Author Topic: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK  (Read 6680 times)

LosangKhyentse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 850
  • WORLD PEACE PROTECTOR DORJE SHUGDEN
My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« on: June 11, 2010, 06:40:57 PM »
Dear Alexis,

This is a formal request to you. You need not answer.

From today onwards, please do not comment on anything I post. I will not comment on any of your posts also.

I prefer to have no communications with you whatsoever at this time.

I find your posts very impolite and offensive. I do not have any power to request you to comment or not comment on anyone else, but I respectfully would not like any comments from you.

I will submit this to administration. I fully apologize, but I am very uncomfortable. With folded hands and regrets.

TK

cc Admin

Big Uncle

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1995
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2010, 02:21:37 AM »
Dear Alexis,

I think you got to reflect on how you convey your criticism. I looked back at some of the posts and I found many of your comments a put down on others and some even downright racist. I am referring to instances where you were putting the brochure down as a crackerjack and even hoping that the brochures stay in the far east.

That's why I found many of your comments rude and not constructive. Expressing your opinion is one thing but given this freedom, shouldn't we give more constructive comments in a language and content that will help spread Dorje Shugden instead? Well, that's my honest opinion.



honeydakini

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 401
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2010, 08:30:45 PM »

[....] 
Otherwise, there is always room for improvement in diplomatically improving the discourse  :)

Hear Hear! I agree that while it is good to have critical (and often passionate) discussions, there is always ways for improving HOW we communicate with each other. I am sure that nobody here has an overt intention of being a mean and evil person. I would like to think nobody comes into this forum thinking, "Hm who can I upset today."

But while it is healthy to open and critical discussions, I think it's also very helpful to use the forum as a training ground by listening to the feedback that other people are giving us about our "speech" and action. I.e. if several people have come back to say that our posts are upsetting / condescending / offensive, we should consider it as  that: feedback. If we wish to be open and critical in our approach and discussions, then we also have to be willing to take the criticism and "openness" if it is directed back towards us personally. Then look at how we can improve or amend from there. We are not here to bash each other but to constructively help each other. So there is also no need to be defensive.

I am not addressing this just to Alexis but to all forum friends in general, as something for all of us to think about :) It's always nicer to be on good terms and friends with all, no?

DharmaDefender

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 988
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2010, 10:13:33 PM »

We will grind his lineage into dust, as he once did to Us!
What goes around, comes around,
Believe it
!

So when does it end? Once we've ground his lineage into dust, who wins? Will the karma not come back to us?

Middleway

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 87
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2010, 11:09:10 PM »
I'm into this 'watch how you communicate' thing. I mention this not in judgement on anyone else, but only because I've found myself mistaking lack of sensitivity for making a strong point. We just have to check our own minds though.

dsnowlion

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 702
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2010, 11:20:15 PM »
If there was some kind of voting system or consensus, you would have mine too on the "watch how we communicate".

There is nothing more to say really if 8 out of 10 people say there is something wrong with your speech, then there is. No need to justify and debate back and forth. Really it is just FEEDBACK like what honeydakini said and one can choose to take it, accept, find a solution and move on or continue not believing what the majority perceives of you for that is what one is projecting to others.

The more one justify, the more one look defensive, silly and petty. And then the more you'll need to justify to cover the ego. Being firm/rigid/stubborn in ones view can be an obstacle in learning and improving oneself to the next level.

Peace
xddsnowlion

Middleway

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 87
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2010, 08:05:17 AM »
One of my Teachers once told me that if we are being criticised it is likely that there is at least some seed of truth in the criticism. Inapropriate attention can take a seed & blow it out of proportion, but it is up to us to identify this seed & remove it (I've found it very helpful with the DS's 'criticisms' to really look in my mind and check for sectarianism etc - I deffinitely found some! Though that's just me.) on the other hand, when we are giving criticism we have to be very mindful of inapropriate attention arising and seeing things that are not there (Trinlay Kalsang just got criticised for something in another thread that is simply not there). As ever, it's down to checking our own minds.

I don't agree with the '8 out of 10' thing though, that would be a scary way to prove culpability!

triesa

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 609
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2010, 12:40:41 AM »
Words have a lots of power, so it is our duty to be mindful on whatever we write to express our views.

We should move on and develope a healthy forum for new people to come visit this website, I think this is far more important than our own ego.

Triesa.

icy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1491
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2010, 02:15:18 AM »
Yes, I agree with you triesa.  This is the foundation of what a healthy forum should be - creating awareness of our most swift and powerful Lord DS as well as educating people who has good merits to cross path at this site.  So please be mindful man!

icy

harrynephew

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 411
  • Love Shugden, Love all Lamas, Heal the World!
    • Email
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2010, 02:19:34 AM »
I personally respect what everyone has to say in this forum and they all bear valid points from different angles. But sometimes we overlook the meaning of having to share and things become personal and that's when we breach the point of harmony within the forum.

Our great Lord Dorje Shugden is a man/deity of peace and HARMONY. Let us all reflect by practicing our control in speech(writing) and mind in this forum so that our true qualities and views can inspire more and more people to come under Lord Shugden's care and protection.

This way, we make the lineage of the worthy Gandenpas grow and thus delight the mind of our protector.

Wouldn't this be a cause for us to unleash Dorje Shugden's real power to go global in the world?

put on your thinking caps and let go of your emo
H1N1
Harry Nephew

Love Shugden, Love all Lamas, Heal the World!

honeydakini

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 401
Re: My formal request to Alexis please. My apologies. TK
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2010, 05:27:49 PM »
Hi TK,



I understand that there have been some differences in views between you and Alexis. I just want you to know that I appreciate the way you have expressed your views throughout in a very gentle and caring way.

This is a very nice post that clearly expresses your discomfort at this time but remaining respectful of all on the forum.

I guess there will always be differences in a forum, ups downs, happy hearts and broken hearts - as long as we are in samsara there will be differences! But there is a lot we can learn from people like TK who proactively stop it from getting worse. I have seen how TK kindly and skilfully diffuses many heated discussions and I appreciate this very much. It helps to keep me in check for sure! Thank you for being here and being such a strong, caring and stable presence on the forum.