Author Topic: Equalizing self with others.  (Read 15969 times)

Klein

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Re: Equalizing self with others.
« Reply #15 on: April 22, 2012, 10:17:12 AM »
I find "All others wish to be free from suffering and be happy, others are just like me" easier to relate to. This is because all of us are in the same boat and stuck in Samsara. Some are more blinded by their attachments than others. I've learnt that attachments are attachments.

We can never judge and say that his attachment is easier to overcome than mine. What's easy to me may be extremely difficult to the other person and vice versa. Just like how we'd like others to love us regardless of our flaws, we should reciprocate without judging.

I find "All others have been kind to me now and in previous lives, therefore I must return their kindness" most difficult to relate to because I don't remember the people in my previous lives. Furthermore, I don't believe in waiting for the person to show kindness to me first before I can show kindness to them. I just show kindness because all of us need love.

There's already so much sufferings in this world. Why add to it?

RedLantern

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Re: Equalizing self with others.
« Reply #16 on: April 22, 2012, 12:17:26 PM »
If we check with everyone else,they are the same as us.We try to avoid suffering and don't like to suffer.If we think from the point of view of nature there is no difference.We are all sentient beings. In the nature of sufferingand impermanence,we are all going to die.We go through struggle and suffering.From the point of view alone,were are equal and there is not the slightest reason to consider ourselves more important than others but consider ourselves as an object of compassion and love because we all have the same impermanent nature and we all have the same suffering. Our minds are contaminated with ignorance and
delusions.All goodness and happiness arises from wishing for others to be happy.Everything that runs smoothly and well in our lives comes from cherishing others.Whatever exists,requires causes and conditions.
When we cherish others, we are generous,we practice patience,morality and non harming.
All three are good points to meditate upon.

triesa

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Re: Equalizing self with others.
« Reply #17 on: April 23, 2012, 12:09:19 AM »
As a method to to develop affectionate love for others, there are three topics for contemplation in the meditation of equalizing ourself with others :

1) All others have been kind to me now and in previous lives, therefore I must return their kindness,

2) All others wish to be free from suffering and be happy, others are just like me

3) I am only one, others are countless ; thus I'm less important than others.

Out of the above, which one you find easiest to relate to, why?

Which one you find most difficult to relate to and why?


I find (2) the easiest, because I can relate to it the most. I want happiness and no sufferings and if I want that, others will want the same. This feeling is what we can experience every day, every single minute, so I find this easier to associate with as a method to develop affectionate love for others.

I find (1) the most difficult to relate to among the 3 choices. Obviously if the person concerned is nice to me in this life time, it is easy for me to return their kindness. However, in reality there are many people whom we do not like or whom have been unkind, nasty and mean to us, so to develop affectionate love towards them  in this life time is harder because of the bad experience with them. It is like asking you to be kind to someone whom have always shouted at you, bitch at you and just plain simple nasty to you. We can outwardly display courtesy as a kindness, but deep inside, I don’t think I can really have that affectionate love towards them at this moment by using this method.

 I find it easier to adopt  choice 1 to develope "equalizing self with others" :D Glad that there are different ways to suit different level of minds to achieve the same result.

vajratruth

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Re: Equalizing self with others.
« Reply #18 on: April 23, 2012, 03:04:57 AM »
As a method to to develop affectionate love for others, there are three topics for contemplation in the meditation of equalizing ourself with others :

1) All others have been kind to me now and in previous lives, therefore I must return their kindness,

2) All others wish to be free from suffering and be happy, others are just like me

3) I am only one, others are countless ; thus I'm less important than others.

Out of the above, which one you find easiest to relate to, why?

Which one you find most difficult to relate to and why?

I find No.2 easiest to identify with because it is based on an emotion that everyone understands and are often very attached to, i.e.the sense of suffering and pain. Regardless of who we are, everyone has had to feel pain and sorrow at some point. We can use this to (a) identity the feeling of suffering and then (b) understand that this is also what others feel and in that way find a common bond with others.

When we remember how suffering and pain feels like, and we relate that feeling to other people whom we see suffering, we want the pain to end for them quickly as well. Pain binds us all together.

I think most do not wish to see others suffer but are too caught up in their own suffering to even bother or notice the others. In that way, we are consumed by our own problems and sorrow. If we learn to relate other sentient beings' sufferings to us, we begin to go beyond our self centered self and develop a desire for their suffering to end.

buddhalovely

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Re: Equalizing self with others.
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2012, 05:18:12 AM »
Equanimity, recognising all beings as your mother, remembering their kindness, wishing to repay their kindness, and the affectionate love which sees them as beautiful. Thus you begin to meditate on equalising yourself with others. How should you equalise yourself with others? First of all, you need to understand what you mean by "self", when you think in terms of yourself. When we think "myself and others", this "myself" has a sense of great importance, whereas "others" has a sense of much less importance.

However, consider it from the point of view of numbers: you are just one, whereas others are countless. So there is a discrepancy in the way you regard yourself and others: although there are so many more others than yourself, you regard yourself as more important than others. this is completely wrong. You need to think over and over again about the fact that there is not the slightest difference between yourself and others in terms of wanting to be happy and wanting to be free from suffering. In this regard, you and others are exactly the same. when you meditate on the kindness of sentient beings according to the seven-point cause-and-effect instruction, you recollect how kind they were when they were your mother, whereas when you meditate according to the instructions on exchanging oneself with others, you recollect their kindness not only when they were your mother but also at other times, when they were not your mother. This meditation is more extensive. Therefore, when you train your mind in the instructions of exchanging oneself with others, the strength of your affectionate love and great compassion will be greater than when training the mind in the seven-point technique of cause-and -effect.