Author Topic: Can I allow my children to let me die?  (Read 22014 times)

jeremyg

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #15 on: April 29, 2012, 12:50:13 PM »
If I was put in this dilemma i wouldn't know what to do. But i personally feel that in such a case I would let my parent live in the state. After all it is a purification of his/her bad karma, and thus leaving them in that state would make sure they wouldn't experience it in their next life. I would do prayers, and do as much to help them, because in their next life they could be born away from the dharma, so anything can happen. I'd rather help them with access to the dharma, than let them live an unpredictable next life.

Q

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #16 on: April 29, 2012, 01:38:04 PM »
Hmm... good question. Euthanasia has always been a hot topic and vastly debated not only among Buddhists, but people around the world in general.

When it comes to Euthanasia and Buddhism, it is safe to say that Buddhism is like a two sided coin (in a good way)... There are things that normal people perceive it to be wrong but can be the most appropriate thing to do for Buddhists, and it all boils down to motivation.

However, when it comes to euthanasia... just having a good motivation to carry out euthanasia is not enough... Why? because just like what everyone has already pointed out, we don't know where the terminally ill person will take rebirth if we let him/her go now. Unless, one is a renowed master/lama and his student also is a renowed lama that can see where the person that is being euthanized will take rebirth, and if the euthanized individual will take a better rebirth to benefit more people, then of course, no harm or bad karma is collected through euthanizing such a person. However, these type of situation is definitely very rare... therefore it is always safe to not take the chance especially when we are all regular people that are unable to see into a person's future life...

So, my point? It is very selfish of us to force our children on contract to make them carry out euthanasia for us if we are ever in the situation that qualifies us to do so... Instead, we should concentrate on encouraging them to commissioning pujas, and doing meritorious things to dedicate the merits to us when we're terminally ill... with the motivation that they will continue to do Dharma even after our death (if they're not into Dharma initially).

Aurore

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #17 on: April 29, 2012, 02:02:37 PM »
It would be a burden to my children if I don't request them to let me die. In a short run it will lessen their suffering however, in the long run it may not be so. Children has their obligations to their parents. Both have karmatic infinity. Children will suffer when their parents are old and sick, parents suffers giving birth and bringing up a child. Suffer now is better than suffering the consequences of killing whether there is consent or not. If this is the route we choose, both the parent and children will collect the negativ karma for killing. The parent will also collect negative karma for requesting their children to kill even though the motivation is not a bad motivation.

Best thing to do is live healthy for our loved ones, practice dharma and stop collecting negative body karma so that we die in a better manner or at peace. This way we will not burden anyone in future.

Positive Change

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #18 on: April 29, 2012, 06:23:55 PM »
This is an often tricky and sensitive topic as it goes against the principles of Buddhism yet in a way it does feel like the we are ending the suffering of someone... But is it? I reckon that is the whole point. We need to look at the bigger picture.

If we take the "easy" way out and end our life before it ends in order to reduce our pain and not, so call, inconvenience our love ones, are we doing this out of the motivation to benefit ourselves or other and does it really matter of the two?

Personally, if one is inclined to giving the power of attorney to their loved ones to end their life should they ever have to go through a karma of being a vegetable is being selfish! It sounds absolute because it is as the negative karma accumulate in killing oneself as well as instructing others to do the the act would be huge. Yes there will be negative karma I am sure. Karma is very black and white. Never grey. However the motivation behind it, makes the "repercussions" less or more... In this situation, one does not want to suffer and also not want others to suffer in having to look after them. Which one out weighs the other?

I do not have an answer for this but as I shared above, there IS and WILL be repercussions to which we will be bearing in our next life.

brian

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #19 on: April 30, 2012, 03:26:37 AM »
I am talking about euthanasia.

I take an example: I could tell my children that if, after an accident for example, I ever was in a situation of no more brain activity, yet with a body still functioning and reduced to a bed hospital until natural death occurs, I would prefer for them to let me go.
By informing my children of such and even signing papers about it, is it then all right (in karmic terms) for them to sign my "release" papers from the hospital so that I may end a life (mine) that was no more capable of actions nor had any more conscience?

What do think of this as a Buddhist?
Would you give such guidance to your children?
How would you react if your mother or father made such a request to you?


This is an interesting question. But i will let my self die because if i am ever to be in that state, i will not want to live as well. Take the suffering that i will be going through in my mind during that period out of the context, i won't want my children to suffer financially or emotionally to keep me alive with the life support machine. for them of course it will be very hard decision to make, but from my point of view is that we as Buddhist should not be a burden to anyone. We should take responsibility of our own life and if we can't do anything more than being reduced to be kept alive by the life support machine, i might as well end it.

From the moral context, it is not right for children to 'kill' their parent(s) in such circumstances and should do whatever they can to keep the parent(s) alive. it is deemed unfilial for many but sometimes we have to be logic and think from the parent's point of view.

yontenjamyang

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #20 on: April 30, 2012, 09:07:13 AM »
I will cheat here. Bring up your children to be Dharmic and for me and my children to have good Guru Devotion. Then any of the below may happen.

1) The condition for my children to have to make a decision would not arise as I wish to die peacefully.
2) If at all, that condition arises, then my children can ask the Guru for guidance.
3) If the Guru is unavailable, then we good motivations the children can make the correct decisions. It is all in the motivations. No arguments about whether the brain dead but the body is not etc etc. All in the motivations.

Also, this reminds us to practice well NOW, for we never know when and under what circumstances we will die. Best not to burden the children. Practice powa if possible; have strong Guru Devotion and hopefully, the Guru, Yidam and Protector can help at the point of death.

Otherwise, any amount of arguing about this topic will be pointless. I take it back. I am not cheating.

ratanasutra

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #21 on: April 30, 2012, 05:16:14 PM »
i think that even tho the parents asked the children to let go of them and let them die, i don't think any of children willing to do that. And beyond that there is a karmic result.

Since cause reflect in result why we not change a cause by instead of thinking that when we getting old and we might sick, have diseases or have bad incident until in coma state and brain dead and prepare by asking children for Euthanasia, why not we use our precious time that we have right now to do more virtuous actions eg do prayer and mantra daily, make donation to sangha or temple, volunteer in buddhist centre, attend puja or sponsor puja etc to create more merit so we not end up in a very bad situation when getting old.

What happen today is the result of yestauday and what is going to happen tomorrow is from what we are doing today.
Let change our future when we getting old by changing what we are doing today.. is that make sense?



 

Carpenter

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #22 on: April 30, 2012, 07:54:40 PM »
If it is for me to be in this stage, that means I have to karma to go through this, as long as I’m still not dead, any action of putting me to sleep is consider killing, killing is a very heavy karma more over for someone to kill their parents? I could not imagine how much negative the kids are receiving.

If due to we don’t want to suffer and we ask for euthanasia, this is very selfish, this means what? This means we asking someone to take on such heavy karma to help us to ‘release’ our suffering by not knowing that even if we escape from this karma, it will come back heavier in future life and we are gonna have big time with it. Do you think it is fair for others to perform such action?

Manjushri

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #23 on: May 02, 2012, 07:47:33 PM »
For one to end up being in that state would be a direct result of accumulated actions/karma from previous deeds. For the family members, having to go through the turmoil, the pain, the sadness and emotional rollercoaster is also a direct result of previous deeds. Therefore both parties have to undergo and experience it entirely to exhaust the karma that has been created from past actions.

If the parent asked to be euthanised, it would mean they choose to end their "suffering" early, and in the next life, would have to suffer again, this time maybe heavier. If the kid agrees, it may be for a few reasons:

1. to end the pain of their parent
2. to put their parent and others out of misery
3. although difficult to do, they may want to choose the best and most beneficial solution for both parties including minimizing the burden that the kid(s) would have to deal with should they not opt to euthanise the parent.

Therefore, choosing euthanasia is ending suffering and what you otherwise might have to endure, early. If we believe in karma, we would know that no matter what, it will return if not fully exhausted. And everyday we accumulate more just by living. If we choose to euthanise our parent, even at their consent, the result willl come back and bite us twice as hard. I wouldn't put my kids through that. I'd rather my kids say mantras by my bedside..at least my consciousness will have some imprints.

AnneQ

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #24 on: May 04, 2012, 03:34:45 PM »


The Dalai Lama, PhD, Tibetan head of state and spiritual leader, was cited by Agence-France Presse in a Sep. 18, 1996 article titled "Dalai Lama Backs Euthanasia in Exceptional Circumstances":
"The Dalai Lama boosted the spirits of supporters of legalised euthanasia here Wednesday [Sep. 18, 2009], saying mercy killing was permissable in certain exceptional circumstances under Buddhist philosophy...

Asked his view on euthanasia, the Dalai Lama said Buddhists believed every life was precious and none more so than human life, adding: 'I think it's better to avoid it...

'But at the same time I think with abortion, (which) Buddhism considers an act of killing... the Buddhist way is to judge the right and wrong or the pros and cons'...

He cited the case of a person in a coma with no possibility of recovery or a woman whose pregnancy threatened her life or that of the child or both where the harm caused by not taking action might be greater.

'These are, I think from the Buddhist viewpoint, exceptional cases,' he said. So it's best to be judged on a case by case basis."

Sep. 18, 1996    - Dalai Lama, PhD

Source: http://euthanasia.procon.org/view.answers.php?questionID=000158


Thank you for quoting the above source.

For some years I had struggled with whether I had done the right thing for terminating my pregnancy when it was discovered that the baby I was carrying was diagnosed as having a major alpha thalassemia, a genetic blood disorder that would have led the baby to suffer a cardiac arrest during my third trimester which would have in turn put my life in danger.
I found Buddhism soon after the incident and it has helped me put into perspective on whether what I did was right or wrong.
However, I sometimes do feel guilty that I had 'saved' my life by terminating the pregnancy and perhaps bought time for myself? Hence I always questioned myself:" Should I have allowed my unborn baby to let me die" instead?

valeriecheung

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #25 on: May 05, 2012, 06:04:15 PM »
I will not tell my children any decision or what to do to me, just let it be naturally because all this is personal karma. If one day i need to go through suffering like this which mean in my previous life must done somethings bad. No one can escape their own current/previous karma, the most important is stop create bad karma at the same time self transformation & benefit others to create good future karma. Or else do something spiritually dedicate merit to them is immediate action bring result instead of sitting there wasting time allow negative thought arise.


Tenzin K

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2012, 07:22:24 AM »
How can a person allow another person to kill? This creates great negative karma!

I’m so lucky to understand this through Buddhism teaching.

Speaking about ‘euthanasia’, termination of life a deliberate intervention undertaken with the express intention of ending a life, to relieve intractable suffering. Any suffering cause by their own previous action that create the karma. Of course it doesn’t meant we cannot do anything and just wait for the time.

Practically in my opinion as long as the person still alive we should follow the Buddhism way which is to generate more merit and dedicate for them. There is much beneficial to do while the person still a life. When a person dies they will bring along the negative karma to their next life. Why not purify it while they still can and dedicate for a good condition for their good rebirth.

Create as much merits as possible while we still can and while we still a life and we still have the great opportunity.

Midakpa

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2012, 09:51:48 AM »
As with any issue that involves religious ethics, it is better to deal with this on a case to case basis. H.H. the Dalai Lama (quoted above) is very wise to mention exceptional cases where euthanasia can be administered. It is a matter of choosing the lesser of the two evils. Which action is kinder?

Buddhism is not a dogmatic religion. Even if there are rules (against killing etc), there are also exceptions to the rules. So it is wise to study each individual case before deciding what to do. In this particular case, if the children would feel guilty if they followed their parent's instruction, then it is better not to force them. I would certainly consider their feelings about it.

Gypsy

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2012, 05:56:31 PM »
Before i learn about law of cause and effect, i would definitely let my children to put me on euthanasia if they see me suffer from severe illness or at the stage of being "vegetable".

Now that I've understand karma, i wouldn't encourage my children to actually "kill" me. As we know even we end our life by our own will, the karma wont exhaust, we still need to suffer in our future lives. Killing is such a severe negative cause that will definitely bring us down to the lower 3 realm, being a mother, how could i let my children do so?

Big Uncle

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Re: Can I allow my children to let me die?
« Reply #29 on: May 20, 2012, 07:23:16 AM »
I would not tell my kids to pull the plug if I ever knew that was going to happen. I would tell them to make their own decision based upon the teachings of cause and effect. They should be adult enough to make their own decisions. I would however, tell them to take care of each other, donate their time, effort and resources to the Dharma and study the Lamrim. Also, I would tell them to perform pujas for my rebirth and not be too greedy over the wealth I have left them but to donate a large chunk to charities and my Lama's organisation. I think, those would be better things to tell my children before I die.

On the other hand, if I were a kid of such an adult, I would not pull the plug but try to find altenative opinions with doctors and exhaust all possible ways. Simultaneously, i would do a lot of Dorje Shugden pujas and consult qualified Lamas for other pujas that will benefit that parent. I would never pull the plug not just because that would be killing but there is perhaps karma that is unfinished that I owe this parent so i would have to exhaust it by doing my best to find ways to heal this parent.