Author Topic: Dealing with angry minds  (Read 9405 times)

sonamdhargey

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Re: Dealing with angry minds
« Reply #30 on: May 06, 2012, 08:58:10 AM »
Anger is something very hard to avoid hence by realizing that we are angry and controlling that anger is the best way to deal with our angry minds for a start. When anger arises, ask ourselves where does it come from? How it was triggered? Mostly we would think that our anger are caused from external factors. Some people get angry at themselves, some people get angry on a situation and some people get angry from the actions from another person. Whichever way it arises it is all created from our own thoughts that leads us to be feeling angry. Being angry is not wrong but how we react when we are angry is crucial and if we reacted badly then sometimes can be disastrous or very damaging to others and ourselves.

Take a positive approach on how we deal with our anger, ask ourself again and again what are the consequences of our actions if we acted in an uncontrolled manner where we keep flaring up, being hurtful and spiral out of control. Chronic, explosive anger can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind. Control your anger before it controls you.

KhedrubGyatso

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Re: Dealing with angry minds
« Reply #31 on: May 07, 2012, 04:53:31 AM »
There are several ways to deal with angry people who vent their emotions on us.
A quick gross way is to avoid confrontation or tolerate and allow the person’s anger lose steam. In situations where the angry person may be in a threatening mood and is ready to explode, such a passive method may work well under the circumstances. However, this will not work in the long term because we can reach our limit of tolerance very easily and we will lose control sooner or later and will respond back with increased anger.
For more realistic solutions mind training is required. A Buddhist method is  to develop equanimity which does not label people as friends, enemies and strangers. If we are mindful that the person who is directing his anger at us is not an enemy but as someone who is suffering from the temporary illness/ disease of anger and who had also been kind to us in many ways in the past and have the capacity to be kind to us in future, it will transform tolerance into patient acceptance which has more power to reduce or remove our own angry seeds from being triggered when dealing with adversities. There are even higher methods which can permanently remove all our negativities such as realizing  selflessness, bodhicitta or the correct view of emptiness.

DSFriend

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Re: Dealing with angry minds
« Reply #32 on: May 12, 2012, 01:21:07 PM »

For more realistic solutions mind training is required. A Buddhist method is  to develop equanimity which does not label people as friends, enemies and strangers. If we are mindful that the person who is directing his anger at us is not an enemy but as someone who is suffering from the temporary illness/ disease of anger and who had also been kind to us in many ways in the past and have the capacity to be kind to us in future, it will transform tolerance into patient acceptance which has more power to reduce or remove our own angry seeds from being triggered when dealing with adversities. There are even higher methods which can permanently remove all our negativities such as realizing  selflessness, bodhicitta or the correct view of emptiness.

That's the preciousness of Dharma isn't it! Many self help teachings show us how to deal with the symtoms which is great help for the moment. I do appreciate them very much as often times, I find myself in such situations and not getting sucked into it like falling into some quicksand is the immediate focus.

However, eliminating the angry seeds is what I am after. When i think about it this way, it is the angry minds that I am thankful for as it further strengthens my wish to rid off these seeds. I certainly do not want to have a twisted, ugly angry face! Who would want that eh!   

ilikeshugden

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Re: Dealing with angry minds
« Reply #33 on: May 13, 2012, 03:35:15 AM »
We should practice to keep our mind calm when facing angry minds. We can do so by chanting mantras, like OM MANI PADME HUM. Chanting mantras really help. Trust me. If possible, refrain from making too much contact with them as u do not want them to create more negative emotions in their mind. Prevent them from making more bad karma.

Dondrup Shugden

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Re: Dealing with angry minds
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2015, 11:21:41 AM »
It is interesting to note, how when "Dealing with angry minds" is discussed, we tend to look at being victims to outside angry minds.

Dealing with people with angry minds is really not that difficult although it may be uncomfortable.  We can either keep quiet, (let them win) sooth them (encouraging their inhabituation) or oven walk away.  In any way, are we contributing to them to be better off.

However, it is the experience of having dealt with our own angry minds that we will have the patience, compassion and some level of wisdom and methods to deal with other angry minds.

Dealing with our own angry mind is the most difficult and I totally agree that being mindful cultivated from studying the 8 verse of mind transformation and practice thereon is the only solution.

Let us pray that we can curb our own anger to be of value to propagate the wisdom of the Dharma.