Author Topic: Being spiritual?  (Read 4935 times)

Jessie Fong

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Being spiritual?
« on: March 02, 2013, 12:44:58 PM »

They say "It is easier said than done" ... Does that mean I am not spiritual if I cannot find it in my hear to forgive?


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nancy-colier/toxic-relationships_b_2758794.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular,buddhism


Many people believe that in order to be "spiritual" they need to:

*Be able to open their heart to the people who have done them harm.
*No longer experience a negative reaction in their company.

I am often asked,
"What is wrong with me that I can't feel open, loving and calm in this person's presence?"
"Isn't being spiritual about being able to love the person who hurt me?"
"Isn't forgiveness the essence of spirituality?"

Firstly, the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You don't choose it. It is not an indicator of your spiritual maturity, nor a gauge of your growth in life or in relationship to the trauma. In many cases, no amount of psychological or spiritual work will change your body's chemical response to the person who inflicted harm; it is hard-wired into your biology, an aspect of survival. That said, the first thing to take off your plate is the idea that you "should" be able to feel good in their company. Any notion that a negative physical response makes you un-spiritual or un-evolved is, quite simply, hogwash.

Secondly, being able to "open your heart" to someone who has caused you tremendous pain is also not a test of your spirituality. Many people deliberately put themselves in company with family and "friends" who are profoundly painful for them to be with -- in an effort to develop forgiveness or compassion -- and because they feel they "should." And yet, if your heart is not open, and the desire to be with this other is not emanating from a place of true compassion, it does you no spiritual good to do what you "should." Pushing harder does not create more compassion. Like getting through a grueling spin class, there is a sense of accomplishment, of being able to stay in the room without collapsing or fleeing, but this is not the same thing as spiritual growth.

The choice to exclude a person or experience from your life can be the more compassionate choice -- for yourself. And indeed, when your heart opens to your own suffering, and your own well-being, that compassion for yourself can open wide enough to include even the one who caused you suffering. But this is something that your heart will tell you -- not something that your mind can decide or force.

Spirituality is not a test. Being spiritual is about being with what is. If you feel toxic when in the company of someone who has hurt you, then you earn no spiritual points by forcing yourself to be there, and enduring that toxicity. We behave with spirit when we accept our experience the way it is. Deciding to not be with someone who makes you feel terrible, even if that person is your family or "friend," is an act of courage -- honoring yourself and the truth.

Trust your heart; if it is ready to embrace someone who has harmed you, it will open, without force. Indeed, by giving yourself permission to say "no," to follow your truth, you are offering yourself the only real chance you have to genuinely want to be with them, at some time. Without permission to say "no," we cannot find the authentic desire to say "yes." And if that desire never comes, that too is as spiritual a path as any other.

Spirituality is not about becoming the person that you are supposed to be -- not about doing the "spiritual" thing. To be spiritual is to compassionately welcome your truth -- what you actually feel -- whether you like that truth or not. To be spiritual is to stop trying to be a more spiritual and open-hearted version of yourself, and instead, to open your heart without judgment to who and how you actually are. Perhaps the hardest task of all, being spiritual is about letting yourself -- and what is so -- be.

buddhalovely

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Re: Being spiritual?
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2013, 01:29:32 PM »
If you seek yourself inside of pain that creates an ego inside you, aren't you more or less no where near spirituality? You don't seek yourself and your love inside of what others do, you seek inside yourself to embrace the love that is you. If you carry a condition of something someone did to you to think to create the emotional response as painful, do you ever realize that the time has passed?

You accept the present moment more fully when you let go of attachment of what was and what will be in the future. Your being will not stop to exist because you chose to forgive someone. You chose to forgive in all moments to be beyond the place of egoic thoughts and consequences. Not to be stuck in the one that happen to you long ago or even the one that keeps you in bondage of yourself to never experience yourself the way you should in this moment. You are fully able to be inside yourself to forgive yourself for missing the present moment and not in a thought process as a victim of something that was. There is no truth in past moments only this one you are experiencing right now!

RedLantern

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Re: Being spiritual?
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2013, 12:13:11 PM »
Being spiritual is having a conscious awareness of both the physical and the invisible dimension,while the non spiritual is only aware of the physical domain.
By being spiritual ,we allow ourselves the options of being multi-sensory,hence a whole new world opens up.
"the experiences of the multi-sensory human are less limited than the experiences of the five sensory human.
They provide more opportunities for growth and development and more opportunities to avoid unnecessary difficulties"(Gary Zukav)
To focus on empowering oneself and others to higher and higher levels of unconsciousness and achievement.
Do not define another by judgements and do not get tied up with hatred.Being spiritual is a choice.We do not have to adopt any specific religion,tenets or undergo a religious transformation.

apprenticehealer

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Re: Being spiritual?
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2013, 11:01:08 AM »
All of us are born with 4 'bodies' - the physical, the mental, the emotional and the spiritual.
The spiritual body is also known as our higher consciousness. It is this 'body' that governs and guides our emotional and mental bodies and hence the last manifestation, into the physical through our actions and our speech.
Though the spiritual body is innate in us, i think it also depends a lot on the karma of our past lives. Whether we have the seed of compassion, forgiveness, loving kindness, humility, generosity implanted within us , to nurture the spiritual side of us.
A lot of people get mistaken between being religious and being spiritual. One can be on the outside, a very religious person but deep inside, is really not a good man. The outwardly religious side is for the world to see and praise, but inwardly , his spiritual side is suffering by not being what it was truly supposed to be.

dsiluvu

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Re: Being spiritual?
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2013, 08:24:34 PM »
Interesting topic here about being spiritual... well I guess there is a lot of different perspectives on what is being spiritual... but there is definitely one pervasive thought of truth that has been talked, taught, preached and practiced for the longest time and what I have been hearing since young up until this present day... spirituality is about practicing loving kindness towards oneself and others...  And yes you start with those closest to you, those that irritate you on a daily basis and yes those that have hurt you, you forgive.

Forgive does not necessary mean "forget" and being forgiving and kind does not mean without "wisdom". Hence why Buddhism is seen as the best way of having a spiritual life for it is with logic and compassion you combine, that you find the right methods or antidote to deal with you many ego, attachments and negative emotions such as anger. One thing is for sure... no one wants to experience pain and suffering AND no one wants this I am sure.

To me being spiritual is not about how many mantras you chant, how many prostrations you do, or how many empowerment you got. Being spiritual to me is yes forgiving one's enermy and with wisdom... you have learned your lesson and be more aware and moving forward to cutting down on your attachments... For example, if you cannot stand being wrong, or do not like to take responsibilities... one should do the opposite.   Slowly but surely it will become second nature...

Tenzin K

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Re: Being spiritual?
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2013, 04:09:57 PM »
Spirituality receives much attention in the West in the recent years because of its relationship to health, both physical and mental being. Recently spirituality, religion and person beliefs are regarded as important components of quality of life.

Spirituality in some way is like ‘Buddha nature’, there are four interrelated factors.
1)   A relationship with the transcendent, generally seen as both immanent and transcendental. This relationship is focused on trust surrender and for Sufis, submission
2)    A practice, either regular meditation or some type of prayer.
3)   A physical practice to transform or harmonize the body (i.e yoga, tai chi kung & etc)
4)   Social – a relationship with the community, global or local, a caring for others.