Author Topic: Quitting  (Read 28871 times)

Ensapa

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #45 on: June 28, 2012, 01:16:03 PM »
Personally, i do not believe in quitting the Dharma and I am well aware of all the challenges that taking the path of Dharma has. It has to do more with self created obstacles, wrong perceptions and negative habituations that have been accumulated for many lifetimes. To overcome so much negativities, it is not going to be an easy or straightforward journey. Some people who are not used to difficulties may give up, or if the Dharma practice touched a sensitive place in their hearts and minds and remind them of something that they do not wish to be reminded. Definitely a difficult journey, but to not go through it is more difficult in the long run as there will be more suffering, pain and regret.

To me, to stop myself from quitting, I question myself constantly and constantly align my motivation so that i am not here to gain some sort of company or some sense of belonging or to get something out of my Lama and Dharma center, apart from the Dharma as people usually quit if they have ulterior motive to join the Dharma. Whenever i get upset when someone else criticize me or when i feel helpless, i question myself again why am i upset and realize that its just a misaligned motivation until my mind becomes stable and determined to stay to Dharma no matter what happens or no matter how painful things or situations turn out to be. That is how i kind of remove or challenge my thoughts of quitting.

If i do know someone in my Dharma community who wants to quit, I do hear them out as there is always a reason to trigger people to quit. sometimes it could be an imaginary problem, a misunderstanding of sorts, or it could be that the person has attitude problems and then explain to them and encourage them to not give up and give things another chance. I have seen and heard of people berating people who want to quit, and its not exactly a kind thing to do. Advice, support and care should be given to those who need it and wrathful action also has its place in such situations at the same time.

Some people quit the Dharma because their negative karma stacked up to the point where it cuts them off from Dharma so that they dont create more negative karma. When those leave, it would kinda feel natural in some way, but at least, they have the imprints and they might rejoin Dharma again when the conditions are right.

Carpenter

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #46 on: June 29, 2012, 08:09:13 AM »
Personally, i do not believe in quitting the Dharma and I am well aware of all the challenges that taking the path of Dharma has. It has to do more with self created obstacles, wrong perceptions and negative habituations that have been accumulated for many lifetimes. To overcome so much negativities, it is not going to be an easy or straightforward journey. Some people who are not used to difficulties may give up, or if the Dharma practice touched a sensitive place in their hearts and minds and remind them of something that they do not wish to be reminded. Definitely a difficult journey, but to not go through it is more difficult in the long run as there will be more suffering, pain and regret.

To me, to stop myself from quitting, I question myself constantly and constantly align my motivation so that i am not here to gain some sort of company or some sense of belonging or to get something out of my Lama and Dharma center, apart from the Dharma as people usually quit if they have ulterior motive to join the Dharma. Whenever i get upset when someone else criticize me or when i feel helpless, i question myself again why am i upset and realize that its just a misaligned motivation until my mind becomes stable and determined to stay to Dharma no matter what happens or no matter how painful things or situations turn out to be. That is how i kind of remove or challenge my thoughts of quitting.

If i do know someone in my Dharma community who wants to quit, I do hear them out as there is always a reason to trigger people to quit. sometimes it could be an imaginary problem, a misunderstanding of sorts, or it could be that the person has attitude problems and then explain to them and encourage them to not give up and give things another chance. I have seen and heard of people berating people who want to quit, and its not exactly a kind thing to do. Advice, support and care should be given to those who need it and wrathful action also has its place in such situations at the same time.

Some people quit the Dharma because their negative karma stacked up to the point where it cuts them off from Dharma so that they dont create more negative karma. When those leave, it would kinda feel natural in some way, but at least, they have the imprints and they might rejoin Dharma again when the conditions are right.



To my opinion, why so many people wanted to quit Dharma is because Dharma has showed them the truth, and unfortunately the truth is just exactly going against what we used to practice since young age. That’s why people find it very difficult, as they are not used to it.

For example:
Whenever we have problem, we always pointed our finger out and claim that this must be someone’s fault, because of that person, that’s why I’m in this difficult situation. And when we are happy, we claimed that because we love ourselves, we treat ourselves well, that’s why we feel happiness. But without realizing that the ‘happiness’ that we claimed is very fragile, it come and go very fast. Then we continue to chase after it again, we have been so used to it until we almost forgot what we really want in life.

Dharma teaching is right opposite of our practice, when we have difficulties, it is no one’s fault but ours, we are the one that created this situation, and happiness is not by satisfying ourselves to gain, in fact, we find happiness through helping others, and that kind of happiness is long lasting, because by helping someone to overcome their difficulties, literally we ‘saved’ someone, that kind of happiness is un-describable. I’m pretty sure most of you here has been through this.

So we should discard our old time practice and learn to serve others, with this, happiness will not be far from us already. When we accepted the truth and practicing it, we won’t have the thought of quitting already, because Dharma is already in us.

Ensapa

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Re: Quitting
« Reply #47 on: June 29, 2012, 11:03:01 AM »
Personally, i do not believe in quitting the Dharma and I am well aware of all the challenges that taking the path of Dharma has. It has to do more with self created obstacles, wrong perceptions and negative habituations that have been accumulated for many lifetimes. To overcome so much negativities, it is not going to be an easy or straightforward journey. Some people who are not used to difficulties may give up, or if the Dharma practice touched a sensitive place in their hearts and minds and remind them of something that they do not wish to be reminded. Definitely a difficult journey, but to not go through it is more difficult in the long run as there will be more suffering, pain and regret.

To me, to stop myself from quitting, I question myself constantly and constantly align my motivation so that i am not here to gain some sort of company or some sense of belonging or to get something out of my Lama and Dharma center, apart from the Dharma as people usually quit if they have ulterior motive to join the Dharma. Whenever i get upset when someone else criticize me or when i feel helpless, i question myself again why am i upset and realize that its just a misaligned motivation until my mind becomes stable and determined to stay to Dharma no matter what happens or no matter how painful things or situations turn out to be. That is how i kind of remove or challenge my thoughts of quitting.

If i do know someone in my Dharma community who wants to quit, I do hear them out as there is always a reason to trigger people to quit. sometimes it could be an imaginary problem, a misunderstanding of sorts, or it could be that the person has attitude problems and then explain to them and encourage them to not give up and give things another chance. I have seen and heard of people berating people who want to quit, and its not exactly a kind thing to do. Advice, support and care should be given to those who need it and wrathful action also has its place in such situations at the same time.

Some people quit the Dharma because their negative karma stacked up to the point where it cuts them off from Dharma so that they dont create more negative karma. When those leave, it would kinda feel natural in some way, but at least, they have the imprints and they might rejoin Dharma again when the conditions are right.



To my opinion, why so many people wanted to quit Dharma is because Dharma has showed them the truth, and unfortunately the truth is just exactly going against what we used to practice since young age. That’s why people find it very difficult, as they are not used to it.

For example:
Whenever we have problem, we always pointed our finger out and claim that this must be someone’s fault, because of that person, that’s why I’m in this difficult situation. And when we are happy, we claimed that because we love ourselves, we treat ourselves well, that’s why we feel happiness. But without realizing that the ‘happiness’ that we claimed is very fragile, it come and go very fast. Then we continue to chase after it again, we have been so used to it until we almost forgot what we really want in life.

Dharma teaching is right opposite of our practice, when we have difficulties, it is no one’s fault but ours, we are the one that created this situation, and happiness is not by satisfying ourselves to gain, in fact, we find happiness through helping others, and that kind of happiness is long lasting, because by helping someone to overcome their difficulties, literally we ‘saved’ someone, that kind of happiness is un-describable. I’m pretty sure most of you here has been through this.

So we should discard our old time practice and learn to serve others, with this, happiness will not be far from us already. When we accepted the truth and practicing it, we won’t have the thought of quitting already, because Dharma is already in us.

That could be one factor out of the many. There are also may other factors that can cause someone to quit the Dharma, for example like an unsupportive community, or if that person feels left out, or that person suffers from mental issues that cause them to perceive his or her community as harmful. It could also be that they joined the Dharma for ulterior motives, and when those motives are not met, they leave the center and never return, or give up Buddhism altogether. It is not exactly a straightforward situation and neither will it have a straightforward solution. In any case, for whatever reason these people leave the Dharma, it basically means that their karma and affinity has run out and they did not renew it or were unable to renew it due to them being in the Dharma for the wrong reasons. Some people run out of energy or drive to do the Dharma further because nothing can motivate or fuel them anymore but this can be easily traced back to incorrect motivations.

Some people view the Dharma as a quick fix or quick solution to their problems. Some people use it to cover their insecurities, while some others use it as a cover for their inadequacies and their lack of purpose and goals in life. When Dharma starts to push them to face their own issues, because the Dharma is about the truth and getting to the bottom of things, they tend to get disillusioned by the Dharma and turn their backs on Dharma. Therefore, to prevent ourselves from running away or "giving up", we need to always check our motivations. Our motivations for Dharma can be traced 3 main types:

Quote

1. Proper Motivation:  It depends on each individual. Normally divide into three different kinds of motivation. i.e.

A: Least motivation.
One can generate motivation just to be able to be reborn into another fortunate rebirth so that one can continue our practice in our next life. Because if we fall into an unfortunate rebirth like Hell, Hungry Ghost and Animal life then we have no way to practice, but instead we have to suffer more and more. Therefore with this concern if you Practice of Dharma with this motivation is known as least motivation.

B: Medium Motivation.
Even if I am born in human rebirth or higher like Demi God, and God realm, I still have to face all kind of suffering such as birth, aging sickness and death. These are the major forms of suffering which I cannot escape from cyclic existence of samsara. Wherever I may be born I am forced to be born in Samsara by the force of my own negative karmic actions. Therefore, I must come out of cyclic existence of Samsara and must achieve Nirvana or Self Realization, so that I don't have to be born with the force of my negative karmic action. Practice of Dharma with this motivation is known as Medium Motivation.

C: Highest Motivation.
Just achieving Nirvana or Self Realization for myself alone is not enough as all the mother sentient beings still remain in Samsara. I just cannot be a selfish Dharma practitioner. Therefore, I must practice Dharma to free all the mother sentient beings from their suffering and achieve ultimate happiness. Generate Bodhicitta or Mind of Enlightenment for the welfare of all mother sentient beings and practice dharma with this motivation is known as Highest motivation.

The Highest Motivation had two divisions:
(1) Causal Perfection Vehicle and Resultant Tantric Vehicle.
In your Dharma practice if your motivation is any one of these three then your practice is true Dharma practice, though the first two Small/Least Motivation and Medium Motivation are for Hinayana Vehicle.

If your concern of practicing Dharma is only for the achievement for this current life, then your practice is call Worldly Dharma. That means it is not true Dharma at all. Therefore make sure when you generate Motivation it must be at least any of these three but better still, strive with the Highest Motivation.

Which motivation we have will determine how much effort we will put in the Dharma, and how long will we stay.