers me is the way we treat our dharma brothers and sisters who shows signs of quitting. I have seen many people marginalise those who are 'branded' as quitters and instead of giving them mental support and cousin selling, they give them hard time - hence literally push them out of the doors!! How sad and I am sure this is not part of Buddha's teaching.

The should be a balance between how much time and effort eae should spend on our dharma brother n sister s who wanted to quit, help them solve their issues and stay in dharma. And when too much time and effort had been spent with no possitive results, we should just gracefully let them do whatever they wish. We should then concentrate our effort onto more 'deserving' individuals.

For those who had made decision to quit. They are not our enemies, we should still bea compassionate to then and not bad mouth them. Who knows our paths may crossed soon?!
Down with the BAN!!!

Manjushri

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #32 on: May 12, 2012, 10:14:44 AM »
When you give up, you quit. You quit on yourself, and most importantly, you quit on trying. Contrary to what you think, you ain't going to find the real exit just by quitting..if it was that easy, everyone would've quit.

What is quitting? Quitting is giving in to your comforts, quitting is giving in to your laziness, your attachments, and most importantly, giving up on respect, integrity and will. Why do we quit, and choose the easy way out? Because it is easier than pushing ourselves. In our minds, it is easier to not do anything and expect everything to fall on our laps in a silver platter, instead of pushing ourselves towards the goal (whatever your goal may be). If succeeding was so easy, everyone would've achieved success by now.

Pertaining to one's spiritual development, quitting is a result of not wanting to transform, change and overcome ourselves. When we quit learning the Dharma, or any religion in fact, we are indirectly saying that we know more than the essence of the teachings. We cannot let go our attachment to self, and focus on helping others and transforming our minds. When we have to give, we'd rather run. But when receiving, we fool ourselves thinking that we can give just as much or more. What is the purpose of life, if all we do is just quit, run and hide. Life in itself is a continuous game..how are you going to find the exit? By learning and doing something about it to actually reach that point..not by being flippant and quitting. And what is that path to bring you to the exit? - Dharma. If you keep quitting, you'll never find your way out of the trappings you created for yourself.

biggyboy

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #33 on: May 12, 2012, 11:08:07 AM »
Many people quit in many ways be it with our without dharma.  Why?  Many quit due to many reasons which are endless. No point to dwell on these negative points.  One should think more and ask themselves what is it that one wants out of it..what is the motivation or intention when one embarks on the tasks or in this case spiritual path.  What more when one knows the truth and due to own ego, one is not happy, not according to their expectations and what they want...they blame it on dharma, others and never themselves and they QUIT...due to limited understanding and knowledge, ignorance, laziness and not wanting to put in much effort to push themselves.

How ignorant they are should they quit DHARMA.  Dharma is never hard.  It is we ourselves make it hard not wanting to transform for the better where the ultimate happiness is in store at the end of it.  How else to get that ultimate happiness if we do not want to put in the EFFORT and APPLICATION!  Only when we put in effort and application, we WILL see results.   Let's put dharma aside for now, which self made successful billionaires (not from inheritance) became rich and successful without putting in effort, sacrifices and hardwork? In the course of the journey to becoming successful or rich, many disappointments and setbacks would arise. But with tenacity, persistence, acceptance and letting go, one will SUCCEED!  Likewise for dharma to better oneself towards the ultimate happiness and peace.

Lastly, what else are we looking for? More sufferings or ultimate happiness?

Gypsy

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2012, 12:34:51 PM »
I like this from Thaimonk:
"We have to realize something and realize this now, DHARMA IS NOT HARD. We have to stop saying it's hard. We have to stop saying it creates difficulties in our lives. We create difficulties in our lives. Dharma is the best thing in our lives. Why so self destructive and extreme to remove the best thing from our lives. Happiness is from our mind. Unhappiness is from our mind. Our mind creates it all."

Quitters are normally those who feel extremely insecure, irresponsible, low self-esteem, self-destructive, lack of determination and these people are actually loser. When they cannot get solution to resolve the problem, be it relationships, work, family or friends, then they run away from responsibility, hide in their comfort zone and let others to solve it or even pray to God and wish He can actually use his magic wand to dissolve their problem.

Sometimes our mind is just so deluded by worldly concerns or pleasure and we forget the purpose we came to Dharma in the first place. When we are on the path of pursuing Dharma, along the way we sure face obstacles that will pull us away from good things. We have to learn up and understand well the real meaning of practicing Dharma. To obtain happiness is not just pray for it, but transform yourself and eventually you will get it. Dharma is the only best thing you must have full faith in it. Dharma never run away from you, but you run away from Dharma.

RedLantern

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #35 on: May 13, 2012, 02:35:02 PM »
People quit everyday,in huge proportions.CEO quits leading, Althletes quit working out.Sales people quit selling,couples quit their marriages.Some quit their diet,exercise or even smoking.Quitting is a most common  thing to do in life.Dharma can change people's view on quitting as Buddha's teachings makes them realised the truth and the value of Dharma.Without religious values ,worldly knowledge can lead to man's downfall and destruction.Never quit Dharma as it can bring maximum benefit and happiness for mankind.

Midakpa

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #36 on: May 18, 2012, 05:37:55 PM »
I've always wondered what will happen to those who quit the Dharma after taking refuge. Or those who quit after taking the Bodhisattva vows. What kind of karma awaits them? In "The words of My Perfect Teacher", Patrul Rinpoche says "Anyone who, having entered the Basic Vehicle, breaks his vows and commitment to bodhicitta, has nowhere else to go but the lower realms. He will not escape from states where there is no opportunity to practise the Dharma. Anyone who, having entered the Secret Mantra Vehicle, breaks his samaya commitments to his teacher and spiritual brothers and sisters, will bring about his own ruin and theirs, destroying any prospect of accomplishments."

I feel very sad when the people who quit are the very ones who brought me into the Dharma and who encouraged me to practice in the first place. It is very hard for me to understand this.

Carpenter

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #37 on: May 18, 2012, 06:36:28 PM »
I've always wondered what will happen to those who quit the Dharma after taking refuge. Or those who quit after taking the Bodhisattva vows. What kind of karma awaits them? In "The words of My Perfect Teacher", Patrul Rinpoche says "Anyone who, having entered the Basic Vehicle, breaks his vows and commitment to bodhicitta, has nowhere else to go but the lower realms. He will not escape from states where there is no opportunity to practise the Dharma. Anyone who, having entered the Secret Mantra Vehicle, breaks his samaya commitments to his teacher and spiritual brothers and sisters, will bring about his own ruin and theirs, destroying any prospect of accomplishments."

I feel very sad when the people who quit are the very ones who brought me into the Dharma and who encouraged me to practice in the first place. It is very hard for me to understand this.


It takes a lot of merits for us to be able to stay in a Dharma centre and receive any teaching. After receiving this teaching and we didn’t apply it in our daily life, it is no different than just a theory. When there is no hard work putting on it, eventually we are creating a karma for us to leave Dharma, and when that happens, our mind will closed up and whatever positive things will become negative when come to us. With such mind, 3 lower realms are waiting for us.

But fortunately he brought u in Dharma, so, every effort u put in Dharma will generate some sort of merits for him. By not able to do anything to help, doing the Dharma work well, and dedicate these merits to him, so that the Dharma seed in him will blossom sooner.

dondrup

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #38 on: May 18, 2012, 08:23:34 PM »
There is always a possibility for practitioners to quit or to contemplate quitting whether it is on a secular or spiritual matter.  The main cause of quitting is because at the outset, practitioners did not have clear understanding of the objective or purpose of spiritual practice and what the spiritual journey entails.

The journey to enlightenment is not easy.  We definitely need the support of Guru and the Three Jewels in order to be on the right track.  We need the moral support of our Dharma brothers and sisters. It is difficult to practise alone unless we are qualified to practise like a yogi or an ascetic forest monk or nun.

In a very summarised form, we must practise the 6 perfections of giving, patience, moral discipline, effort, concentration, and wisdom.  Have we been giving enough since we have received so much from Guru, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha? It took us countless past lives to be what we are now.  Of course we got to be very patient to rid ourselves of all the impurities in our mind! It could take us many future lifetimes before we could achieve the results we longed for. We must practise by upholding our vows and commitments; they are designed to guide and help us. We definitely have to put in lots of efforts to fight against our strong delusions which control us for so very long. Be focused and not be distracted by little failures! Finally wisdom is what we want.  Without realizing moral discipline, we can’t develop concentration.  Without concentration, we cannot develop wisdom.  Without wisdom, we won’t realize the importance of moral discipline and concentration. The Three Higher Trainings are interdependent. The Three Higher Trainings on moral disciple, concentration and wisdom is part of the 6 Perfections. 

Practitioners should think twice or thrice before considering quitting.  Quitting makes all the efforts from the beginning a waste of time.  Quitting will do more harm than good to practitioners because they are creating the cause to fail further.  They are also creating the cause not to meet Dharma again!  That is a very unfortunate thing to do when we are gifted with a precious human life and the golden opportunity to practise Dharma.

Have the quitters thought about why they have to quit? Maybe they need to replenish their merits in order to sustain their spiritual practice.  No problem is unsolvable; problems are impermanent!  There are many more reasons to not quit ...

There were countless Buddhas in the past.  There are countless Buddhas at the present.  And there will be countless Buddhas in the future.  It is guaranteed that all sentient beings can become Buddhas because we have the potential to be Buddhas.  Hence, just do it!

Rihanna

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #39 on: May 27, 2012, 04:37:19 PM »
Quitting is the easiest way to escape. You don't like your boss, you quit your job. You don't like your spouse, you quit your marriage. You find exams too tough, you quit school. You can't get along with your siblings, you quit (renounce your relationship with them). Your spiritual guide, in your opinion, is too tough on you so you quit your dharma practice. And the list goes on and on. And this is the story of some people's lives. Then you take a good look at where they are and where some people who never quits are. Each time they fall, they get up immediately and battles on to make an improvement. And you ask yourself, "who do you respect more?". If your answer is The Quiters, may I recommend you to read the posts on WILL WE HAVE REGRETS AND MORE REGRETS http://www.dorjeshugden.com/forum/index.php?topic=1901.0.


Carpenter

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #40 on: June 01, 2012, 03:28:25 AM »
I used to be quitting in my previous years, everytime when I met difficulties, I’ll quit, when I have problem with boss, I quit. I keep thinking after quitting I might get a better job and better working environment, between colleague and boss will work like a family, stay harmony and no back biting. But then, one after another, I still face the same problem.

Until when I started to know bit of Dharma, when I started to understand more, then only I realize that this is my karma, as long as my karma of this is not exhausted yet, I will still face it no matter where I run, and it will become worsen if this karma were to drag longer, the karma will come back bigger.

So, face it, overcome it and settle it, if not, it will be forever quitting.



buddhalovely

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #41 on: June 09, 2012, 01:15:38 PM »
We all face obstacles in pursuing our goals, whether they’re professional or personal.

We think we’re on the right track but realize we’ve chosen the wrong approach. We’re enthusiastic and hard-working, but our support system disintegrates when we need them the most. We’re just about to make significant progress when we run out of time or funding.

Tenacious as we may be, we all have our breaking points—that moment when the potential rewards stop justifying the effort. Usually that’s the hump that separates your best shot and your best reality.

DSFriend

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #42 on: June 15, 2012, 08:06:46 PM »
Quitting is not uncommon in spiritual centers around the world, people change their mind! They are too attached to the worldly 'enjoyment', they claim they are not ready! All these are valid as far as the individuals (who closed to quit) are concern.

What bothers me is the way we treat our dharma brothers and sisters who shows signs of quitting. I have seen many people marginalise those who are 'branded' as quitters and instead of giving them mental support and cousin selling, they give them hard time - hence literally push them out of the doors!! How sad and I am sure this is not part of Buddha's teaching.

The should be a balance between how much time and effort eae should spend on our dharma brother n sister s who wanted to quit, help them solve their issues and stay in dharma. And when too much time and effort had been spent with no possitive results, we should just gracefully let them do whatever they wish. We should then concentrate our effort onto more 'deserving' individuals.

For those who had made decision to quit. They are not our enemies, we should still bea compassionate to then and not bad mouth them. Who knows our paths may crossed soon?!

If we can help someone on to the path, stay on the path and grow is the most rewarding experience. Rewarding doesn't mean that the experience is a breeze but often times, we get the most satisfaction when we put in our heart and soul.
If we truly care for someone, then if we see our friend quitting, then what should drive us to reach out is because we don't want them to get into deeper trouble and problems. I suppose, sometimes just like a caring mother, out of a sense of urgency, people react in a "hard" way, hoping that this will act as a wake up call.


Dorje Pakmo

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #43 on: June 16, 2012, 12:51:17 PM »
I agree that it’s not uncommon for people to quit from their Dharma centre and Dharma work, because maybe it wasn't as easy as they thought. From my observation and having listened to the quite a number of nice, normal everyday people, Dharma work, is something they do because they "feel' they are doing something good for the society. This in a way is true, but Dharma really goes beyond that.

The journey in the Dharma becomes harder and tougher each day as we slowly and painfully remove our past negative imprints through our practice. But when the impurities in our mind are slowly being removed, we start to see things more clearly. The goal is to achieve REAL HAPPINESS.

Samsara on the other hand, is a lot easier to fall back on, as it is the familiar, a don’t need to change, easy, non action, comfortable, fun place to be. It is so beautiful and seductive. It is a place full of TEMPORAL HAPPINESS.  Be tempted and be prepared to pay the price dearly.

When the thought of quitting arises in our mind, we should quickly remind ourselves the motivation that brought us to where we are. We wanted the Dharma so we ourselves can improve and become a better person, we wanted to work for the Dharma, for the benefit of others, well, if we do not face up to the challenge and improve ourselves when situation arises,  then how can we help others? When we ourselves are so weak? How when we get stuck? Ask for advice and help from our Dharma brothers and sisters! If they refuse to, then we should check, have we been LAZY and always RELY, DEPEND and WAIT for others to help do our work for us? Have we been RESPONSIBLE? Always check into ourselves when things get tough. Do not blame others and the situation. It is all in our own MIND.

Dharma is always choosing the harder path.
DORJE PAKMO

Tenzin Malgyur

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #44 on: June 16, 2012, 04:58:00 PM »
Thank you thaimonk and tk for your advice on countering our very dangerous thoughts of quitting dharma. You have enforced the fact that quitters do not get anywhere. I admit that I have thought of quitting at some point of my practice.  I reckon it was due to my laziness and delusions that lead me to wanting to quit. After reading an article on how difficult it was to be born as a human who can practice dharma and eventually be free of suffering, I realized it would be real foolish to quit. May I be strong to overcome any thoughts of quitting with all these inspirational articles.