Connected karma

[jessicajameson]

I understand that we born into families whom we have karmic connections with, but I heard that how we are on Earth also affects our family's karmically.

Like if we were good human beings, our mother collects merits... how is that possible?

Whatever we do, doesn't it just affect ourselves? Like don't we create our own negative karma and have to purify our own negative karma?

[Manjushri]

Interesting question, JessicaJameson.

If we are good human beings, our mothers collect merits because they gave birth to us, giving us the opportunity to do good for others and to lead a good and beneficial life. Therefore, without them, we wouldn't have that opportunity to do so, so indirectly, the merits that we collect will also go back to our mothers.

Using the same logic, if we do bad, I am assuming also the negative karma that we collect would indirectly and partially go back to our mothers/parents.

Therefore based on that, anyone who walks a spiritual path should be mindful of their own actions for it has consequences and effects on our parents themselves.

But what do others think? If we do bad, does the negative karma accrued also impact our parents? I'm not sure on this but am basing it purely on what I said above.

[Aurore]

From my understanding, we are born into a family who can either enhance our negative karma or help us create positive karma depending on our previous life karma. We are probably born into a family which have similar characteristics as us, same aspirations, same karma.

I do think that whatever we do, we are the ones who collects the negative and positive karma. The Buddhist scriptures says, "Do good deeds and you reap rewards. Do evil deeds and you reap misfortune." In other words, each one is responsible for one's own actions. It is also possible like what Manjushri said, the reason when we do negative actions, the cause of the negative action is because our parents did not bring us up well. On the other hand, it is also our own negative karma to be born to parents of such nature.

How I think that our parents can benefits from the good deeds we do is when we dedicate the virtuous actions we accumulated to them that one day they will also meet the dharma and practice. Like what Buddha Shakyamuni did after he was Enlightened was to go to the desire god realm called Land of the Thirty-three Heavens to teach her dharma thus bringing his mother to Enlightenment.

The least we can do now since we are not Enlightened is to dedicate merits and to propitiate dharma protectors such as Dorje Shugden who is able to bring our parents and us to a good rebirth.

[negra orquida]

Like if we were good human beings, our mother collects merits... how is that possible?

I'm not sure if our mothers/parents would automatically collect merit if we do normal good deeds the usual/secular way, without thinking how our actions affect our parents in a karma / merit sense.

However I'm sure if we consciously dedicated the merits arising from our virtuous actions to our parents, they will receive it.  In countries with mass Buddhist consciousness such as Thailand and Myanmar, parents would be very happy if their son becomes an ordained monk as they understand the benefits of it.  It is considered the supreme way to repay the kindness of one's parents.  Here is an interesting article of a son who became ordained and realised how this would benefit his parents: http://meditation.dmc.tv/peace/Ordaining-for-One-s-Parents-Brings-Merit.html

Using the same logic, if we do bad, I am assuming also the negative karma that we collect would indirectly and partially go back to our mothers/parents.

Hmm this makes me feel very scared to have children! It seems really onerous that our parents would get "punished" for whatever shenanigans we do. The connection is more straightforward if our parents had deliberately taught/trained us to be bad people.  I don't think the karma arising from our negative actions would directly "go to" our parents.  But our negative actions could be a trigger to our parents to create negative karma for themselves, if they reacted to our actions in a negative way (e.g. punch us in anger).

[sonamdhargey]

I believe that our mother will not gain merits automatically from our good deeds as if that's the case, then our mother will gain our negative karma from our negative actions. Our Mother can gain merits through our good deeds if we dedicate our merits to them. However some culture do believe in the connection of the karmic consequences are directly related between parents and children. The negative karma created by a mother will reflect on her children and  vice versa. Is this true?

[Q]

Yeah... I suppose we are karmically connected to the family we're born into. Not only family, but our current friends too are somehow karmically connected to us.

When it comes to Karma, there is several levels to it. Very complex and yet somehow, we kinda understand it although I find it very difficult to explain it clearly in words.

Being involved in spirituality and ACTUALLY practicing it will give positive effects to our family, and also all those who associate to us closely. Family ofcourse is directly involved in a way that, they have brought us to this world, taken care of us to the stage where we can practice Dharma. Therefore, they collect good merits when we practice the Dharma sincerely to benefit all beings.

It is just like contributing to a Dharma centre materially or with our effort... if we donate to the construction of a Dharma centre, we gain merits because once the centre is functional, many people will come to benefit from it. So just like children, taken care by their parents... once they are older and able to practice the Dharma to benefit others, those that have put in their effort to care for him/her will gain merits.

I believe whatever we do, do not affect ourselves only... everything has it reprecussions be it positive or negative. When we are spiritual, people around us will definitely be affected... and when their karma for accepting spirituality comes, we can be sort of like the trigger to this past imprints of theirs (I think).

But like you said, people do need to purify their own negative karma, no one can do that for them, not even the Buddhas.

[Positive Change]

Could we also say that we instinctively dedicate our positive results to our loved ones, spouse, mother, father, children???

Like if it was a naturally occurring kind of dedication. Simply because we love them (even if with attachment), because we care for them, because we want them safe.

A connection that we need to force ourselves in when we extend a dedication prayer towards all sentient beings.

My 2 cents worth of reflection...

[tsangpakarpo]

I would say we are karmically connected with all sentient beings. One way or another we were connected before.

But as for your question, I would say the way our parents brought us up can influence their collection of merits and negative karma. Let's say I am now a grown man who does good deeds always, all thanks to the teachings of my parents. Then of course my parents will collect great amount of merits because they taught me to be a good person to do charity and to practice the Dharma. But instead, if my parents trained me to become a terrorist, they would also collect negative karma won't they?

Or lets say, my parents abandoned me when I was a child and I had to beg and rob and steal to make end meets. All these that I do is because of my parents. They left me to rot while I was a child, so of course they will collect negative karma as well.

If we are good humans because our mothers brought us up well, I would definitely think our mothers collect merits.

Whatever is it, I personally believe it all boils down to our motivation. If we have a child because we want him/her to replace our roles as criminals then obviously we'll collect LOTS OF NEGATIVE KARMA. But if have a child for positive reasons like training them up to be a good person who does charity, practice Dharma, be a monk/nun then yes we'll collect tremendous merits.

[negra orquida]

To add on to what i said earlier.. i think that even if we did very meritorious things, if our parents cannot rejoice on the good deeds we have done, they could even create negative karma.  For example, if we became a monk/nun or do Dharma work as opposed to what our parents wanted us to do for a "normal career", and our parents keep criticising Buddha/Buddhism/the teacher or try to stop us from learning Dharma, they would incur negative karma.

So it seems that whether our good or bad actions result in our parents collecting positive or negative karma would depend on our parents' reaction towards our actions.  Hence what jessicajameson said

Like don't we create our own negative karma and have to purify our own negative karma?

Ultimately our parents create their own karma, which affects how they perceive and experience life. But our connection with them as their child would create a bigger trigger and effect in them compared to other people who are not their child in this life.

[kurava]

Results of an action can only experienced by the doer. However, others' response or reaction such as jealousy, aversion, rejoicing etc. to our action will trigger off negative or positive chains of actions and experiences in them.

When we do our purification practice, we are to confess and feel regretful of rejoicing in others' negative deeds. Meaning - even if we did not engage in a negative action but upon seeing others committing the action , we feel happy or rejoice  that such negative actions were done onto others and causing harm to others, we too collect negative results .

Similarly, if we can collect demerits by rejoicing in others' non virtues , we definitely will also collect positive results if we rejoice in others' virtuous actions such as doing dharma,  helping others to overcome hardships ,taking ordination vows etc.

Therefore , it is important we explain to and educate our loved ones patiently and skilfully why we embark on the spiritual path so that they too will experience the merits we collect. If we really lack such skills , the least we could do is to dedicate the merits of our virtuous actions to them and to avoid direct confrontation with them.

My Guru always teaches us to continue to be patient, show loving kindness to our family even though they might not be supportive of our spiritual practice in the beginning. By our own example , slowly we will draw them closer to dharma upon seeing the results of dharma on us.

[Carpenter]

I understand that we born into families whom we have karmic connections with, but I heard that how we are on Earth also affects our family's karmically.

Like if we were good human beings, our mother collects merits... how is that possible?

Whatever we do, doesn't it just affect ourselves? Like don't we create our own negative karma and have to purify our own negative karma?

For my understanding, this is the same as Buddha statue, when we invited a Buddha statue, we offer it to the other person, and when he make offering to the buddha, we do collect merits as well. Because my action of this is planting the seed of Dharma into that person's mind.

Same as our mother, because of her, we are able to do some good things here, by benefiting the others. So with all these good deeeds we are doing, doesn't the credits goes to our mother? and of course, merits as well.

[Tenzin K]

The love relationships that we experience throughout our life are always karmic in nature. But not all past life relationships were happy ones, so when the connection is made between us, we have no idea whether this is a good or bad thing-only that we are drawn to them, like a magnet.
The Karma or energy between us needs to be rinsed clean, so we can then continue our mission, and rise above, to our true happiness in life. If we are not ready for this, we may stay in unhealthy relationships, for fear of being left alone, unhappy, never find someone else & the list goes on.

The experience of a "Karmic Relationship" is never supposed to be a lasting one-unless we enjoy arguments, unhappiness and resentments in your daily life. If we do not choose to embrace happiness, and find out where we wish to be in life, then we will remain in these type of relationships-or keep attracting them.
All the while, we may be wishing for a better life,but not willing to do any inner healing-or be true to ourself, or even know how or where to begin the healing.
This confusion can also lead us further into depression and worry, and so the cycle continues. We may even feel trapped, scared and unable to move forward. There is no easy way out of self growth. It is going to be up to us, what is acceptable.

[RedLantern]

In Buddhist theory of karma,the karmic effect of a deed is not determined solely by by the deed itself,but also by the nature of the person who commits the deed and by the circumstances in which it is committed.
Fascinating stuff to think about.Dig into this thinking a bit further and ask 'How can I work with the concept  of Dharma' Is there a operating manual somewhere?How can I learn to navigate a little better in this life?
Perhaps we are not at the mercy of the mind and the waves,Think for a moment about how we  perceive things.It's not hard to understand how our life experiences is defined by how we perceive things.How we relate to things generates our experience.

[ratanasutra]

Yes, we all have our own karma and create our own karma but how and which family we were born also have connected karma with us therefore whatever we do not just directly create karma to us directly but also to our own family. Hence if we did lot of good virtue actions, and collect a lot merit, those merit not only come to us alone but it will go over to people in our family too, this is apply to negative karma as well.

 

[Dolce Vita]

Why we are born to our parents, that is for sure because of some karmic connection. Nothing is coincidence, cause and effect, remember?

Whatever actions we have taken, we have to be responsible for it, no one else. When we collect merits, we dedicate the merits to our mothers, they can receive some percentage of it but not all. When our create negative karma, it will not affect our mothers. But when our negative karma ripens, for example we are very sick,  she will suffer as well, that was due to her own karma to have us as their children.