Author Topic: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?  (Read 37776 times)

pgdharma

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1055
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #60 on: March 24, 2012, 03:22:19 PM »
In the first place, if two person of different religion cannot accept and agree with each other religion and also have arguments on whose religions is better then they should not get married to each other. If they agree, then they should be tolerant, accept and respect each others religion. The challenges are  there  but you marry the person not because of their religion but of who they are irrespective of religion, race or background.

hope rainbow

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 947
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #61 on: April 14, 2012, 01:34:04 PM »
There was once a young couple one was muslim, one was christian orthodox.
They had no problem being from different religions, but society had, they tried to escape their impossible love and were not given a chance to live.

Watch here:

Sarajevo's Romeo and Juliet


More often than not, it is probably the family or the society around us that is resistant to inter-faith mariages.
An I can only find one reason for that: fear and pettiness.
Fear of change.
Pettiness in this sense: thinking that spirituality is about this or that religion when deep down it is only about our thoughts and our actions of speech and mind.

Positive Change

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1008
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #62 on: April 15, 2012, 05:04:38 AM »
There was once a young couple one was muslim, one was christian orthodox.
They had no problem being from different religions, but society had, they tried to escape their impossible love and were not given a chance to live.


This is a very sad story indeed!

In a country at war using religion as a cause of discrimination and a reason for war, there is this couple symbolizing harmony, symbolizing peace, symbolizing tolerance, symbolizing love.

More insight on Sarajevo and Yugoslavia here:
Romeo and Juliet in Sarajevo (part 1) Small | Large


It shows a country that goes from times of harmony between the different religions to times of war between them. Just like a cycle. I believe every country goes through this morphing be it from the angle of religion, politics, socio-economic or merely racial.

In this cycle, I can only imagine that inter-faith couples, inter-faith families are a cement for peace, they are a cause for peace simply because they make NECESSARY the dialogue, the understanding, the sharing - it is the quintessential UNITY!

IN THE SAME HOUSE live people of different faith that MUST LIVE TOGETHER. And thus the peace starts in the very homes of the people, and I think that is the best way to have peace.

So I wish we have more inter-faith marriages, more understanding, more harmony, and peace.

rossoneri

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 386
    • Email
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #63 on: April 21, 2012, 08:28:26 AM »
I guessed having a family is just like a country but in much smaller scale. Whereby we need to have an understanding and respect among each other. To marry someone that is another religion is possible if both parties do have the basic quality which mentioned earlier. As a couple we need to put everything aside and solely based on the feeling of love and respecting each other.

So even if both of you believed in the same religion but yet doesn't live in harmony, it is pointless to be together even if we claimed to be in this or that religion. And i truly believed the biggest challenge is not about the differences among the religions but it is on how do we all to have compassion, tolerance, harmony and love each other. These are the similar qualities whereby all the different religions have in common and practices, i think...

tsangpakarpo

  • Moderator
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 163
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #64 on: April 22, 2012, 08:11:08 AM »
In my opinion, it doesnt matter if my partner is of another faith, as long as i am allowed to practice the religion of my choice, that is of course, Buddhism. I will not try to convert her either but i will always share my thoughts  on buddhism and the dharma with her.  I will practice well and dedicate my merits to her as well.

Positive Change

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1008
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #65 on: April 22, 2012, 02:42:12 PM »
It is amazing that this post has garnered so much views... makes me wonder why? This is an issue that is very close to most people I should think and is still a sore point at best.

It is bizarre to think that in the 21st century we still have to deal with such bias and disharmony. What happened to the unity of two souls? Perhaps that was always a dream that society has been trying to implement as part of conforming?

I guess my point is as always, why should we still be asking such a question in this day an age! We sure are living in a deluded state in this degenerate times. Thank Buddha for Dorje Shugden or we will all be like lemmings following each other off the cliff!!!!

dsiluvu

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1272
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #66 on: April 22, 2012, 02:47:16 PM »
I am not too sure...

I think it all depends on the partner. He/She should definitely be supportive and respectful to each others religious beliefs. I have seen many who married but have different faiths but they respect and love each other's faith and there is no conflict. That would be the ultimate partner and marriage that is beautiful and harmonious just like if you put Cherezig and Mother Marry together... don't worry love, they are not gonna fight for territory.

But if the partner is totally unsupportive or disrespectful, then it is a total NO no of course. So chosing a partner for life, is like choosing someone who has mutual values, agreements and love for each other despite what their religion is.

Positive Change

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1008
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #67 on: April 27, 2012, 06:53:56 AM »
I am not too sure...

I think it all depends on the partner. He/She should definitely be supportive and respectful to each others religious beliefs. I have seen many who married but have different faiths but they respect and love each other's faith and there is no conflict. That would be the ultimate partner and marriage that is beautiful and harmonious just like if you put Cherezig and Mother Marry together... don't worry love, they are not gonna fight for territory.

But if the partner is totally unsupportive or disrespectful, then it is a total NO no of course. So chosing a partner for life, is like choosing someone who has mutual values, agreements and love for each other despite what their religion is.

Exactly... It should not be dependent on the person's religion or religious beliefs but rather the person in general. Hence the criteria to marry someone or not should not be based on that alone. There are a whole lot more to the person than just his or her religious beliefs. However, having said that, a person's spiritual/religious inclinations does play a major role in the formation of their opinions I think.

Therefore, to conclude, I would say, to decide on whether to marry someone of another religion is a very broad question and should not be the only basis one makes one's decision to share a life with another. It may play a large role but is NOT the ONLY role! :)

ilikeshugden

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 181
    • Email
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #68 on: April 27, 2012, 02:00:42 PM »
I have not gotten married yet so I would not know the full extent on how marrying people of other people can cause any trouble. I believe that as long as both families are okay with their son or daughter marrying a person who is of a different religion and their country permits as there are some countries that forbid the marriage of different people of different religions. Also, there many moments in life when you will discover that even just having friends who do not wish to accept your logic of karma and all will be very difficult. In conclusion, I still believe that religion should never be a barrier between love.

hope rainbow

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 947
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #69 on: June 29, 2012, 05:01:05 PM »
I have not gotten married yet so I would not know the full extent on how marrying people of other people can cause any trouble. I believe that as long as both families are okay with their son or daughter marrying a person who is of a different religion and their country permits as there are some countries that forbid the marriage of different people of different religions. Also, there many moments in life when you will discover that even just having friends who do not wish to accept your logic of karma and all will be very difficult. In conclusion, I still believe that religion should never be a barrier between love.

I like what you said, love should know no barrier indeed, for what is love if it is conditional, what is love if it is given with expectation, what is love if it is not pure? What is love if it cannot bear difficulties?


jessicajameson

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 290
    • Email
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #70 on: June 29, 2012, 09:35:32 PM »
I voted no, however this isn't a simple question to answer.

1. DEGREE OF IMPACT

There are those whose religion isn't such a big part of their life: "You're a Christian and I'm a Buddhist by birth, but they're merely just labels."

Then there are those whose religious inclinations are lopsided: "You're an atheist and I'm a Dharma student of this Guru"... and then there are situations where both parties are active practitioners of their respective religions.

Which couple are you?

2. DIFFERENCES IN PERSPECTIVE

We all like to believe that it should be OK to marry someone of a different faith because it shouldn't make a difference, but in reality it does make a difference.

Our religion (if any) does to some extent define our moral and principals, it influences what we perceive as right and wrong. Yes, all religions fundamentally teaches us the same good values, but how it's taught and the human contamination to the teachings creates those differences.

So in the long-run there will be differences in opinions, e.g. how to raise your children. Differences in opinion creates rifts and friction.

3. TRUE LOVE

Family pressures brings about the greatest challenge to most. All parents (and grandparents) have set views on how family life should be, and what sort of a person their son/daughter should marry. How far their children deviate from that, directly correlates to the amount of distress they go through.

At a younger age, I contemplated dating a Muslim man.  However, knowing it would cause his parents unhappiness (although they wouldn't show it), I decided against it.

Many people believe that true love pervades all, I don't believe that true love breaks families apart. There are other ways of loving people without having to get married.

We can't make 10 people unhappy, because we ourselves want to be happy believing that "I deserve to be happy with him/her".


4. SACRIFICE

I know someone who has married his significant other of a different faith, and due to their marriage they have cut off their entire world. The only people in their world are the both of them, and her father. They work, live, pray together. They chose this because of love.

This may be an "Aw, how sweet" moment for some, but the stress it causes them leads them to argue. It's a pretty story if we don't hear the details!



We all like to hear happy stories of happy marriages, couples of different religions supporting each other etc. However, in reality we should never be airy-fairy-cheerleaders towards friends thinking about marrying someone of a different faith.

To sum it, I echo what dsiluvu says, you have to "choose someone who has mutual values, agreements and love for each other despite what their religion is."

Carpenter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #71 on: June 30, 2012, 06:38:13 AM »
I think having partner from different religion would only work if there is healthy respect for each other’s beliefs. If you try to get the person to convert if he or she is not prepared to do so, that will only spell trouble. Of course, you may think you are doing your partner good by getting him or her to believe in the “right” religion but what is right for you may not necessarily be right for another.

I don’t see any problem for a couple with different religion, it is just like a couple working in different job, will they insist of marrying someone from the same company / department? For me, it doesn’t seem to make much of sense.

I was surfing the internet and trying to find out what people think of marriage the one from different religion, this is one of the beautiful comment I found

Quote
I have seen and heard of inter-faith marriages that work wonderfully and I have also come across relationships that falter just prior to marriage because of different beliefs. For instance, my dad has an old friend who married a woman of a different faith. Every morning, he would light up joss sticks at the home altar as a Buddhist while on Sundays, his wife would make her way to the church being a Christian. They have been doing this for decades and it doesn’t seem to pose a problem that they believe in different gods.

And yes, of course if the couple are not supportive to each other, whether you are in different religion or not, it makes no difference already, because even they are in the same religion, they will still have problem, this is very much depends on how the 2 person accommodate with each other.

biggyboy

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 250
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #72 on: June 30, 2012, 07:58:37 AM »
Exactly... It should not be dependent on the person's religion or religious beliefs but rather the person in general. Hence the criteria to marry someone or not should not be based on that alone. There are a whole lot more to the person than just his or her religious beliefs. However, having said that, a person's spiritual/religious inclinations does play a major role in the formation of their opinions I think.

Therefore, to conclude, I would say, to decide on whether to marry someone of another religion is a very broad question and should not be the only basis one makes one's decision to share a life with another. It may play a large role but is NOT the ONLY role! :)

I would like to add on here that any interfaith marriages to be successful would very much depends on how both parties' mutual understanding and their workings on how they would want in not encroaching into each other's space and belief.  They are such marriages that I have known were still successful till todate. 

If any marriages require both partners to embrace the same religion whichever they select (well obviously, it will naturally follows the husband's faith) - wouldn't this denies the basic individual human rights?

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma7/marriedlife.html

A Happy Married Life - A Buddhist View
By Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda


Individual Rights

One of the causes of greatest concern among those who do not belong to the non-Semitic religions is the problem of conversion before marriage. While Buddhists and Hindus never demand that a couple must belong to the same religion before a marriage can be solemnized, many others tend to take advantage of this tolerance. Marriage, contrary to what many romantic novels say, does not mean the total and absolute merging of two people to the extent that each loses his or her own identity. When a religion demands that both partners must have the same religious label, it denies the basic human right of an individual to believe what he or she wants.

Societies throughout history have proved that "Unity in Diversity" is not only possible but desirable. Out of diversity comes greater respect and understanding. This should apply to marriage also. There are many living examples all over the world where the husband and wife maintain their own beliefs and yet are able to maintain their happy married life without confronting each other.

Buddhists do not oppose the existence of other religions even within the same household. Unfortunately this generous attitude has been exploited by unscrupulous religionists who are out to gain converts by all means.

Intelligent Buddhists must be aware of this stratagem. No self- respecting intelligent human being who really understands what he believes according to his own conviction should give up his beliefs merely to satisfy the man-made demands of another religion. Buddhists do not demand that their partners embrace Buddhism. Neither should they surrender their own beliefs.

Marriage is a partnership of two individuals and this partnership is enriched and enhanced when it allows the personalities involved to grow. Many marriages fail because one partner tries to "swallow" another or when one demands total freedom. According to Buddhism, marriage means understanding and respecting each other's belief and privacy. A successful marriage is always a two-way path: "humpy, bumpy" -- it is difficult but it is always a mutual path.

Young people in this country and elsewhere sometimes think that "old fashioned ideas" are not relevant to modern society. They should be reminded that there are some eternal truths, which can never become out-of-date. What was true during the time of Buddha still remains true today.

The so-called modern ideas we receive through the highly glamorous television programs do not represent the way most decent people in the west think or behave. There is a vast "silent majority" of decent couples who are as deeply religious and "conservative" about marriage as any Eastern couple. They do not behave in the manner that the mass media has portrayed them. Not all the people in the west run off to get a divorce or abortion after their first quarrel or dispute.

Decent people all over the world are the same; they are unselfish and care deeply about those whom they love. They make enormous sacrifices and develop love and understanding to ensure happy and stable marriages. So, if you want to ape the west ape the "silent majority": they are no different from your decent neighbor who lives next door to you.

Young people must also listen to their elders because their own understanding about married life is not mature. They should not make hasty conclusions regarding, marriages and divorces. They must have a lot of patience, tolerance and mutual understanding. Otherwise, their life can become very miserable and problematic. Patience, tolerance and understanding are important disciplines to be observed and practiced by all people in marriage.

A feeling of security and contentment comes from mutual understanding, which is the secret of a happy married life.

hope rainbow

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 947
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #73 on: December 22, 2012, 05:23:06 PM »
Now we know that over 65% of the voters here do believe that it is possible to have inter-faith marriage.
But now, do you think it is possible to have a marriage with one of the two spouses that has a faith and the other that does not have faith.

So the question switches from 2 people that have different faiths to a couple between an atheist and a believer. Can it work?

diablo1974

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 251
Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #74 on: December 29, 2012, 06:13:10 PM »
Personally, if i got a choice....i wouldnt because ive seen many live examples of couples hving problems due to religion after they got married to each other. Before marriage, they agreed to respect each other religion but things change after theybare married to one another and living under same roof. If half the time are spent in dealing with relationship issue, i guess i would rather use it on spirituality.