Dear Ensapa,
I would point out your remarks: "none of us are qualified to go for the higher view yet", and, "so on our level, it is pretty clear which view we should adopt".
My point - which has been said by the Masters - that we do not know who others really are unless we have high realization is not necessarily a "higher view". It is a very basic view that is humble enough to acknowledge that we do not know. This humility understands that we do not know who is and isn't qualified, and that everyone is not on the same level though it may appear so to ordinary mundane perceptions. In other words, your broad statements do not acknowledge the various levels of practitioner.
I would also point out in the context tantric pure view vs ordinary conception, we have this sense that others are definitely ordinary, and that they see us as ordinary, and in our contemplation somehow conclude from this that others make it difficult for us to maintain pure view of ourself because they have ordinary view of us. Looking carefully, we realize that it is our own ordinary conception that others are ordinary holding us to be ordinary that locks us into ordinary conception. It is our own view. Luckily, because there is no real phenomena there from the objects side, we have freedom to create our reality through our view. New scientific discoveries are beginning to prove this.
I believe that you missed my point. While I agree that we can check a persons sincerity as you say, I am making the point that the reality is we do not know for sure what their intentions are even though it may appear to definitely be a certain way to our ordinary mistaken appearance. I am not saying we do not take actions based on normal conventions, such as distancing ourself as you say, but it is an important spiritual step that we acknowledge we do not know for sure. Why is it important?
Because by doing so we are opening up to the correct view of emptiness, we are opening the doorway to faith in the skillful means of Buddhas, we are stepping through the gateway to the higher view that abandons ordinary conceptions. This is how we can begin to see the controversy as the skillful means of Manjushri and Chenrezig, that the base line is they are trying to liberate us by giving us experiences that are meant to help us grow spiritually.
I know for some people this is very difficult, that the suffering is too intense, that some people may not yet have the ability to practice like this, however, my point remains that every moment is a new opportunity to try.
If you repeatedly keep blaming uncontrolled rebirth in contaminated aggregates for all your problems, through familiarity you will come to acknowledge that more deeply. Something will shift, and with that view you will begin to really get fed up and long for permanent freedom. It is very contrived at first, but Dharma practice is not really complicated. When you see, hear, or think about other living beings, if you immediately say 'this is my mother' over and over, it will really begin to function. It is all simply a matter of familiarity through simple repetitious application.
In other words, I do not agree that we must wait to respond to experiences with realization. That is procrastination. People may be too overwhelmed, but if in that space they get a blessing to try, even a little, to repeatedly think a Dharma train of thought, it will begin to shed light, and the realization will begin to vibrate more strongly and function to reduce their suffering. You can't force people, of course, but you can certainly encourage them.
As for 'right' and 'wrong', I agree certain actions need to be taken. What I am here to encourage is that people try to put all these experiences into the context of realization. Taking the medicine of Dharma is over-complicated by our human nature to over-think, when really its as easy as repeating a phrase in relation to an appearance, over and over and over. It works, even when our pain is deep. It sometimes just takes that one person telling us we have more power than we give ourselves credit. We have people constantly telling us we're at a low level, we're lazy and pathetic. If they were telling us we are powerful, we can do it, what would that do?
My retreat Master once said: "you develop faith by having it!" If you decide a crazy person is actually an emanation of Dorje Shugden and have deep faith in that decision, though you may work with the conventional appearance accordingly, you will receive very powerful blessings. It is a decision that if repeated over and over will begin to function. We can wallow in self-pity constantly victimizing and disempowering ourself, or having received encouragement, make a simple decision to try a new perception. Try.