Author Topic: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?  (Read 34371 times)

hope rainbow

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2012, 12:13:08 PM »
I would not. In any union may it be marriage (the most common one), commercial etc. having to deal with different view points are already issues to be handled, why make it more problematic with something so personal, of which you can make a choice.

Love is beautiful, but love of a marriage is so conditional (in most cases, usually after a perfect princess or prince) why make it more difficult with another condition of religious differences. With time the differences will show and become an issue. 

Love based on choices is already conditional, so make the right choice and marry someone of same religion. A condition set right from the start.

Dear DS.
This is a little bit scary though....
Because if we establish the fact that we can't live harmoniously among different faiths within a relationship of love, how can we hope that societies can live harmoniously with different faiths, especially in places/countries that have different faith within the same area, same city, same buildings?

Then this thought comes to my mind: could a Dorje Shugden practitioner and a non-Dorje Shugden practitioner marry and live together harmoniously?

Positive Change

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #16 on: January 10, 2012, 05:47:25 AM »
I would not. In any union may it be marriage (the most common one), commercial etc. having to deal with different view points are already issues to be handled, why make it more problematic with something so personal, of which you can make a choice.

Love is beautiful, but love of a marriage is so conditional (in most cases, usually after a perfect princess or prince) why make it more difficult with another condition of religious differences. With time the differences will show and become an issue. 

Love based on choices is already conditional, so make the right choice and marry someone of same religion. A condition set right from the start.

Well... I do not think marriage is and should be conditional. If it were, it should not be a marriage. The very meaning of the word marriage means is to join or unite regardless if the individuals are similar or not. It is how well they "gel" and form a team, hence a "union".

What Hope Rainbow points out too is very valid and real... if we cannot even accept the differences in our so called partners that we will be spending the rest of our lives together, how in Buddha's name can we even try to accept someone we do not know.

We need to get out of precisely this selfish and self absorbing attitudes in order for us to view every person, every being, every animal as a fellow sentient being devoid of his/her/its faults. No disrespect to you Dondrup Shugden or anyone else who has this opinion... but think about it for a moment though, Imagine if everyone we close-minded in this way, it is no wonder in this day an age, one can walk into a crowd and blow themselves up in the name of a narrow minded opinion stemming from a selfish thought.

pgdharma

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2012, 03:34:48 PM »
Marrying a person of different faith is alright but it has its challenges. If one is committed to such a relationship, one should understand and accept the differences than the marriage will work. All religion taught us to have tolerance, harmony and compassion. Thus one should apply these teachings and support each other to make the marriage work as spirituality makes one more caring and loving. A marriage that does not work is not the fault of the religion but of the differences in thoughts, behavior and character.

diamond girl

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2012, 07:56:21 PM »
I would not. In any union may it be marriage (the most common one), commercial etc. having to deal with different view points are already issues to be handled, why make it more problematic with something so personal, of which you can make a choice.

Love is beautiful, but love of a marriage is so conditional (in most cases, usually after a perfect princess or prince) why make it more difficult with another condition of religious differences. With time the differences will show and become an issue. 

Love based on choices is already conditional, so make the right choice and marry someone of same religion. A condition set right from the start.

Dear DS.
This is a little bit scary though....
Because if we establish the fact that we can't live harmoniously among different faiths within a relationship of love, how can we hope that societies can live harmoniously with different faiths, especially in places/countries that have different faith within the same area, same city, same buildings?

Then this thought comes to my mind: could a Dorje Shugden practitioner and a non-Dorje Shugden practitioner marry and live together harmoniously?

Hope Rainbow,
The question you raised about whether a DS practitioner and non-DS practitioner can marry and live together is also quite scary... it made me think... I think that if the Ban did not exist, it would be fine as I feel that inter-faith marriages can work and I would marry someone of a different faith. But in the reality of the Ban, then it would be impossible for DS and non-DS practitioners to marry...Why? It is not the religious differences BUT the political propaganda and impositions dictated by government.

Plus, marriage is a samsaric requirement and "necessity", and so it comes with definite guaranteed sufferings... Yes one could say why add to the issues with religious differences? I would prefer to have the view that if religious differences can be overcome with harmony, compassion and tolerance (the basic teachings of all religions) then such virtues would also overcome other sufferings in marriages and relationships.

valeriecheung

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2012, 08:23:47 PM »
I would not. In any union may it be marriage (the most common one), commercial etc. having to deal with different view points are already issues to be handled, why make it more problematic with something so personal, of which you can make a choice.

Love is beautiful, but love of a marriage is so conditional (in most cases, usually after a perfect princess or prince) why make it more difficult with another condition of religious differences. With time the differences will show and become an issue. 

Love based on choices is already conditional, so make the right choice and marry someone of same religion. A condition set right from the start.

Dear DS.
This is a little bit scary though....
Because if we establish the fact that we can't live harmoniously among different faiths within a relationship of love, how can we hope that societies can live harmoniously with different faiths, especially in places/countries that have different faith within the same area, same city, same buildings?

Then this thought comes to my mind: could a Dorje Shugden practitioner and a non-Dorje Shugden practitioner marry and live together harmoniously?

Hope Rainbow,
The question you raised about whether a DS practitioner and non-DS practitioner can marry and live together is also quite scary... it made me think... I think that if the Ban did not exist, it would be fine as I feel that inter-faith marriages can work and I would marry someone of a different faith. But in the reality of the Ban, then it would be impossible for DS and non-DS practitioners to marry...Why? It is not the religious differences BUT the political propaganda and impositions dictated by government.

Plus, marriage is a samsaric requirement and "necessity", and so it comes with definite guaranteed sufferings... Yes one could say why add to the issues with religious differences? I would prefer to have the view that if religious differences can be overcome with harmony, compassion and tolerance (the basic teachings of all religions) then such virtues would also overcome other sufferings in marriages and relationships.



religious differences can be overcome with harmony, compassion and tolerance (the basic teachings of all religions) then such virtues would also overcome other sufferings in marriages and relationships. BUT pls be practical based on our life experiences. Do you have a spouse different religious? Spouse is some one that you be with most of the time, eat,sleep and have longest hours bed talk. For example, if you are buddhist but your spouse is christian or islamic. When you wish to spend over of hundred or thousand to set up an altar,invite statue,buy offering bowl and etc., will he/she is fine with this? This might create the cause for non stop arguement even after years, because human always forget we should tolerance, respect each other and let go ego.

Galen

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2012, 09:43:12 PM »
Then this thought comes to my mind: could a Dorje Shugden practitioner and a non-Dorje Shugden practitioner marry and live together harmoniously?

This is my take on the above. Because of the ban, it has caused family to break up, friends becoming enemies, etc. I have heard of parents disowning their children because of the ban, what more on couples? So, a DS practitioner and a non-DS practitioner who is already married before the ban still has a possibility of living together harmoniously as there is love that binds them together, if they can look beyond their own personal religious beliefs.

Q

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #21 on: January 11, 2012, 05:03:30 PM »
You're missing one selection... 'I'm not going to marry' choice haha...

Well, in my opinion... Difference in religion should not be a problem unless one of the partner tries to dominate by forcing his/her believe onto the other partner. If such a thing does not happen, then I believe it can be a happy union.

nagaseeker

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2012, 05:52:15 PM »
You're missing one selection... 'I'm not going to marry' choice haha...

Well, in my opinion... Difference in religion should not be a problem unless one of the partner tries to dominate by forcing his/her believe onto the other partner. If such a thing does not happen, then I believe it can be a happy union.

arh , the sys does'n let me add in more than 5 choices , 'I'm not going to marry' is a good one !

you see, you partner might not try to dominate by forcing you to believe onto the other partner's religious but it will definitely have different point of view on each believe . when you have strong faith with you guru/buddha , will you wish to share with your partner/soulmate because you know it will definitely benefit them ?

to me , the best is to practice alone as 'I'm not going to marry' or  the partner that have same believe as you

Gypsy

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2012, 01:47:05 AM »
Well, to answer this question. Firstly, personally i wouldn't marry someone who is different religion with me because inter-faith marriage doesn't work on me. If i have a strong faith on my spiritual/religion practice, i will completely follow what my spiritual guide said and i will somehow expect my spouse to follow. How wonderful we as a married couple worship and practice the same religion and together we apply the teachings in life and benefit others?

if my spouse is from another religion, before we get married, there must be some sort of compromise or even conversion, sorry to say that. Well, this is just my own personal choice. However, for other people who believe and have faith in inter-religion marriage, I'm absolutely supportive. When two different religion individuals can come to a state of compromise, do not interfere or try to convert each other, practise on their own without disharmony or conflicts, benefit others using their knowledge gained from their respective religion, WHY NOT? Harmony is what we want, all religion should be united and there's only one goal we need to achieve that is PEACE.

kurava

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #24 on: January 12, 2012, 02:51:03 AM »
There are many cases of long lasting and happily ever after marriages between people of different faiths; similarly, there are also many divorces between couples of the same faith.

Religion is definitely a big factor in choosing our life partners but I don't think it is THE most important one.

True practitioners of any religion would be able to care and love others beyond the boundary of race and religion.

Of course, this is easier said than done. Given a choice, I would rather not marry someone of a different faith. Besides different spiritual practices, friction will arise in the religious upbringing of the next generation.
Further more, in our old age when our hormone and lust have dwindled down, growing old with someone on the same spiritual path is definitely more enriching than otherwise.

KhedrubGyatso

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #25 on: January 12, 2012, 04:54:39 AM »
Yes , why not.
I agree with what Kurava said here. Couples sharing same faith would be the ideal pairing . I believe  some religious orders do impose such conditions on their followers but I think it is more for the long term good of those concerned rather than meaning it to be dictatorial in a negative way.
One's faith should be kept private when we deal with ordinary events in our lives.The external manifestation of our individual practices should first and foremost be about benefitting others and having love and compassion for others.Who cares about how spiritual we are if we engage in actions which harms others, disrespectful of others right to happiness  or have no consideration for others feelings.
It is natural for us to want our partners to share our own beliefs etc. However, we should win them over by our example , not by label, force or by dogma.Buddhism is the most  tolerant religion because we believe in past, present and future lives. Hence, even if our partners don't ' switch over ' to our faith in this lifetime , we would have planted seeds in them to do so in future.

A lot of misery and unnecesary suffering had been caused  in the past and even now , when over zealous religious people or their organisation use more than persuasion and sincere love to convert their partners or others thus suppressing free will to decide.
There are no good reasons, be it rational, moral or spiritual  to use religion to split couples in love or to encourage segregation based on religion because it will only create disharmony , division and obstruction to world peace. If religion causes the above division and disruption, its credibility will be eroded and future generations will reject it because it promotes ' sepecism' and 'elitiscism' which leads to war and destruction of human race.


WisdomBeing

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #26 on: January 12, 2012, 02:32:24 PM »
This is an interesting thread. I guess it is highly personal and would depend on the two people in that particular relationship. As the question is asked would YOU marry someone who is of another religion, i would answer that personally, I would not. It is not that I believe interfaith relationships can last. It is just that personally, I would wish to walk the same spiritual path as my partner so that we can grow in the same direction. if we wanted to go to Manchester, i would prefer it if we both took the same vehicle - be it the train or the car together. Why would i want to go by car and he go by train? That wouldn't be much companionship. If he loves the train and i love the car, yes we would arrive at the same destination but we wouldn't be able to share the journey together and help each other along the way. For example, if my car had a flat tyre, he couldn't help me because he'd be on the train! Likewise, if i was struggling with some part of my spiritual journey, if my partner was in a different faith, he would not understand what i was going through nor could he help me through it aside from simply psychological or emotional support.

This does not mean that relationships between two people of different faiths cannot work. It's just my personal preference.
Kate Walker - a wannabe wisdom Being

hope rainbow

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #27 on: January 12, 2012, 02:51:17 PM »
I read all new posts here and I still think we are not saying it loud enough:

IF WE CAN'T LIVE HARMONIOUSLY WITHIN A COUPLE OF DIFFERENT FAITHS, WHAT KIND OF RELIGION(S) ARE WE PRACTICING?

Tenzin K

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #28 on: January 12, 2012, 03:47:24 PM »
Of course.
For a couple to get married they will need to understand each other and even tolerate each other characters. In this case what they need to do is to extend their tolerance for the religions differences.

Religions is to bring compassion and harmony. Each individual should respect and encourage their spouse religious. Instead of looking the differences of the believes they should look into the similarity and the quality that bring harmony to the family. I

In each country we have different cultures within the country but as long as the leader promote harmonious and respect the other cultures it will bring peace for the country.

Yes, it never be easy but if it's love that bring the couple together, the true practice of the religious will definitely bring harmonious. It's nothing about whose right or which is better but is all about benefiting each others and eventually we extend it to others.

dondrup

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Re: Would you marry someone that is another religions ?
« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2012, 03:49:54 AM »
Marrying a person of another faith has its challenges.  Those who thought of marrying must set a correct motivation right at the outset.  Marriage is a union of two complete different personalities; living and staying together till death do them apart.  There are a lot of responsibilities involved. The qualities expected of a marriage include: Integrity, love, compassion, selflessness, honesty, accepting the uniqueness of the spouse, patience, tolerance, harmony, giving, transforming oneself for the other and not changing other for oneself, protection, respect, responsibility, effort in making the marriage work, doing more for the other etc.  With the correct motivation, a person can marry a person of any faith. 

Without a proper motivation of why a person wants to marry, the marriage may not be successful.   We don’t even have to go further into inter-faith marriage. Inter-faith marriage brings more challenges into the married couples’ lives.  Sentient beings are full of delusions.  The scenarios before the marriage and after the marriage are completely different.  Most marrying couples put up their best front to woo the other partner prior to their marriage.  Once they are married, they let their guards down and become their original self.  That’s when the problem starts.  Each spouse has different perception or opinion of how things should be done. This difference can cause a major argument to arise! Eventually these differences become unmanageable and then form one of the main reasons why marriages had failed.  Statistics have shown there are more failed marriages than successful marriages.

Spiritual practitioners are advised to think carefully before embarking on the married life.  Can the practitioner handle more responsibilities and thus distractions in the married life?  Can the practitioner deal with attachment especially at the last moment of their life?  If the practitioner can, marriage is an opportunity to put Dharma into practice.

Despite all the above, Inter-faith marriage is a wonderful way to encourage harmony and understanding of the people from different racial, cultural and religious backgrounds.  The World needs peace, stability and harmony badly today.

To conclude, be it interfaith marriage or otherwise, it is important to understand why we want to get married.