Author Topic: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...  (Read 16176 times)

OMB

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2013, 05:26:55 PM »
Buddha taught that inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. It's an essential ingredient to peace of mind.

maricisun

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2014, 03:00:19 PM »
Something we can learn from the video. It's not easy to forgive someone who has taken away the most precious things in our lives. It takes a lot of courage to even face the murderer what more to forgive him.
But to forgive is to forget the pain one has gone through for so long. It is easier to forgive and let go than to hold on to the anger.
What's done is done. There's no turning back, so why hold on?

gbds3jewels

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2014, 07:42:05 AM »
There's a saying forgive and forget but we often hear another saying "forgiven but not forgotten". Our memory is as such that we usually either find it extremely hard to forget a traumatic event or out of some reflex protection mechanism we suppress such memories so deep we don't remember them at all.

Can we truly forgive without forgetting. By our memory latching on to a particular event, does it also mean that deep down somewhere inside us, we have not truly forgiven? I don't doubt the human capacity to "forgive", but I do think they are different level of forgiveness. To not be vengeful in my opinion is the basic form of forgiveness. To be able to forget and never reach into our memory to bring up such incidents in heated moments of anger or despair is a deeper form of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a powerful healing element but I think in any form of forgiveness, the person also have to forgive oneself as well and that it is okay to let go and forgive whatever bad things are done to our loved ones. That our loved ones do not require us to hold a vengeance against the other person.

rossoneri

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #18 on: April 06, 2014, 03:38:53 PM »
Amazing and it takes a lot of courage to do so and especially someone brutally murdered your daughter with cautiousness. Logically it will be better if we could forgive someone and move on with life but it is much easy to say than done. Nevertheless is much better and healthier for a person if we can not to have vengeance to be instil in our lives and be burden by whatever we are not happy about.

brian

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #19 on: April 09, 2014, 06:34:15 AM »
It is always very easy to say so... To perform it is another question all together. To heal, we have to let go and forgive. We have to do it or else it will still embedded in our minds and it can affect our future rebirth if it is not addressed properly. To forget and let go is classic in the sense that it frees us from being chained by anger and hatred. By practising Tsongkhapa will be the best medicine for this. :)

Midakpa

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2014, 02:27:54 PM »
Forgiveness is a universal quality. For the parents of the victim to forgive the serial killer, they must have realised that only an insane person could have committed such a crime.

From a Buddhist perspective, by not hating the killer, one is acting according to the dharma. The Buddha said that, "Evil-doers are not wicked by nature. They do evil because they are ignorant". In this case, the evil-doer is suffering from the sickness of insanity. We can also look at the case from the point of view of karma. If we accept the law of cause and effect, it will be easier to accept the fate that the victims of the killer suffered in this life. If we believe in karma, it is easier to let go of hatred and the need for revenge.

Big Uncle

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2014, 07:13:21 PM »
Nothing is more poignant than this example of forgiveness. You must click on the link and watch the video.

Gripping images: Mother of #Iran murder victim stops public execution at last minute.

The emotional scene was captured by a local news photographer. The BBC's Roja Assadi talks us through the images.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10153275522502588&set=vb.59145437587&type=2&theater

Klein

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #22 on: April 20, 2014, 06:26:26 AM »
To forgive the person who murdered your child or any loved one is definitely a very difficult thing to do. Your own child is an attachment very hard to let go whether dead or alive. When the child is brutally murdered how does one get the strength to forgive and move on ?
In Dharma, its the child's karma, in past life or this life that resulted in such a tragedy taking place. Similarly, the parent's karma to have to endure the tremendous pain of losing a child. To reduce or eliminate this suffering one has to be able to let go and move on. Forgiveness is the best method. Contemplate with compassion on how sick this muderer is; what horrible karma he would have accumulated killing almost 100 humans. He will surely suffer in hell. Om mani padme hung.

I agree with Cookie. Everything that happens is a result of our karma. Because of our lack of dharma practise, we cannot turn against the tide of our karma. No matter how difficult it is NOT to blame, we have no other choice but to let go and forgive. Otherwise, the karma will continue to future lives.

Now that our mind is clear and undisturbed, it is very important to take some time to contemplate on karma. The more we understand karma, the easier it is for us to let go and forgive.

dondrup

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #23 on: April 20, 2014, 07:29:13 AM »
Had the murdered not committed a similar act in their past lives, they would not had been killed by the murderer in this life. It is due to ignorance that one commits the negative action of killing. A person who consume meat daily is no different from the murderer in this case. Both are committing the act of killing! The parents of the victims who had expressed their anguish and wished for the murderer to die in hell are no better than the murderer!  Because the mental action is strengthened by their anger, there will be repercussion too!  Hatred begets hatred. One who had killed gets killed.  Such is the workings of Karma. If sentient beings failed to understand and accept Karma, this vicious cycle of killing continues and sentient beings continue to suffer endlessly.  Once we understand why killing had occurred, naturally compassion will arise to want to end the suffering of the murderers, the victims and those who are ignorant about creating the causes of killing.

Not everyone is able to forgive murderers or someone who had caused the death of a loved one.  In this case some of the parents couldn't forgive because they are separated from what they loved and attached to. Attachment to their loved ones is the true cause of their suffering.  And for the parents of these victims who had forgiven the perpetrators, they had acted out of wisdom and great compassion.  It is truly courageous and kind of these parents!

angelica

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2014, 07:22:20 AM »
The video on "An Unforgettable Act of Forgiveness in Court - by the Father of a Murder Victim", sent very strong messages to us :

1. Those that cannot forgive, they have anger and hatred towards the murderer. They cursed him. By holding on to this, they will not have a peaceful life. Their negative thought can lead to more negative karma and suffering.

2. Whereas the father of the victim forgive the murderer and he looks more calm and peace and he is doing what GOD want him to do, to forgive.

To forgive is not easy, but once you are able to do it, we are being kind to ourself. Forgiveness is the most beautiful act.

As a Buddhist, we should understand all things that happened to us are due to action fr our past lives. Karma is a very fair law, what you do now, the effect will bounced back to you in the future. There is no escape. Therefore, we need to be mindful with our action now. We plant apple seed, to get apple tree, we will not get strawberry.

pinecone

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #25 on: July 24, 2014, 01:37:27 AM »
Quote
“Forgive and forget those what has hurt you in the past but never forget what it has taught you”

As a Buddhist, we were always taught and reminded pertaining to the cause and effect of karma . Rejoice for the  mother who has forgive the man who has murdered her daughter because she knew that if she insisted in pursuing the prosecution against the murderer , there is no way to turn back the clock and her daughter will not be back to life . Thus, it’s even very difficult for her to move on and cope with the coming days if the hatred and revengeful thoughts instilled in her. Therefore, with a proper understanding of how the karma works, one will be able to be less attached and be able to let go easily.

MoMo

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #26 on: September 14, 2014, 01:33:36 PM »
Wow! Powerful message here being demonstrated by this brave mother! Forgiving is equal to letting go. Letting go of the emotional trauma that festered inside of us, it is only through  ourselves that when we truly and sincerely wish to heal from these emotional pains. Seeing that another man being hang for the crime that he committed does not bring back the son she lost. By forgiving, we are letting the pain inside to come out so that it has no place to hide, then only the true healing process could start.

eyesoftara

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #27 on: September 19, 2014, 07:05:20 AM »
What is more powerful than forgiveness. We are overwhelm by this example, because the murder of a loved one is involved; but with due respect, the same person that can forgive the a murderer of a loved one can easily not forgive a simpler act of say some hurtful speech by a friend. My point is that forgiveness can be practice by everyone as renunciation on a daily basic, 24/7, 365 days a year as a powerful practice to enlightenment and lasting happiness. Hence, we can forgive everything sundry or great with the motivation that others are more important than us and that ultimately we are the one happier and benefit more in these acts of forgiveness.

angelsherfield

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #28 on: September 21, 2014, 04:02:22 PM »
Forgiveness is the only way for us to heal and move on in life. It is touch when watching the video of the father forgive the murderer of his child. It is not easy as the father also suffer or painful for the lost of his child. Incident has happended and it cannot be reversed. If the father choose to be angry and revenge, the karma will be created and may affect next life.

fruven

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Re: FORGIVENESS is the only way to heal...
« Reply #29 on: September 21, 2014, 07:37:48 PM »
WOW. Very powerful videos indeed. How amazing it is to forgive. How empowering it is to forgive. How compassionate it is to forgive. What is the point of holding on to hate when the act has already passed. What we create in the moment is what we can take with us. Hence to forgive not only helps us but helps the culprit to.

We all need forgiveness and the only way to receive it is to give it. Very powerful message. Thank you DS Star!

Yes it is empowering. Forgiveness is one of those hardest things to do. The father is giving positive reinforcement to this serial killer that by the confession of his guilt that it is a virtue, the right thing to do although it doesn't he isn't free of his punishment. I think all the people in the court that day also receive a very strong lesson on compassion that forgives.