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General Buddhism => General Buddhism => Topic started by: Klein on December 01, 2011, 02:09:21 PM
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When a person is dying what can we do? When a person is dead, what can we do? Do we chant Dorje Shugden's mantra or are there other mantras that are more suitable?
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This is what I remember from an explanation in a Dharma Centre.
When a person is dying, we should chant DS mantra to the person or if the person is not in an unconscious state, we should ask the person to recite in their heart the DS mantra or to visualise DS. This is so that we can invoke DS and be able to help the person to get a good rebirth.
It has been said that when we invoke DS, a monk will lead the person to the next rebirth in the bardo.
When someone is dead, the mind stream is still in the body and will slowly leave the body. We would want the mind to leave from the top of the head where the crown is. In order to do that, we can help by stimulating the crown of the head by either pulling some hair or lightly scratch it. We would not want to touch or stimulate any other part of the body because we do not want the mind to leave from anywhere else except the crown. If the mind leaves below the waist, then it would mean rebirth in the 3 lower realms.
If we have protector rice, then we should put a grain into the mouth of the deceased. Blessed water is also possible.
We can also put a dharma text on the top of the head of the deceased like Vajra Yogini text or the Lamrim so that the deceased will have dharma in their next rebirth.
The other people can chant DS mantra or Medicine Buddha mantra or the easiest is On Mani Padme Hung. The family members should recite Om Mani Padme Hung for 1000 times each day for at least 7 days and dedicate to the deceased.
I hope someone can correct me my information is not correct in any way. Thanks.
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Thank you Galen for the clear explanation, the post help me understand more in dying.
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When someone is dead, the mind stream is still in the body and will slowly leave the body. We would want the mind to leave from the top of the head where the crown is. In order to do that, we can help by stimulating the crown of the head by either pulling some hair or lightly scratch it. We would not want to touch or stimulate any other part of the body because we do not want the mind to leave from anywhere else except the crown. If the mind leaves below the waist, then it would mean rebirth in the 3 lower realms.
If we have protector rice, then we should put a grain into the mouth of the deceased. Blessed water is also possible.
We can also put a dharma text on the top of the head of the deceased like Vajra Yogini text or the Lamrim so that the deceased will have dharma in their next rebirth.
The other people can chant DS mantra or Medicine Buddha mantra or the easiest is On Mani Padme Hung. The family members should recite Om Mani Padme Hung for 1000 times each day for at least 7 days and dedicate to the deceased.
Yes, that is correct. Besides, if you don't have protector rice, you also can put the "Mani Pills" into the mouth of the deceased. You also can use "Mani Pills" mixed with the water and clean for deceased's body (to bless the body). While you rub the body, you can chant the Medicine Buddha mantra and blow to to deceased's body.
While pulling some hair or lightly scratch it, we should say something good to the deceased or remind them that the body no longer belongs to them anymore as they passed away. According to what my senior told me, some people died in sudden, they might don't even know they already dead and they still stay in the body and attach to the body. Too added, during the funeral, relatives of the deceased are not advised to cry around the deceased this will disturb the deceased's mind to go for the next rebirth.
Yes, this 3 mantras are normally what ppl chant - DS mantra or Medicine Buddha mantra or Om Mani Padme Hung. It also depends which mantra the relatives of the deceased more familiar with. Last time i was advised to chant 10malas each day for 49days. During this 49days, i also make candle offering as well to dedicate the deceased take a good rebirth very soon in where there have a Dharma.
If some informations is not correct please correct me also. Thank you :)
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Explanations by Galen and Ngawang Drakpa were exactly what I was advised to do the last time when a very close relative passed away. Also to chant either any of the 3 mantras whichever, one is familiar or comfortable with for 49 days along with light offerings and dedicate to deceased's quick rebirth to be with dharma in his or her next rebirth.
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Thank you all for the input and detailed explanation! It is so true that we live in preparation of dying.
As long as we are still trapped in the samsaric cycle, we have to go thru rebirths after rebirths and learning 'how to die' is just as important as learning 'how to live'
Let's put every minute of our live to benefit others and make sure we know hhat to do when facing death.
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In addition to not crying around the deceased, we can also talk to the deceased. I was told that the deceased should be told that they should leave peacefully and that everything was fine. Ideally, the person speaking should be one of the loved ones of the deceased or whoever has the closest connection to him or her. This is because the deceased is more likely to listen to their loved one. When we tell the deceased that everything is fine, please go in peace and be with Buddha or God or whoever the person prays too, then the soul or mind of the deceased will feel at peace. As Ngawang Drakpa said, if people around the deceased cry, the deceased will be disturbed and not feel at peace, worrying about the living. We could inadvertently create the karma for our loved one to reincarnate as a spirit too!
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The explanations by Galen and Ngawang Drakpa are correct and clear. I also agree with Wisdom Being that we should talk to the deceased and ideally someone closed to the deceased and whom the deceased will listen to. Especially to ensure the deceased that everything will be alright so that he/she will be at peace and let go and not cling on to the body, family or possession so that the next rebirth will be good.
I have witness a few deaths in my family who are all Buddhist and these are the usual procedures we follow. Also during the wake, the immediate family will recite prayers and mantras for the deceased.
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Yes, it is very important to let the dying person leave this life in as peaceful an environment as possible. Even when the person is pronounced as clinically dead i.e. no heart beat, we should still treat the dead person as 'alive' and with care.
When my mother died in the presence of a Hospice doctor, the doctor had kindly helped to wipe my mother's body and changed her clothes. Before the doctor did each action , she would whisper respectfully to my mom that : " Mdm XX, I'm going to wipe your face" or " bend your arm" etc.
As a person of science, this doctor was so aware and concerned about the feeling and sensitivity of the dead that she must had , through her own experience , been convinced that life /life force extends beyond the physical signals of life.
Seeing how the doctor performed the last 'ritual' for my mom was a spiritual awakening experience for me. I sincerely thank this kind doctor for helping my mother and myself.
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Prayers and chanting the mantra the person who is or has passed away, is familiar with is the best I think. I've recently experienced the death of my beloved who is extremely close to DS... and that is what I chanted the moment I saw him went and daily. The prayers can be done for the next 49days, (the bardo stage) and it is good to also take on a vegetarian vow in dedication to the deceased so he/she may take a good rebirth in a good body. These are perhaps the last few things one could do for the deceased.
However, I find the biggest challenge would be for the living, for those close to the deceased. It is the biggest lesson of impermanence when u personally experience someone you love go...
A death situation is also a huge precious lesson for the living. It's a lesson of how fragile this human life is and to never take it for granted and to never be too attached to it. It is a test of courage also to continue ones life and to not go in to depression but to have strength to move on. This is the the biggest testing time for us to check internally our Dharma practice, for us to actually practice what we've learnt literally.
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I am glad my Guru taught me much about Dying and Preparing for Death. Because of this, I was able to help a close friend's sister through her dying and her death.
Six months ago, my close friend (a Chinese lady)turned to me for spiritual advice regarding her 58 year old sister,in Australia, who had been diagnosed with fourth stage lung cancer. As both sisters had grown up seeing their mother pray daily to a statue of Guan Yin, I taught them both the mantra Om Mani Padme Hum. I gave the sister a statue of a standing Guan Yin, dressed in white, with a very sweet and serene smile on her face. My friend immediately went to be with her sister for a while, carrying the statue to her. So both sisters began to chant this mantra daily. On my part, I had also begun to pray to Dorje Shugden for her.
Her cancer spread very swiftly and by December, it had reached her brain, her bones and organs. Yet though her body must have been racked with pain, she remained calm and at peace throughout. A miracle? A week before she passed away, I skyped her and blew DS mantras on her.
When she started to drift in and out of consciousness, her sister and other sibblings who were many miles away from her, said their farewell to her by reciting Om Mani Padme Hum and they saw her on skype with her lips moving along with them ,reciting Om Mani...
Another miracle(must have been Dorje Shugden's interevention)? As she lay dying on a hospital bed, a Tibetan Buddhist nun appeared by her side to pray for her. A Rinpoche gave her Chenrezig blessings and conducted funeral rites for her afterwards!
So this lovely lady died in peace as she had been able to accept the fact that she was dying and to let go from the start.
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I remembered an advice by a monk that rather than going the usual way of crying or wallowing in sadness before a loved one who is dying , it is kinder to softly tell the dying person that ,' We are all fine and will take care of ourselves. It is ok to die '.
A big concern of a dying person is about the future well being of his/her family members after they are gone.If we express sadness , and other negative behaviour , it is sending the message to the dying person that we still need him/her. This will make it difficult for the dying person to leave peacefully. We should think about the dying person's concerns and reassure them rather than to express our own loss due to our attachment to them.
It is still a tricky advice to follow as it is not yet a society or cultural norm but more are finding this approach sensible and beneficial under such emotionally charged and sensitive moments.
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I remembered an advice by a monk that rather than going the usual way of crying or wallowing in sadness before a loved one who is dying , it is kinder to softly tell the dying person that ,' We are all fine and will take care of ourselves. It is ok to die '.
A big concern of a dying person is about the future well being of his/her family members after they are gone.If we express sadness , and other negative behaviour , it is sending the message to the dying person that we still need him/her. This will make it difficult for the dying person to leave peacefully. We should think about the dying person's concerns and reassure them rather than to express our own loss due to our attachment to them.
It is still a tricky advice to follow as it is not yet a society or cultural norm but more are finding this approach sensible and beneficial under such emotionally charged and sensitive moments.
What we see in movies is more like we are screaming at a loved one dying "Don't go", "You can't leave me now", "You must hang on, don't die on me!", "What will i do without you"...
Then as the person died, we cream out loud looking up to the sky, and cry and cry desperatly, helplessly...
This denotes complete ignorance of the dying process, of how karma works and can only be arising of the wrong view that existence equates our body.
With spiritual knowledge, we are better armed to face the deaths around and our own death too.
And we can act in helpful ways.
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Thank you Galen for the clear explanation, the post help me understand more in dying.
it is not according to buddha dharma to visualise DS. just chant the mantra will do.
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Thank you for the clear explaination form Galen.
i never came across dying process of human before so have no experience about it. Apart from Galen post also in the last minute of the dying person, we should also tell them to think about the virtuous actions they have done when they alive and rejoice about it..
After the death, the family also can offer up a buddha statue to the monk or temple and dedicate a merit to the person who past away.
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I agree with everyone here, and thank you very much for contributing. We should definitely use Dorje Shugden's power to help them take a better rebirth.
However this is highly dependent on the person's karma, if the person is the worst person ever (has harmed many in his life etc.) no matter how many DS mantra's we do. No matter what lam rim we put on his head, it will have little effect. One thing it will do is plant imprints in his mind for a future life, but he/she will still have to live out his/her negative karma.
One thing I have to the above points it that, if the person was not a Dorje Shugden practitioner, or not a buddhist for the matter. Then we should not chant DS mantra's. Instead we should chant whatever they believed in, in order not to offend them, so they don't get reborn in the spirit realm. For example instead of saying 'Dorje Shugden, Dorje Shugden, Dorje Shugden.' If the person was christian we should say 'Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ etc. Or recite a christian prayer. If we don't know any then try to not offend them by imposing another religion on them
Let me know how you feel.
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When a person is dying what can we do? When a person is dead, what can we do? Do we chant Dorje Shugden's mantra or are there other mantras that are more suitable?
In the event that there are no Sangha member present during the time of death of a person we love, the following can be done. I learned this from senior members in my Dharma center and it is very helpful.
Main thing is to have a Lamrim text. Place the Lamrim text on the person's head. During this, one can recite protector mantra or Om Mani Pedme Hung, which ever one is most familiar with.
Also, if we have consecrated water, drip it on the person's 5 senses - smell, taste, sight, hearing, forehead. If one has protector mani pill, it can be inserted in the mouth.
The behavior of the people around the place is also very important. Now at the time of death, we should not think about ourselves... of losing a person we care. But to focus on helping them to move on from this life to the next. So family and friends present should not cry, should not scream, weep, whatever that will cause the dying person's mind to be disturbed... dont do. It would be best if all present start reciting mantras, and those not of Buddhist believe, pray their own way. The people present should not touch the dying person's body either... especially at the legs, hands, etc... because it will distract the dying person's mind which may cause them to leave this body from the place they were touched. This is bad because if a person leave from the lower body... that will bring him/her to a lower rebirth. So very important.
After death... a 49 day puja can be done to help the deceased find their way to their next life. This is the period of the Bardo. Depending of individuals, some does for 3 days, or 7 days puja... this is entirely up to the family member.
In most cases, cremation is done. To help the deceased to collect more merits, we can take the ashes and do Ruchuk for the person. Very powerful. We can also insert the ashes into stupas... make tsa tsas with their ashes inside and give it to sanghas or people. These are a few great ways to help the deceased to collect merits, making it easier for them to gain a better rebirth and meet the Dharma again in their next rebirth
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Basically what i understand from some of my Buddhist friends,
When a person is dying what can we do?
We can liberate lives. With the merit gain for this act we are able to dedicate it.
We can even swear in on having government vegetarian.
When a person is dead, what can we do?
We can do Lord Shugden practice and request Lord Shugden to bring this person for a good rebirth.
Do we chant Dorje Shugden's mantra or are there other mantras that are more suitable?
We can recite Lord Shugden mantra and beside that we can also recite om mani pedme hum.
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Yes, it is very important to let the dying person leave this life in as peaceful an environment as possible. Even when the person is pronounced as clinically dead i.e. no heart beat, we should still treat the dead person as 'alive' and with care.
When my mother died in the presence of a Hospice doctor, the doctor had kindly helped to wipe my mother's body and changed her clothes. Before the doctor did each action , she would whisper respectfully to my mom that : " Mdm XX, I'm going to wipe your face" or " bend your arm" etc.
As a person of science, this doctor was so aware and concerned about the feeling and sensitivity of the dead that she must had , through her own experience , been convinced that life /life force extends beyond the physical signals of life.
Seeing how the doctor performed the last 'ritual' for my mom was a spiritual awakening experience for me. I sincerely thank this kind doctor for helping my mother and myself.
Kurava, thank you for your post on the humane practice of the Hospice doctor. This is so relieve, I am rejoice that there are such doctors who have respect and compassion towards the dead patient.
I wonder what is the faith of this doctor. Religion belief could be the main factor for this doctor to have this kind of compassionate approach. I have seen many cases of the funeral handler being insensitive or should I say indifferent to their 'clients'. My relatives and friends shared their experiences how these funeral handlers will only be careful when they notice there are family members around.
I read in Dharma books, consciousness of the person who just passed away will leave the body in different time between 1 to 3 days for normal people. So, when the doctor or funeral handlers were washing their bodies, they're aware and may be disturbed. That is why we are advised to touch only the crown or head area and not to touch other parts of the body.
As Buddhist it is very important for us to ensure the people we loved will leave with peaceful mind so that they can go for good and swift rebirth.
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Amitabha.
One of the prayers we can do is the DS prayer and we can visualize DS coming to bless the deceased. Very similar to some traditions who visualize Chenrizig blessing the deceased and absorbing the deceased into his heart. We can visualize DS bringing the deceased away into a fortunate rebirth.
All that is mentioned is this thread are accurate and should be done if possible.
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I have been given this advice:
*when a person passes on, tug lightly on the hairs at the crown of his head so that the mind leaves from there.
*put holy water. mani pill and protector rice in his mouth before he passes away
*the holy water, mani pill and protector rice can also be repeated after death
*after death, protector rice and a Lamrim book should be placed on the top of his head - this can be also when the body is in the casked
We can chant prayers (most common is OM MANI PADME HUNG or any other prayers that you are familiar with) and dedicate to the deceased for his swift rebirth in a place of dhrama.
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One thing I have to the above points it that, if the person was not a Dorje Shugden practitioner, or not a buddhist for the matter. Then we should not chant DS mantra's. Instead we should chant whatever they believed in, in order not to offend them, so they don't get reborn in the spirit realm. For example instead of saying 'Dorje Shugden, Dorje Shugden, Dorje Shugden.' If the person was christian we should say 'Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ etc. Or recite a christian prayer. If we don't know any then try to not offend them by imposing another religion on them
Let me know how you feel.
I need to clarify about what Jeremy has written. I infer from the above comment that a Dorje Shugden mantra is equivalent to chanting "Jesus Christ" repeatedly? How can that be? Unless you are saying that it is not what prayer the dying is chanting but the state of mind he/she is in by saying a prayer?
Is there a difference in how DS can assist a dying person or a dead person going through bardo, as opposed to say Setrap?
On a lighter note, if the person is dying, and chanting DS mantra will help them, then i guess I may take the risk of "offending them"...since the offense is only for a short time. If they are already dead, then I guess there is no risk of them being offended.
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The state of mind at the time of death is extremely important because this plays a vital part in the situation one is reborn into.It is helpful to encourage positive /virtuous thoughts.It is helpful to encourage them to have thoughts such as love,compassion,remembering their Spiritual Leader.
Silent communication and prayer can be helpful.When a person dies,the first part of the body that should be touched is the crown.To rub or tab this area or gently pull the crown hair after a person dies may help the person to obtain a higher rebirth.There are special blessed pills that ca be placed on the crown after death.
A Tibetan tradition,popular in the West is to get part of the remains of the deceased ,blessed and put into statues,tsa tsas or stupas.Making offerings to these or circumbulating them and so on is highly meritorious for the person who has died and for the loved ones.
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What Galen and Ngawang Drakpa posted is what I learned as well. When I first came across Buddhism, an uncle and an aunt of mine passed away and this information was of great help. My grandma was devastated and she cried near the coffin which was what I was afraid of. I had to tell my relatives not to cry as their soul will not rest in peace and they will suffer.
You see, it's the people who are not Buddhists which made it hard as they might not understand what we are trying to do. Hence, we can chant it quietly and dedicate it to them instead.
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Thank you Galen and Ngawang Drakpa for your clear explanation and guidance for the dying. Is good to know all that as we all need to prepare for it one day be it for our love ones as well as our own self.
In my pass when one of my relative pass away last year we were thought to chant Amitabah mantra continously for 49 days as well as go meatless. I did all that but not sure if that helps. Is with faith that I continue doing all that and also the commitement that my family made.
Thank you again for your useful info.
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Dying: An inevitable truth which we spend a whole lifetime running away from. How lucky we are to have the Dharma to make us realize this truth and create the causes for us to be in a situation where we can have complete and utter reliance upon Dorje Shugden to guide us towards our next life...
For it really is not about this lifetime but our future lives that we should be worried about. Even if we cannot remember our past lives or see our future lives, does not mean we cant plan for it!
Thank you all for the postings and giving us the insight on how to deal with the inevitable!
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When someone is dying, there are a few things that can be done for him/her. As what was mentioned earlier, one can take vegetarian vows or liberate animals. If you plan on taking say a year's vegetarian vow and dedicating it to the person that is dying, the merits of the entire year is collected in that instance which can be dedicated to them. Why take vegetarian vows or liberate animals for a dying person? Becuase by doing that, you are saving lives, a direct cause to extending one's life. Also, one could do practices of say white tara or medicine buddha, and dedicate it to the dying person.
When a person is dead, we have to put our selfish thoughts of "how am I going to live without you?" aside. Its not about you but them. What we want to assure is that they are able to leave peacefully, and we can chant DS mantra loudly to the person, requesting DS to guide him/her to a good rebirth (of course that depends on karma too), if not, may they meet Dharma and become Dharma teachers in the future. We should not cry, we should not put ourselves with our emotions on top of the deceased because then you'd make it even harder for the deceased to let go and could lead them to be reborn in the lower realms. And all this because you put your feelings selfishly first ahead of the deceased.
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I have recently experienced someone who was dying and then died. So I am sharing what I know from my experience here. If you are fortunate enough to be near a lama, one can do a divination to see what would be the best prescription to do for this person. If there is none, to add on to what everyone here has provided, this is what you can do for the person before, immediately and after death.
Before death:-
1. Let the person wear a chakra or a Buddha pendant
2. Put holy pills such as mani pills or other pills and even protector rice in a consecrated water and let the person drink this daily.
3. Perform pujas and do daily prayers.
4. Family members should buy statues or any Buddha images to donate.
5. Keep a Buddha statue near the dying person.
6. Take a vegetarian vow. If the dying cannot perform this, the family members can do this to be dedicated to him/her.
7. Perform animal liberation for this person
Immediately after death:-
1. Rub the chakra on the deceased's top of the head and lightly hit the person with a Lamrim book.
2. Gently pull the hair of the deceased upwards.
3. Rub consecrated water on the five points of the face - nose, eyes, ears, crown of head and lips.
4. Bury the person with a Lamrim book placing it on top of the head.
5. Place all the holy pills in his/her mouth.
6. Tell the person as the mind is still around to not worry and go in peace with the Buddha they are affiliated with.
After death:-
1. Offer 100 butterlamps daily for 49 days.
2. Chant 10 malas of Om Mani Padme Hum daily for 49 days.
3. Do meritorious deeds to continuously dedicate merits such as dharma work.
4. Do a puja yearly for this person.
Basically, it's best to do as much as possible before someone passes on because after death, the merits one can receive will be much lesser.
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Thank you, Aurore, for the list of things to do for a person who is dying or who is deceased. I wish I had known about the dying process and how to look after the deceased at the time of death much earlier so I could have helped my parents when they passed away. Now all I can do is pray and dedicate merits to them.
My sister-in-law passed away not long ago. She was converted to a Christian just before her death, and her children had a Christian funeral done for her. I felt so helpless and I dared not say Buddhist mantras in case her children became offended. Then I heard that her own niece who is a Buddhist had a Buddhist puja done for her after the Christian funeral. This is so confusing. Some parents who are not particularly religious themselves may decide to follow their children's religion so that at least the children can do the funereal rites they are comfortable with. If my sister-in-law had not converted, I doubt that the children would be happy to attend a Buddhist funeral. It's so sad.
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Death is inevitable and Buddha had always taught to prepare for death. In such manner we have to live our lives with Widsom and Compassion so that we gain merits for a swift and good rebirth.
The only thing that we inherit and take along with us to our many lives in the future is our Karma. While in this precious human life, we should with wisdom do our best to purify our negative karma to have redemption while we can do so from Buddhist teachings.
However, many people may not even have the merits to meet with the Dharma and as such even at the point of dying, as compassionate Buddhists there are some rituals that we can conduct to call on the Buddhas to lead the soul of the dying to a better place.
Interesting views are contributed here and let us remember them in the event we can be of benefit to some sentient being at point of dying.
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When considering the spiritual needs of the dying, the basic principle is to do whatever you can do to help the person die with a calm and peaceful mind, with spiritual/positive thoughts uppermost. This is because it is believed that the state of mind at the time of death is vitally important and plays an important role in determining what will happen to the person after death.
So whether we are a doctor or nurse relieving pain and other distressing symptoms and reassuring the family, a counsellor helping to resolve emotional issues, a minister of religion offering spiritual counsel, or a volunteer who offers companionship and support for the dying person and their loved ones, we are all contributing significantly towards obtaining this calm and peaceful state of mind.
The basic aim is to avoid any objects or people that generate strong attachment or anger in the mind of the dying person. From the spiritual viewpoint it is desirable to avoid loud shows of emotion in the presence of the dying person. We have to remind ourselves that the dying process is of great spiritual importance and we don't want to disturb the mind of the dying person, which is in an increasingly clear and subtle state. We have to do whatever we can to allow the person to die in a calm/happy/peaceful state of mind.
In this way we will help the dying person make the transition from this life to the next as smooth and as meaningful as possible, recognising the vital spiritual importance of this transition.
In order to gain an understanding of the shortness and preciousness of life and how to make it meaningful we need to reflect on the fact that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain.