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General Buddhism => General Buddhism => Topic started by: Jessie Fong on July 21, 2012, 11:53:24 AM
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I chanced upon the following Zen story and wondered,if this was akin to a silent retreat, the action of one person triggered off the rest to break their silence. Kind of domino effect.
Is this a case of not practising awareness?
Where is the group support of helping each other to observe the seven days of silence?
If you were part of such a group, how would you help the others to complete their promise?
Learning to Be Silent
The pupils of the Tendai school used to study meditation before Zen entered Japan. Four of them who were intimate friends promised one another to observe seven days of silence.
On the first day all were silent. Their meditation had begun auspiciously, but when night came and the oil lamps were growing dim one of the pupils could not help exclaiming to a servant: "Fix those lamps."
The second pupils was surprised to hear the first one talk. "We are not supposed to say a word," he remarked.
"You two are stupid. Why did you talk?" asked the third.
"I am the only one who has not talked," concluded the fourth pupil.
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LOL. What a funny story!
Yes, its is definitely practicing mindfulness. How mindful we are with everything around us show us the results of learning and practicing it. For example, practicing not getting angry. I remind myself every time before I open my mouth and say something hurtful and unkind.
They can probably write some notice, paste it around them to remind them if they find it hard. I will use papers, pen, boards and chalks that will definitely help communicate should there be a need to do say something urgent. Before going into retreat, maybe they can have some sort of agreement, eg if someone break the retreat, they have to do multiply and do more or something that will cause them to be reminded.
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Hahaha...this reminds me of a camp that I have participated many years ago where 20 participants in all were told not to talk or to break our silence when we were together or in a same room. Well, at that point of time we do not understand why the Teacher instructed us to do just that when our session ended the first night. Moreover, 20 of us were all assigned to one big room to rest and sleep! Well, many of us broke our silence cause when one started it all starts to comment! This shows how our mind works out of habituation and not discipline enough to do just what our Teacher has instructed!
To be in such a group support is important. It is important to have one or few stronger mind member in the group to set example for all to follow. Alternatively, all could start off to remind each other of not to break silence by carrying a board with them for communication purpose as what was suggested by bambi.
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Surely these 4 people are not aware of what they have started on i.e. silent days. If they are committed, then they should be aware and conscious of their actions. Maybe their habit has been so ingrained in them that they do it automatically and could not control themselves.
They group should help each other by either tapping one each other or putting up signs on the wall to remind each other. If someone breaks their silence, instead of commenting on it, they should just tap and make hand gestures to the person so that they themselves do not break their promise.
I think this story which is light to read but it does impact the reader to be more aware of their actions. Thank you for sharing.
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hehehe... I think this story is reflect our mind that apart from not mind fullness, still have ego want to be right by breaking the agreement to blame other in order to let everyone know that i am the best, how silly is it..
The group support is very importance for all type of practice, if the person is breaking the rule of that particular practice and we know about it but ignore and not mention it, it is same as we support and encourage them to break the rule which cause the damage as the result.
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This story is really funny yet it is very real...
In our daily lives, we will notice other people's mistakes but not aware of our own mistakes... Our awareness is very much influenced by own ego as well... we are not forgiving when same mistake done by others but when we are the one who did it, we will give ourselves excuses, 'reasons'...
Awareness is actually a reflection of our own mind...
You are awareness. Awareness is another name for you. Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate it. All that you have to do is to give up being aware of other things, that is of the not-Self. If one gives up being aware of them then pure awareness alone remains, and that is the Self. - Ramana Maharshi
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Thanks Jessie Fong for sharing the story.
We should always check our motivation for every word we speak. Buddhism is not just about praying and following all the stated rules; it's how about how much you apply compassion and wisdom to our life.
When there's necessary to speak, when our words might save or help somebody, we should always speak for the sake of benefiting another beings. If we speak to put down other people, to protect ourselves so we don't get into trouble; then we better be silent.
I think the 4th pupil almost can make it, but to let others know that he is the one who is better, this has already brought him down to the lowest spiritual level among all the pupils.
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The aim of embarking on a silent retreat is to curb idle chatter or what is referred to sometimes as "unprofitable talk". Idle talk prevents one from being mindful.
There is a list of idle talk in the Digha Nikaya, iii, 36-7. It is the story of the Band of Six who had the habit of rising up in the night before dawn and donning wooden slippers, parade up and down in the open air, chattering in shrill loud tones, hawking and spitting, and talking all manner of idle babble, such as: talk about kings and robbers and ministers of state; talk about armies and of fear, tales of fights; talk about food, drink, clothes, beds, lodgings, flower-garlands, scents, kinsfolk, and carriages; about villages, suburbs, towns, provinces, women, and soldiers; gossip of the streets and wells, and tales of ghosts; all sorts of talk; about the world and the Ocean; of things existent and non-existent. And while so doing they trampled to death all sorts of insects. Moreover, they distracted the brethren from their meditation.
(N.B. The Band of Six were later expelled from the Order)
The antidote to idle chatter is of course "right talk" or the Aryan Speech. The Aryan is "a wise man, fain of speech, He knows the proper time, and speech concerned with righteousness and practice of right talk."
(Anguttara Nikaya, i, 199)
To counter idle chatter, one can go on a silent retreat, or better still, practice "the Aryan Silence". The Aryan silence is a method to suppress discursive thought. It is "a state of internal calm of heart, concentrated on its object, born of mental balance, a state of zest and ease".
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These four students have broken the fundamental rule of observing silence i.e. not to speak! These students are also not maintaining their mindfulness and concentration of their minds. The first student was distracted by the broken lamp whereas the other three were completely not mindful of their reactions. If I was part of this group, I will make sure I do not talk at all during the 7-day retreat no matter what happens. I will wear a big tag on my shirt to inform and remind others that I am in silent-retreat and request others to abide by all the agreed boundaries and rules. Others must not to speak to us during our retreat. There are exceptions to the rule when the situations demand us to speak up.
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Learning to Be Silent
On the first day all were silent. Their meditation had begun auspiciously, but when night came and the oil lamps were growing dim one of the pupils could not help exclaiming to a servant: "Fix those lamps."
The second pupils was surprised to hear the first one talk. "We are not supposed to say a word," he remarked.
"You two are stupid. Why did you talk?" asked the third.
"I am the only one who has not talked," concluded the fourth pupil.
They all spoke on impulse. The 1st can't help but order people around, the 2nd was silly to provide a vocal remark instead of gesturing, the 3rd is arrogant and want to scold others, the 4th is egotistical and wanted recognition.
Illustrates how each of us keeps one another in this cyclic existence. In a group of "weak-minded" people, one brings down one another. It is a good example as to why if one wants to practice Buddhism, it is "easier" to do so in the monastery or a Dharma center.
Like trying to kick off a drug habit is easier to do so in a rehab facility than being surrounded by fellow drug addicts.
Thanks for the story Jessie Fong! :)
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Haha this story may sound funny, but it is true how our mind works. It reflects on how well we can be mindful. Speech and action arise from thought so we should be mindful and aware to watch our thoughts.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” Buddha
As in the case of these four pupils, they have broken their silent retreat as they couldn’t control their mind and their ego. If the first pupil is aware that they were not supposed to talk, she could have showed some signs /gestures to highlight the dimness. Another alternative is to write on a piece of paper. The second one is as unmindful as the first one, the third one is arrogant and the fourth one is the silliest of all due to her ego.
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Thank you for sharing the story. Being in a silent retreat is not easy but if with stable/control conscious mind one can keep silent for sometime even when people starts to irritates me.
Sometimes after every prayer I try not to speak for like 5 minutes and stretch as much up to 30 minutes or longer not to talk. But I also notice altho I don't talk my mind at times is talking. Like why this person do like this or that ... something that may have irritate me or distract me and I started talking... I'll try to do this as often as an exercise. Is also to learn how to listen to others. Sometimes I talk non stop but these days I just pause so that someone else can talk. Talk to benefit rather then talk to hurt or rubbish talk. If I got nothing to say I just keep quiet but at times it is mistaken as a way of getting back. So sometimes I'm confused too when that happens. But I'm sure there are reason there for every happenings maybe I just have not grasp the reason for it.
For those of you out there doing silent retreat happy retreat.
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A complete lack of concentration and awareness, and an act of impulse to react back. Shows how fast we jump on one another, and our need to have our say to get recognized. I like Jessica Jameson's analogy, it is so true!
They had to make a point hence broke their silence, but little did they realise that by staying silent, it would've been most powerful. Opening our mouth is so second nature and taken for granted, and this story totally highlights that nothing pleasant comes from our speech most of the time. It shows that the silent retreat was not taken seriously by the 4 parties, and how we can influence each other to something negative all the time. That's why we never improve, because most individuals operate from the basis of 'I'. If I were part of the group, I would've most probably opened my mouth too and go "SHHHH", which would mean that I've broken my retreat too.
I think for us, the best measure would acutally be to put tape across our mouth, so that it REMINDS us that we are on silent retreat even if we wanted to speak. We too often forget what we ought to do.
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I chanced upon the following Zen story and wondered,if this was akin to a silent retreat, the action of one person triggered off the rest to break their silence. Kind of domino effect.
Is this a case of not practising awareness?
Where is the group support of helping each other to observe the seven days of silence?
If you were part of such a group, how would you help the others to complete their promise?
Learning to Be Silent
The pupils of the Tendai school used to study meditation before Zen entered Japan. Four of them who were intimate friends promised one another to observe seven days of silence.
On the first day all were silent. Their meditation had begun auspiciously, but when night came and the oil lamps were growing dim one of the pupils could not help exclaiming to a servant: "Fix those lamps."
The second pupils was surprised to hear the first one talk. "We are not supposed to say a word," he remarked.
"You two are stupid. Why did you talk?" asked the third.
"I am the only one who has not talked," concluded the fourth pupil.
Hahaha ;D
The first pupil feels the need to alert someone to fix the lamp. The others should be silent. The motivation of second, third, and fourth of retreat are not for themselves. Second and third could have controlling behaviour where 'I want everyone to be the same as me', and the fourth is 'I am better than you guys'.
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You can only truly help others when you have become the master of your mind, free of false illusions. Many people feel that just because they have the urge to help they are able to help. Unless you really know what your true identity is, which is not your ego, you will only be trying to offer help from something that is an illusion.
The beauty of proper meditation is that it helps you create immense distance in your inner space. It gives you perspective, your level of consciousness changes. It helps you create distance between your thoughts and the witness who watches your thoughts.
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Reading through this post again reminds me of a story I heard many years ago :
3 sisters went out on a group date. Their mum warned them not to open their mouths, for their own sake. The evening went on fine: they kept quiet, nodded or shook their heads in answers.
They went for a stroll after their lovely dinner and came across a very tall and unusual flag post.
1st sister : Wow!!! I .. have .. never .. seen .. such .. an .. unique .. flag .. post. (stutters)
2nd sister : Mum told uth to keepth ourth mouths shut. (lisping)
3rd sister : Luckily, I did not say anything!!! (croaking)
*Faint*
You see : all of them had a "flaw" so to speak and were warned not to speak, lest their dates found out
and would not want to get serious with them.
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This is kinda funny for me. What i take from this story is to practice full awareness. The second and third speaker who spoke did not practice awareness totally and have the desire to win so much that they thought they have won. The forth speaker is the one who practiced true awareness. The first two who spoke acted too fast (due to lack of awareness and being too excited with the game. They thought they have found a loser in this game but in the end it was the forth guy who remained silent till the end and won.
For me, practicing silence is also a way to develop the awareness and it gives the person to think a little bit more by reflecting on a particular situation. It is also a good way to to bring down ones ego.
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LOL what a simple funny story but knowing the error of talking while in a silent retreat or meditation shows a complete lack of awareness and mindfulness, the joke is on all of us.
It is so often that we will forget our intention and motivation when something seem goes wrong (like the light going dim) then we will grasp at something we are used to and for the other 3 students definitely their ego was in play and they were unable to stop the breaking of the intention.
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Despite distractions from outer side of the world, there are also distractions within us in different forms such as, negative thoughts, stress, anxiety, responsibilities , emotions that have not been dealt with, feeling haunted by past mistakes, failures, etc. and they keep you from knowing and connecting to our true self. It has never been easy to engage in a silent retreat but this is to train our mind to be more mindful and aware of our daily speech and action?
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Very true, silent retreats especially in groups is not easy as we are so used to chattering. Mindfulness and awareness will help. The motivation of mindfulness must be kept every moment.
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Some of us love to be heard; loves to have a say in everything; loves to have the last say. All these bad habits stem from a big ego. Hence when learning to be silent we are learning to subdue the ego. This is definitely good because most of our sufferings stem from the ego. If we can eliminate ego and practice equality and equanimity we would definitely be happier people.
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I just want to share my experience on observing silence.
I attended a retreat and we are required to observing silence during our break. I think the silence only observed for first day, on 2nd day, we broke silence cos many of us are newbies to retreat and we have lots of thing unsure about the retreat and would like to know the answer. In the end we agreed to talk about dharma and about the retreat only. No idle chatter.
To observe silence in a group is not easy. Every member of the group have to follow strictly, if one broke the silence, others will follow.
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This is a good story and funny as well. If it was me, I would continue to stay in silence. Let the person talk as much as he or she wants. If no one responds, he will eventually get the hint and stay quiet. Always looking for others to support us may not serve us ultimately because we are dependent on others in order to achieve our goals. This may be a backdoor for someone who usually doesn't take responsibility and looking for an excuse to fail. This is because success requires a lot of effort.
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Hahaha, this was a funny story to read!
This story demonstrates that the pupils weren't being very mindful when one of them started a conversation. The pupils were mindful enough to not talk for the whole day as nothing of much discussion happened but as night fell and the oil lamps needed to be refilled, that was when they broke their silence.
In my opinion, the reason the first pupil broke his silence in the first place was because he like all of us are used to living a pampered life with light and electricity and when we don't have access to that we tend to react in a manner like how the first pupil did.
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A simple story in a few lines but so much for us to learn from.
Being in a silent retreat is to help us to be mindful of our thoughts and how we are being controlled by it in all that we say or do. If we do not manage our mind, we will react to whatever thoughts arised. The story demonstrated that perfectly.
I have attended a silent retreat in a group myself. Everyone was serious about it, so some of us basically avoided to sit with each other in the beginning. But as it went, it became very natural to feel fine not to do the usual polite gesture. The funny thing was, it felt alright not to have to carry the social norm like initiating a conversation to be seen polite. The usual gesture of smiling and nodding when you met a person was totally unnecessary during the retreat. It made me realise how much we were conditioned to do the expected by the society... but when the rules were changed, everything changed.
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Our habits are very strong. Talking is something we do so much in a day that it is very difficult to stop it. In a group or when we engage with others we need to be mindful to stop to react. Yet as we are social beings, we tend even to communicate with our body, facial expression and our eyes. Silence is therefore not easy.
When we have a clear goal and know the benefit of such an exercise, it will be easier to control ourselves and our actions. From being silent, it is also easier for us to observe our mind.