Author Topic: The Voice of Happiness  (Read 4470 times)

Jessie Fong

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The Voice of Happiness
« on: July 02, 2012, 12:15:29 AM »
The Voice of Happiness

After Bankei had passed away, a blind man who lived near the master's temple told a friend: "Since I am blind, I cannot watch a person's face, so I must judge his character by the sound of his voice. Ordinarily when I hear someone congratulate another upon his happiness or success, I also hear a secret tone of envy. When condolence is expressed for the misfortune of another, I hear pleasure and satisfaction, as if the one condoling was really glad there was something left to gain in his own world.

"In all my experience, however, Bankei's voice was always sincere. Whenever he expressed happiness, I heard nothing but happiness, and whenever he expressed sorrow, sorrow was all I heard."


This reminds me of a very simple teaching to receptionists or anyone answering a telephone -- we are told to smile as we answer the phone, for the caller can sense from out tone of voice.  Same applies to other situations - if you think happy thoughts, your voice will sound happy and vice versa.

So the words that come out of our mouth may not sound sincere if we are not speaking from the heart.  It will not be honest or true.

ratanasutra

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2012, 06:12:49 AM »
Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct in the eightfold path. Ethical conduct is viewed as a guideline to moral discipline, which supports the other principles of the path. This aspect is not self-sufficient, however, essential, because mental purification can only be achieved through the cultivation of ethical conduct.

The importance of speech in the context of Buddhist ethics : words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace.

Buddha explained right speech as follows:
1. to abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully,
2. to abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously gainst others,
3. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and
4. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.

Well.. time to watch out our speech as there are so much benefit can gain as the same time so much damage we can create from speech.


bambi

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2012, 07:35:46 AM »
Oh yes Jessie. I am sure we always feel some sort of kindness when we call some company's help line. Although they are paid to do so but they try their very best not to get annoyed with some times stupid questions. I used to be the one who gets annoyed and frustrated with them. And also at waiters who can't seem to bring the correct order even after several repeat. Then I realized that it is not their fault but myself for my ignorance. They too are just trying their best to do their job and with my Dharma knowledge, I should be more patient and understanding.

DS Star

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2012, 08:06:08 AM »
Thank you Jessie Fong for yet another interesting post  :)

Regarding tone of voice, I remember very well an advice from my friend who works as Customer Relations Officer and was in-charged of answering customers' complaints. She said she brought a mirror with her and will look at herself in the mirror when answering the calls. Even if at the other end the customers is scolding her, she must keep smiling to maintain a pleasant tone.

As for this great master of Zen, Bankei (1622-1693), he was famous for speaking in plain language that anyone can understand. I'm sharing here a rather funny story of Bankei:

"Bankei was approached by a priest who boasted that his master possessed miraculous powers. This master could take a brush and write Amida in the air and the word would appear on a sheet of paper in the distance. Challenged to equal this, Bankei replied, "My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink."

And, his wisdom:

Unborn and imperishable
Is the original mind.
Earth, water, fire and wind—
A temporary lodging for the night



Jessie Fong

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2012, 08:34:47 AM »
Do you feel the voice of mechanism pounding the air when you arrive at certain food outlets and their staff on hand would automatically greet you with a welcome ... Welcome to X&X  and then after your meal, as you start towards the exit, you hear them calling after you ... Thank you, please come again.

a. Were they really happy that you patronised their food outlet?
b. Were they happy to ask you to come back again?

:: Well if I look at it this way -- they were happy for your patronage as it brought business to their outlet and yes they were happy to call out to you to come again as it would mean more business and thus income for them

But do you ever feel their sincerity?

Tammy

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2012, 08:48:20 AM »
This is true but, Jessie my friend, it is near impossible for everyone to be rid of their habituation of feeling envious towards other's successes instead of totally rejoice for them. And I agree with the method of 'fake it to make it' - when we speak with a smile (even thru phone), our words will be more pleasant than those spoken with sour face.

Similarly, it is the motivational act of saying encouraging words  to ourselves in the mirror every morning does help in starting the day with a right note. All these sums up to be - we are what we think !!

What we think becomes our action - over time, actions becomes habit - habit forms our character - our character determines our destiny.

Down with the BAN!!!

Carpenter

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2012, 09:57:06 AM »
Our voice is our biggest traitor sometimes, hehe, but it is definitely good when someone has ill motive towards something or someone, so from their tone of voice, we will be able to guage what he/she is up to.

Tone of voice may say more than the actual words you use. This important feature of everyday speech is so powerful that it can actually propel you to successful heights or keep you stuck in a lowly position. Tone of voice is made up of several factors and functions in a variety of ways.


Our tone of voice is such an important part of communication that it may often override the actual words we’re using. When we talk either sincerely or not, people can feel it, so when we speak, we must always be very mindful on how we talk.


To test this theory, try it on a dog. Speak in a loud, angry tone and say the word, "Good dog." Watch him cower although you are actually complimenting him. Switch your tone to a soothing, cooing nature and call him a jerk, idiot or worst dog you ever met. Despite your insults, he'll be wagging his tail and wanting to get closer to someone who is speaking so soothingly.







diamond girl

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2012, 11:01:26 AM »
Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct in the eightfold path. Ethical conduct is viewed as a guideline to moral discipline, which supports the other principles of the path. This aspect is not self-sufficient, however, essential, because mental purification can only be achieved through the cultivation of ethical conduct.

The importance of speech in the context of Buddhist ethics : words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace.

Buddha explained right speech as follows:
1. to abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully,
2. to abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously gainst others,
3. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and
4. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.

Well.. time to watch out our speech as there are so much benefit can gain as the same time so much damage we can create from speech.


Speech is the most powerful tool of influence. As many know this saying - The Power of Speech. Also another famous saying - Word of Mouth - as a sales and marketing tool. Even in today's world of social media, the face book is a powerful form of "word of mouth"

In the Buddhist context, I would like to add to what Ratanasutra posted with this video:Using Right Speech and Communication]
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oljETWkf0Y#]Using Right Speech and Communication
[/url]

Jessie Fong

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2012, 12:00:50 PM »
Our voice is our biggest traitor sometimes, hehe, but it is definitely good when someone has ill motive towards something or someone, so from their tone of voice, we will be able to guage what he/she is up to.

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On the contrary Carpenter.  Say you are a man (I do not know you) and a sweet young thing walks up to you.  With her svelte figure, flawless makeup, nice hair do, smelling like roses and the most musical voice you have ever heard - how would you react to it?

Just like any red blooded male would do - *faint* the moment she walks up to you?  But amidst all the distraction, would you be able to tell what is her motive?  She may just be as innocent as they come or a damsel in disguise (not distress). 

What would you say when she whispers sweet nothings in your ear? Would you think that she is trying to draw your attention or she is really attracted to you?  Or maybe she is just the way she is?  HOw will you be able to judge?

Dondrup Shugden

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2015, 04:22:14 PM »
It is always said that your eyes betray your feelings.  From this article it looks like your voice too will tell the listener whether you are sincere or not.  Emotions through your voice.

Interesting to also note that Buddha also taught us have to say only things from your heart. 

RedLantern

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Re: The Voice of Happiness
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2015, 05:08:32 PM »

Right Speech is not just a personal virtue. Modern communication technology has given us a culture that seems saturated with "wrong" speech -- communication that is hateful and deceptive. This engenders disharmony, acrimony, and physical violence.

We tend to think of violent, hateful words as being less wrong than violent action. We may even think of violent words as being justified sometimes. But violent words, thoughts and actions arise together and support each other. So to do peaceful words, thoughts and actions.

Beyond cultivating beneficial or harmful karma, Right Speech is essential to personal practice.