That's certainly an interesting perspective. I agree with all you have said and pointed out. You've made many obvious points, though unfortunately, I don't think many of the Tibetans even realise the double standards that are happening everywhere throughout the Tibetan Buddhist community.
You see, the Dalai Lama has been so long revered as their king, that the lines between church and state - so necessary in every successful nation and peoples - have been blurred for a long time. The Dalai Lama serves as both a secular head and a spiritual head, and the edicts and "orders" he issues have necessarily become one AND the other. So a spiritual instruction also becomes a secular one, and vice versa.
Whatever the Dalai Lama chooses to say or instruct in the spiritual sphere is his prerogative as their spiritual leader. If he says that one particular practice or other is not encouraged, or that he doesn't wish to see certain religious groups, for whatever reasons, that's within his jurisdiction as a religious leader. (Whether it's right or not is a different issue).
But you see, the problem has become much more complicated than that because it has creeped its way over the secular affairs of their community. Dorje Shugden practitioners are not permitted to his spiritual activities - dharma talks, initiations or whatever. Perhaps you could still argue that that is a spiritual decision he is entitled to as their head. But certainly, as a secular head, he should still care for the welfare and rights of his people AS TIBETAN CITIZENS AND TIBETAN PEOPLE, regardless of their religious choices and denominations?
How can someone who makes a certain religious choice be excluded completely from all other secular activities and social, welfare rights, which is the right and privilege of EVERY CITIZEN? How does one's religious choices bear onto their civil rights and standing? It is incongruous.
Sadly though, this is the situation within the tibetan exiled community now. Dorje Shugden practitioners are ostracised by fellow Dharma practitioners for their spiritual choices AND they are also shunned by their own people, denied welfare, education, medical help or even the right to vote, though these activities and rights have nothing to do with being religious and everyone to do with just being a human and a part of a community.