Author Topic: L-O-V-E <3  (Read 13636 times)

RedLantern

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2012, 05:50:41 AM »
The word 'love' is used to cover a very wide range of emotions human beings experience.Much of the love in this world is self centred,only a love of one is own self.Not the love for the husband loved,but the husband is loved for love of self. Children are loved by parents,not out of love for the children,but for love of self.Not out of love is anybody loved,but for love of self are loved!
BUT loving kindness is neither emotional or selfish.It radiates through the purified mind after eradicating hatred,jealously,cruelty,enmity and grudges.
To develope  love is through thinking out the evils of hate,and the advantages of non hate.Buddha has expounded the nature of love in Buddhism.Just as a mother would protect her only child even at the risk of her own life,even so,let him cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings.

KhedrubGyatso

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #16 on: February 29, 2012, 04:08:55 AM »
(From Klein : Two ways I can think of to practise pure love are:
1. Volunteering in a charity. Making a positive difference to the less fortunate.
2. Doing dharma work whether full time or part time.

These methods allow us the opportunity to benefit others without having to know them. We just do it because we want the people to be better off and nothing else. I believe this is pure love or in other words, unconditional love.)

The above is too simplistic.
In the context of Buddhist practice , we need to weed out worldly concerns through purification practices and engaging in virtue. In addition we need to develop wisdom .

What Klein had described above is only one aspect of practice, which is to accumulate merit by doing good. However, we also need to have wisdom to ensure the purity of our actions of body and speech otherwise , whether it is dharma work or charity they are still worldly and no different than any other actions which benefit people. It is not enough to just say I am doing it to benefit people or following what other people do or tell us.
Sorry,  Klein but you are off  the mark when you said it is  wanting people to be better off. What is the basis? It is not about what you want for them,  but realizing what really helps and what is everybody's true needs. Giving some angpows during a CNY event is only very short term benefit. ( if we can call it that ) . We need to understand what is true suffering, the 4 noble truths, karma , dependent origination etc
The highest wisdom we need to ensure  purity of our actions is the wisdom that realizes emptiness or ultimate truth. For our level, we can contemplate on how all our happiness depends on others and that all living beings had been our past life mothers at one time or another. If we are now helping others it is to repay their kindness. From this correct view and motivation we start to develop pure love.
Just doing without correct view or wisdom will not lead to true transformation from impure to pure mind.  The whole world is doing good, bad, neutral things but they remain mostly as  worldly deeds without the special wisdom.

sonamdhargey

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #17 on: May 25, 2012, 11:03:39 AM »
All of us live our life based on love, we need the presence of love, what kind of love? Loving kindness? If we love based on lust, passion, attachment, discrimination, and prejudice, we will suffer. Because the nature of such love depends on the concepts of 'me' and 'mine', it remains entangled in attachment and discrimination. Because they are caught in attachment, they worry about untoward incidents that could befall their loves ones even before it happened. When such incidents does occur, they suffer terribly. Love that is base on discrimination breeds prejudice. People become indfferent or hostile to those outside their circle of love. Attachment and discrimination are sources of suffering for ourselves and others.

If our love is based on a selfish desire to possess others, we will not bring them peace and happiness. But instead our love will make them feel trapped. Such a love is like a prison. If we want our loved ones to be happy, we must learn to understand their sufferings and aspirations. When we understand, we will know how to relieve their sufferings and how to help them fulfill their aspirations. That is true love. If we only want our loved ones to follow our own ideas and we remain ignorant of their needs, it is not true love. It is only a desire to possess another and attempt to fulfill our own needs, which cannot be fulfilled in that way.

rossoneri

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #18 on: May 26, 2012, 10:29:27 AM »
The definition of love in Buddhism is wanting others to be happy. This love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance).

This definition means that 'love' in Buddhism refers to something quite different from the ordinary term of love which is usually about attachment, more or less successful relationships and sex. All of which are rarely without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to de-tachment and the unselfish interest in others' welfare. So why do we complicate L.O.V.E?

negra orquida

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #19 on: May 27, 2012, 12:18:03 PM »
All of us agree that pure/true love is unconditional, not arising from self cherishing, not arising from desire/lust, its universal, its for the happiness of others, its very big, bigger than a mother's love for her child and a thousand billion leagues ahead of "romantic love".

Hence, for a lay person (who is not a reincarnation of a high lama), is it possible to have a "romantic relationship" that is not based on desire/lust/self cherishing?

If the answer is no, would it make sense then to not get into a romantic relationship? Since the basis of forming the relationship was out of our delusions, then would it become a fertile ground for us to further develop our delusions (e.g. attachment)? Or would this be considered avoidance for overcoming such delusions (which may otherwise not surface in other circumstances)?

ratanasutra

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2012, 01:56:45 PM »
Generally our love is only for our parents and children, husbands and wives, family members because the nature of such love depends on the concepts of 'me' and 'mine' which come from our attachment and discrimination.  We are always worried about security and well-being of them even there are nothing bad happen.  Then when some accidents do occur, we suffer terribly. Attachment and discrimination are the cause of our suffering and others.

Pure love can be developed by our compassion and wisdom which is result of a mindfulness practice because we understand and realize that all beings are suffering from old age, sickness, death and rebirth therefore we will love everyone same.

Pure love brings happiness to others and remove other's suffering.  Pure love does not demand anything in return.

biggyboy

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Re: L-O-V-E <3
« Reply #21 on: June 27, 2012, 04:56:54 PM »
In order to practice pure love,  it is to give that love without expecting anything back in return. Pure love is unconditional love. It is the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of others and is based on compassion. It is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion and affection without any expectations. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations such as expecting to be loved in equal measure in return, then it is not love at all.