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General Buddhism => General Buddhism => Topic started by: Tammy on January 16, 2012, 01:49:15 AM
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Why are some deities appear with 'consort'?
How do we explain to kids when they see these stautes?
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They are the wives of the Buddha ;D
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??? err..... they are also buddha
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Why are some deities appear with 'consort'?
How do we explain to kids when they see these stautes?
For kids, I'd make it simple. I'd explain to them that they represent the male and female energies like the yin and yang. The statue helps us in our meditation and in this instance we need to use both of these energies.
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Quote from: Tammy on January 16, 2012, 09:49:15 AM
Why are some deities appear with 'consort'?
How do we explain to kids when they see these stautes?
For kids, I'd make it simple. I'd explain to them that they represent the male and female energies like the yin and yang. The statue helps us in our meditation and in this instance we need to use both of these energies.
To add to Klein, we can tell the kids that the buddhas are in a meditational position that will help us in our practice. And there is nothing wrong to be in the position.
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Why are some deities appear with 'consort'?
How do we explain to kids when they see these stautes?
For kids, I'd make it simple. I'd explain to them that they represent the male and female energies like the yin and yang. The statue helps us in our meditation and in this instance we need to use both of these energies.
That is very confusing to kids, why not just explain that the consort is actually the wife of the Buddha. If further explaination, on why they embrace each other. I would tell them dun be rude.
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Why are some deities appear with 'consort'?
How do we explain to kids when they see these stautes?
For kids, I'd make it simple. I'd explain to them that they represent the male and female energies like the yin and yang. The statue helps us in our meditation and in this instance we need to use both of these energies.
That is very confusing to kids, why not just explain that the consort is actually the wife of the Buddha. If further explaination, on why they embrace each other. I would tell them dun be rude.
Maybe can tell the kids that they are in a yoga position. And they are practicing yoga. That's the truth, Tantric yoga.
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Only my opinion, but would it be better if we choose not to expose young children to buddha statues that look too sexual until they are a at a age where they can understand or an explanation can be understood by them?
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Kids are very inquisitive and ask a lot of questions. For younger kids, it is alright to give them a simple answer. However for older kids, they may want to know more besides the female and male energies or the yin and yang.
For example, we can explain to them that the Buddha shown in intimate union with his consort represents the union of wisdom, compassion which eventually using skillful methods will reach enlightenment. It is a type of control visualization which are restricted to advanced practitioners.
If they ask more, teach them about basic Buddhism so that they can apply some dharma in their lives when they are young and they may end up to be advanced practitioners in future.
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Kids like to know more especially if we suppress or don't give them answers. So, we should give them answers. However, I felt there is no need to specifically talk about the too much details.
I would just tell the kids they represent ying and yang, and it is used to teach people how to move their energy (qi).
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At first when i saw statues with consort i was in shocked too, then later on when i heard the explanation of someone who has great dharma knowledge, i accept his explanation and start to embrace...
Well as for kid, if possible, i wouldn't let them see the statues, it's not asking them to avoid seeing things like that. I just want to avoid them think negatively towards Buddhism if they have the wrong perception and they are not nurtured or explained well why those deities need consort? To kids, one female and one male Buddha in that awkward position, normally would lead ignorant people's mind go wild, and eventually misunderstand the purpose and meaning behind it.
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I haven't been around that many kids but the few I have been around with didn't react negatively towards yab-yum statues.
Rather, they were interested to know why it looks like that, similar to them being curious about the wrathful expressions of other deities. I find kids are very open and trusting.
I don't see the need to hide yam-yum statues from them... neither is there a need to specially draw their attention to it.
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I don't think we need to hide these statues.. as for what kind of explanation to give to kids, I think it depends on the age. If they are too young to understand, then we can just give a broad answer. I would prefer not to go down the husband and wife route... it could raise more questions than answers.
i've actually been asked by a kid before why that yabyum statue is "Like that". We were in a store and he was about 9 years old and because i do prefer to answer kids' questions as fully as possible rather than fob them off with something, i did give the explanation about the two Buddhas in union representing qualities and that it's symbolic. While hearing myself explaining, I was wondering to myself whether I could even understand what i was saying!!! The kid looked at me and said okay. I'm not sure if he understood but I think kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for these days.
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This is a sensitive and tricky issue. I am inclined to agree with what DSF n WB.
The responsibility I believe rests on the parents or Buddhists adults to give correct explanations according to their evaluation of the kids' level of maturity..
In this modern era of internet, most kids are already exposed to coupling figures etc , intentional or otherwise. I always believe if we are onto something good or beneficial, there is no reason to hide the object even if there is some risk of aversion or rejection initially. A big advantage in being open is that we can correct misunderstandings and wrong perceptions through explaining. Hiding or keeping the object in secret only increase speculation and gossip and adds weight that it is something sinister which we don't want others to find out.
My experience with my own children is to educate and expose them to everything as they grow up so they have a balanced view of things, both good and bad. At the end of the day, it is still their perception that counts and that will not necessarily be due to what we tell them now.
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With kids, i would usually just explain that they are the wife of the Buddha.
But in the first place, HYT images are supposed to be covered and not shown to the public, specifically to prevent problems like these, so that you dont need to explain. The best thing is if you are not able to explain or you are sure the receipient wont understand, dont show it to them. Can explain if they saw it elsewhere tho.
My HYT images are covered, except for those already in my room.
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This question can atually be extended to adults as I find that it is actualy often more difficult to explain the images of Buddhas in consorts union to adults than it is to children.
Children are actually much more open minded as they do not project "moral values" or "good/bad concepts" onto what they see.
Children also have an experience of sexuality that is very different from the desire-driven (or even guilt-driven) sexuality of most adults.
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My grand kids hang around my place often. Surprisingly they never asked such questions.
I think when we don't hide or view statues of embracing deities as taboo, the young innocent minds just accept them naturally like they accept the sun and the moon.
Often, it is the adults' reaction or over reaction that give rise to confusion and negative connotation to buddha statues with consorts.
However, if my grand kids ask me, I would explain that the buddhas are expressing love to each other just like how they like to hug their mom and dad ;D
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This question can atually be extended to adults as I find that it is actualy often more difficult to explain the images of Buddhas in consorts union to adults than it is to children.
Children are actually much more open minded as they do not project "moral values" or "good/bad concepts" onto what they see.
Children also have an experience of sexuality that is very different from the desire-driven (or even guilt-driven) sexuality of most adults.
This is so true.... When tend to project our own perceptions, delusions and the way we think when explaining to kids. Sometimes it is best to just bite the bullet and tell it as it is. I find when talking or explaining to my God children, it is best to talk to them as I would an adult and not try to circumnavigate or talk down to them. Reason being, if the topic is too complicated or risqué then they would naturally lose interest or it would just go "past their heads" anyway... hence no "embarrassing" issues to explain further really. The embarrassment often comes from us and not them. And if they understand all the better... :)
With regards to the topic at hand, I would really try to explain it like I would another adult. Explaining to them the significance or rather the iconography of perhaps the Buddha image at hand and what it signifies etc. Rather than go into the "sexual" connotations, which if you think about it, when it comes to Tantra it isnt about that anyway! The very misconception of Tantra as something sexual is prevalent in these times that the very thought of explaining it to children actually makes us "embarrassed". My question is why should it? :P
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Sexuality and desire is the Hallmark of Vajrayana teachings and its resultant imagery. In the past, such imagery and practices were hidden and only revealed to the initiated. However, children are very educated and exposed these days and one way or another, they would find out the answer or they would be exposed to it anyway. It would be good if they were educated in a simple, yet easy to understand manner so they are not taught or exposed with something wayward or wrong.
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I would like to add to the very good comments by BU.
We should not take kids for granted nowadays due to the amount of info that is freely accessible to them. I don't think explanations like birds and bees which was std advice decades back will work in present day. Kids get lots of info and education not only from us but from their peers , media and other influences.If we do not explain correctly, or take time to address their questions well, chances are they will slowly not trust us and start being influenced by other sources of info. An example is when Buddhists cannot provide a good response to people who accuse us of praying to idols and statues. Without a convincing explanation, they will find answers elsewhere which may reinforce their doubts.
Keeping the statues or imagery covered as in public places of worship , temples etc , is appropriate. In our homes, there is no risk of disturbing the sensitivities of others as we can have lots of time to explain and educate our family members or even friends who visit.
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Sexuality and desire is the Hallmark of Vajrayana teachings and its resultant imagery. In the past, such imagery and practices were hidden and only revealed to the initiated. However, children are very educated and exposed these days and one way or another, they would find out the answer or they would be exposed to it anyway. It would be good if they were educated in a simple, yet easy to understand manner so they are not taught or exposed with something wayward or wrong.
Thank you Big Uncle for the suggestion, we should bring our kids to dharma from young, that's the only way to make sure they are taught the right way spiritually. Children's minds are like sponge, they absorb
whatever is given to them.. hence early education is vital in their upbringing.
No more - 'you are too young to know!'
No more - 'don't look!'
Our younger generation deserves the knowledge and blessings of DS!
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"This question can atually be extended to adults as I find that it is actualy often more difficult to explain the images of Buddhas in consorts union to adults than it is to children."
Thank you, Hope Rainbow for the above observation when asked how to answer children should they see buddha statutes in union.
I read through all the contributions in this article and cannot find the real answer whereby we can answer to a child or an adult. Can some one enlighten me so that I can truly understand and explain.
It was very fortunate that I was taught the iconography of Vajrayogini and I can explain it should be asked.
Shall appreciate your explanation in a Dharmic way. Thank you.