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General Buddhism => General Buddhism => Topic started by: Helena on February 21, 2011, 04:18:48 PM
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I found this wonderful article and thought it would be good to share with everyone.
Source: http://siddhalishree.com/blog/letting-go-of-expectations-on-the-spiritual-path
Letting Go of Expectations on the Spiritual Path
Written by Sadhvi Siddhali Shree Friday, 13 August 2010 09:35
Expectations are one of the greatest hindrances to spiritual seekers. As we start our spiritual path and learn about others’ experiences (and they sound very cool!), we begin to have expectations for our own path. The questions subtly come up, “When is it going to happen to me? When am I going to have those deep meditation experiences? When will I taste soul? How am I ever going to have ultimate knowledge?” Everyone has different expectations for their own path. I used to have many as well, until one day, I realized you have to let go of all your goals to begin to even taste true spirituality.
The Expectation Formula
Where there are expectations, there is tension. Where there is tension, there is no relaxation. Where there is no relaxation, meditation does not happen. It’s a very simple formula. When we expect something in our spiritual path, we will not get it. Once we let it go, the chances increase to experience it.
Early Spiritual Expectations
For beginning meditators, they want to taste on their first meditation attempt, what experienced meditators feel – peace, calmness, happiness. When the beginner realizes meditation is quite difficult in the beginning (because of that constant talking mind) they make a decision to either drop it or try and continue it. The beginner expected great results right away after a 5-10 minute attempt. But, those who are experienced meditators know that to taste peace, relaxation takes time, discipline and practice. We also know that its not guaranteed we will have “super deep meditations” every time we sit down and close our eyes. Expectations can keep us off the path.
What are Expectations?
Expectations are based on results we think should happen. What we think should happen are based on other people’s experiences, or what we’ve read or learned, or what society says. That is why we must first learn to go with the flow, without any expectation, and unlearn all the ideologies and beliefs we have.
Letting Go of Expectations
Dissolving 100% the beliefs and ideologies that have been embedded within us takes years....a lot of time. Since we were babies, we were taught how to think, feel, act, react, believe, and what to expect. To rid ourselves of the society embedded mind takes a lot of effort. It’s scary, too, in the sense that we are letting go of something that feels safe and secure to us – we let go of who we believe we are. Dissolving our mind is scary, but we cannot proceed to any higher forms of truth without dissolving it. Our mind is the illusion that separates us from soul. The mind is not the instrument to know the soul.
My Expectations
The reason I am bringing up expectations is because I had them too. I know its one of many hurdles on the path to let go of. Acharya Shree Yogeesh would always remind me to never have expectations, because I will never be satisfied or content. He said if I expected deep meditations, it won’t happen. If I expected enlightenment, then I have not learned or understood anything. He reminds me that, “Life is always flowing. Where there is flow, soul is there. Where there is resistance [expectation], truth cannot be realized.”
My suggestion for you is to let go of your expectations. Be ready to even let go of all the spiritual things you have learned, because sometimes even those once helpful ideologies might block you as you advance. You don’t need a full mind of knowledge to know your true self. It is the opposite. To realize yourself, you must have an empty mind.
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I have a different take on this. I don't think I can completely let go of expectations in my spiritual practice at my level yet. So I just practice never giving up and continually trying to be better and never say I want to quit from my spiritual practice. At my level (which I assume most people are), we will always have all manner of emotional situations due to expectations and various circumstances so never reacting negatively or when things are screwed up, just apologizing and doing our best to make up is a good practice. I think that will eventually help us achieve the state that we completely not have expectations.
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I am inclined to agree with the view expressed in the article presented by Helena. Expectations carry a ‘negative’ connotation of a strong attachment to the fulfillment of our expectations. If what we expect to experience doesn’t take place, we are extremely disappointed often to the point of giving up trying.
Thus for me, as a beginner on the spiritual path, I have to keep cautioning myself against having expectations, especially unrealistic ones. Yet, we need to have a certain commitment towards certain goals that are important. These goals cannot be couched in specific terms and cannot be attained within a short and definite time frame. They are goals like attaining a compassionate mind. However, for developing a mind of compassion, for instance, we have to keep a mental check on ourselves that we are moving forward in that direction in our spiritual practice.
Here is an example of how one can keep a mental check.Take, for instance , a guideline of the path to developing Bodhicitta(Great Compassion) as contained in the lovely Eight Verses of Thought/Mind Transformation. One example is stanza Three:
“In all my actions, I will examine my mind.
The moment a disturbing attitude arises,
Endangering myself and others,
I will firmly confront and avert it.”
If we check ourselves on a daily basis, as we recite these words in prayer and meditation, we will be more and more mindful of our actions of body, speech and mind, on a daily basis. This to me is ‘tangible’ progress on the spiritual path to developing Bodhicitta, using a lovely guideline. We don’t carry on our shoulders the burden of expectations, but we are committed to progressing surely and definitely towards our goal of developing Bodhicitta.
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Thank you, Vajrastorm for your wonderful sharing and explanation.
That verse which you quoted from the 8 Verses of Thought Transformation is also one of my favourite lines.
My Guru always advise us to be diligent and steadfast in guarding the fortress of our minds. The moment we sense a disturbing thought, we should quickly attack it. Because such negative thoughts, no matter how insignificant they may appear to be, will do the most harm - not to just ourselves, but also to those around us.
It is similar to a terminal highly contagious disease. It will kill you and take everyone's lives along as well. Rather horrifying, actually.
Hence, I find expectations very harmful. Because it disturbs one's equanimity/balanced view.
These words of yours are the ones which impressed me the most.
We don’t carry on our shoulders the burden of expectations, but we are committed to progressing surely and definitely towards our goal of developing Bodhicitta.
Bodhichitta includes everyone and embraces everyone as the same. Equanimity is the key to cultivating a true genuine care and concern for others.
Expectations just ruin everything else. Because most of the time, they are unrealistic, as you rightly said.
Most of our expectations revolve around preserving self interests. Hence, it is not about everyone, but completely self-centered.
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I found this wonderful article and thought it would be good to share with everyone.
Source: [url]http://siddhalishree.com/blog/letting-go-of-expectations-on-the-spiritual-path[/url] ([url]http://siddhalishree.com/blog/letting-go-of-expectations-on-the-spiritual-path[/url])
Letting Go of Expectations on the Spiritual Path
Written by Sadhvi Siddhali Shree Friday, 13 August 2010 09:35
Expectations are one of the greatest hindrances to spiritual seekers. As we start our spiritual path and learn about others’ experiences (and they sound very cool!), we begin to have expectations for our own path. The questions subtly come up, “When is it going to happen to me? When am I going to have those deep meditation experiences? When will I taste soul? How am I ever going to have ultimate knowledge?” Everyone has different expectations for their own path. I used to have many as well, until one day, I realized you have to let go of all your goals to begin to even taste true spirituality.
The Expectation Formula
Where there are expectations, there is tension. Where there is tension, there is no relaxation. Where there is no relaxation, meditation does not happen. It’s a very simple formula. When we expect something in our spiritual path, we will not get it. Once we let it go, the chances increase to experience it.
Early Spiritual Expectations
For beginning meditators, they want to taste on their first meditation attempt, what experienced meditators feel – peace, calmness, happiness. When the beginner realizes meditation is quite difficult in the beginning (because of that constant talking mind) they make a decision to either drop it or try and continue it. The beginner expected great results right away after a 5-10 minute attempt. But, those who are experienced meditators know that to taste peace, relaxation takes time, discipline and practice. We also know that its not guaranteed we will have “super deep meditations” every time we sit down and close our eyes. Expectations can keep us off the path.
What are Expectations?
Expectations are based on results we think should happen. What we think should happen are based on other people’s experiences, or what we’ve read or learned, or what society says. That is why we must first learn to go with the flow, without any expectation, and unlearn all the ideologies and beliefs we have.
Letting Go of Expectations
Dissolving 100% the beliefs and ideologies that have been embedded within us takes years....a lot of time. Since we were babies, we were taught how to think, feel, act, react, believe, and what to expect. To rid ourselves of the society embedded mind takes a lot of effort. It’s scary, too, in the sense that we are letting go of something that feels safe and secure to us – we let go of who we believe we are. Dissolving our mind is scary, but we cannot proceed to any higher forms of truth without dissolving it. Our mind is the illusion that separates us from soul. The mind is not the instrument to know the soul.
My Expectations
The reason I am bringing up expectations is because I had them too. I know its one of many hurdles on the path to let go of. Acharya Shree Yogeesh would always remind me to never have expectations, because I will never be satisfied or content. He said if I expected deep meditations, it won’t happen. If I expected enlightenment, then I have not learned or understood anything. He reminds me that, “Life is always flowing. Where there is flow, soul is there. Where there is resistance [expectation], truth cannot be realized.”
My suggestion for you is to let go of your expectations. Be ready to even let go of all the spiritual things you have learned, because sometimes even those once helpful ideologies might block you as you advance. You don’t need a full mind of knowledge to know your true self. It is the opposite. To realize yourself, you must have an empty mind.
Thanks for the helpful article. However letting go of our expectations will take a long time. As Big Uncle states, it's easier to hold on to our spiritual path and never give up. If we keep hanging on to letting go of our expectations, we'll end up more frustrated and distracted from our practice.
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I found this wonderful article and thought it would be good to share with everyone.
Source: [url]http://siddhalishree.com/blog/letting-go-of-expectations-on-the-spiritual-path[/url] ([url]http://siddhalishree.com/blog/letting-go-of-expectations-on-the-spiritual-path[/url])
Letting Go of Expectations on the Spiritual Path
Written by Sadhvi Siddhali Shree Friday, 13 August 2010 09:35
Expectations are one of the greatest hindrances to spiritual seekers. As we start our spiritual path and learn about others’ experiences (and they sound very cool!), we begin to have expectations for our own path. The questions subtly come up, “When is it going to happen to me? When am I going to have those deep meditation experiences? When will I taste soul? How am I ever going to have ultimate knowledge?” Everyone has different expectations for their own path. I used to have many as well, until one day, I realized you have to let go of all your goals to begin to even taste true spirituality.
The Expectation Formula
Where there are expectations, there is tension. Where there is tension, there is no relaxation. Where there is no relaxation, meditation does not happen. It’s a very simple formula. When we expect something in our spiritual path, we will not get it. Once we let it go, the chances increase to experience it.
Early Spiritual Expectations
For beginning meditators, they want to taste on their first meditation attempt, what experienced meditators feel – peace, calmness, happiness. When the beginner realizes meditation is quite difficult in the beginning (because of that constant talking mind) they make a decision to either drop it or try and continue it. The beginner expected great results right away after a 5-10 minute attempt. But, those who are experienced meditators know that to taste peace, relaxation takes time, discipline and practice. We also know that its not guaranteed we will have “super deep meditations” every time we sit down and close our eyes. Expectations can keep us off the path.
What are Expectations?
Expectations are based on results we think should happen. What we think should happen are based on other people’s experiences, or what we’ve read or learned, or what society says. That is why we must first learn to go with the flow, without any expectation, and unlearn all the ideologies and beliefs we have.
Letting Go of Expectations
Dissolving 100% the beliefs and ideologies that have been embedded within us takes years....a lot of time. Since we were babies, we were taught how to think, feel, act, react, believe, and what to expect. To rid ourselves of the society embedded mind takes a lot of effort. It’s scary, too, in the sense that we are letting go of something that feels safe and secure to us – we let go of who we believe we are. Dissolving our mind is scary, but we cannot proceed to any higher forms of truth without dissolving it. Our mind is the illusion that separates us from soul. The mind is not the instrument to know the soul.
My Expectations
The reason I am bringing up expectations is because I had them too. I know its one of many hurdles on the path to let go of. Acharya Shree Yogeesh would always remind me to never have expectations, because I will never be satisfied or content. He said if I expected deep meditations, it won’t happen. If I expected enlightenment, then I have not learned or understood anything. He reminds me that, “Life is always flowing. Where there is flow, soul is there. Where there is resistance [expectation], truth cannot be realized.”
My suggestion for you is to let go of your expectations. Be ready to even let go of all the spiritual things you have learned, because sometimes even those once helpful ideologies might block you as you advance. You don’t need a full mind of knowledge to know your true self. It is the opposite. To realize yourself, you must have an empty mind.
Thanks for the helpful article. However letting go of our expectations will take a long time. As Big Uncle states, it's easier to hold on to our spiritual path and never give up. If we keep hanging on to letting go of our expectations, we'll end up more frustrated and distracted from our practice.
I think the gist of the article posted by Helena is that we should let our experience flow and not to expect a certain result to come out of it. Having said that, the spiritual seeker should also have the ultimate goal in mind, which is liberation.
Having expectations will lead to disappointments and eventually may lead to a fall out. Having faith that you will progress in your spiritual path is more important than expecting a certain result to turn up from meditation or prayer session. Every persons growth is different and should not compare with another person.
It is always good to begin anything with a blank sheet of paper i.e. an empty mind and that has more potential for growth than a mind filled with beliefs and certain outcomes that will occur.
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It's not easy to let go our expectation on any other things we do because we tend expect certain returns from what ever things we do.
In our spiritual path, having expectation will bring us to disappointment and eventually give up. This is what we worry about. Personally i feel that we should give up on samsara acts but not spiritual but because of most of us have been brought up in samsara way where we perceive samsara needs/attachment to something temporary is what make us happy is true.
Letting go our expectation in spiritual path is to let go "giving up" & let go the "result that we expected".
With this whatever difficulties we face in our spiritual journey we will keep move on because we will continue even though we fall and our ultimate goal is to achieve liberation where we are good with having it and good without it too. Expectation is just doesn't exist anymore or no effect on us.
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Having expectations in general usually lead to disappointments especially since that in reality, nothing really matches our expectations. Even if out expectations are met, we would go into a circle, developing more, higher expectations, and eventually, lead to our disappointment and if we cannot get over the result and remain attached, we may fall into depression.
Expectations can drive one to perform, to work harder to achieve that desired result, which can be a good motivation factor, but the key to it is that if things don't go the way that you expect it to be, then let it go. On a spiritual path, there should be no or minimal expectations, (although expectations are hard to let go) as it can be distracting.
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Like Buddha before us, letting go of expectations is gaining freedom. Once we let go of trying to control or expect the results to be what we want, life seems to flow with greater ease. Why force on it? Forcing and expecting them the way we want it make us and people around us to suffer pain and unhappiness.
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There is two side of the coin to look at this. To totally not have any expectations can also lead to disappointment cos it can easily be misinterpreted as not having to push oneself to improve or achieve anything? With the right concept and understanding of how things are impermanent but yet having some kind of goal is necessary for us to stay focus on the path we want to be on. In this case the spiritual path. It would be rather easy for people to use having "no expectation" on their spiritual path to not do much and use it to be laid back.
For instance we could always take one verse from the Eight Verses of Mind Transformation and practice one verse as a goal to achieving to curb one negative habits till we can go on to the next. So the type of expectations if any one should have, would be one that would help up stay focus and strong with our practice and on the spiritual path.
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Letting go of expectations to me is unrealistic.
As for disappointments, it is only disappointing because we are attached to what results should look like and when it does not look a certain way we get all too absorbed in being disappointed. This is a waste of time. When we fall we just get back up and go.
Expectations should be used in a positive way to set benchmarks and goals we can aim to achieve. It can be used to gauge our progress forward, especially in our spiritual path. We can think that spiritual progress is intangible but it is not. Mind transformation can be measured, it can be seen and felt. We should expect from ourselves, by removing expectations we will become complacent and just leave it to luck and Buddha... Buddha helps all, and if we help ourselves too, it will sure be faster to enlightenment.
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From what I understand, Buddhism teaches us that all phenomenon are empty. From my unrealized understanding, "empty" does not mean nothingness..but rather its nature is empty of inherent existence. Basically, whatever i make out to be does not necessarily exists as how i think it to be.
For samsaric beings, projections arise from a mind lacking in clarity and wisdom, infused by wrong views. In short, the deluded mind!
We get disappointed perhaps is not that expectations are evil and we shouldn't have them... but could be because we place our expectations on incorrect projections.
I do have expectations that by putting in effort to study and practice the dharma, I will have a long lasting, happier mind. There is a surety that I won't be disappointed because this method has been proven.
Perhaps we get disappointed is because we "placed the bet on the wrong horse" Thus what we need to let go off is not about expectations but wrong views.
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I think in the spiritual path or in any endeavor it is really not possible to truly let go of expectations. Paradoxically, the letting go is also an expectation. To achieve this letting go is itself an attainment; so it is really chicken or egg first.
I think the to be zen about it, we should not expect anything nor not not expect anything. However, practically, we can set small goals along the path such as be able to let others win, more and more, to be able meditate 5 mins to 10 mins etc. Each time an obstacle arises, just be patience and move on. Never give up. Set goals but do not worry too much.just do it.It is also to have joy in our practice. Otherwise, we will give up. So the perfection of effort applies to other perfections or practice or endeavor be it spiritual or worldly; we must have aspiration ie goals or expectations....??!!, confidence of our guru and practice, have joy..always be content with what is achieved or not achieved and strive on, and lastly relax when it us needed ie take breaks. Enjoy the practice. That is why we see high monks are very joyful.
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Thanks Helena, I like the article very much, that is something in my mind recently.
Letting go expectation is very useful to apply especially dealing with people or working in a team. Most of the people don't have the same expectation as you do, so you will have much disappointment and anger if you hold on to your own expectation. If you see clearly, not meeting your expectation is not their fault, it's our fault that didn't explain and nurture them and get them to do this way.
And I like a quote in the movie "Seven Years in Tibet", a Tibetan girl is explaining to Brad Pitt about the different between spiritual and the world Brad came from: in life, it's not about what we have, but what we let go.
Letting go is a simple but not easy, but it brings tremendous good result if we work towards it.
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We suffer because we can’t let go of expectations. When we have expectations due to the way we perceive and it does not turn out the way it is, we get disappointed. Even though if the expectations are met, we will still not be satisfied and expect higher expectations. This is good as it makes us perform and work better. Thus when we want to pursue our spiritual journey it is good to have expectations as it will push us to a more focus and correct path.
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Expectations can work as the raft that helps give a platform or something tangible for our spiritual goals. But when it is time to let go, it is time to let go but it is usually really hard to let go of them when we are required to. Expectations are like the carrot on the stick unless we have developed a certain level of realizations where we no longer need to be coddled to do our Dharma practice, or rather offered any incentive to do our Dharma practice. It is what motivates us to initially practice, but it also becomes our biggest obstacle to realizations at a stage.
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Are expectations same as goals? If taken in a positive way, expectations can be a good motivation to be better in living our lives and doing better in our work.
The negative aspect to expectations is judgements on results. We need to accept results without comparison to what is expected but rather accept it and then continue. Often said is that it is the journey to our goals that is the learning and not the goal itself. As we learn, our expectations will not stop us but to eventually achieve our goal in life.
As Buddhists, we strive for enlightenment. The question is when? So I feel expectations are not negative but not accepting results per expectations may be for many of us.
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This is a very good topic to discuss, as we often meet this awkward situation everyday. As long as we deal with people, be it work or family, there are expectations at different level. The more that we expect from others, the more we are opening ourselves to being disappointed.
When we talk about spiritual happiness, which is spiritual seeker's ultimate goal, expectation and disappointment are something we need to get rid of before we can gain happiness. Most of the sufferings are created by disappointments and it's self created. We can have expectations, but it's good to keep within reasons, sometimes expectations can be motivational and encouraging. When one has an empty and open mind, he is likely to be a giving, kind, compassionate and joyous person. A giving person will not expect things to be in return and that will not lead him to disappointment.
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Expectation is in our mind every moment. Expectation has two side of a coin. It can be positive and also negative. One should practice not to have expectation but it is not that easy. The lowest that I’m able to provide is to help bit by bit without receiving or hoping for return. Hopefully with this it can creates causes to reduce and remove my expectation on things.
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The practice of 'letting go" is very effective for minds obsessed by compulsive thinking.But how does this work out practically?Usually not without a great deal of intention,effort, and patience with yourself.The spiritual life requires us to constantly examine and even revise our ideas.Like Buddha said ,"letting go is gaining freedom" once we let go of trying to control everything,life seems to flow with greater ease.Expectations are like fairy tales and myths,they are alluring but ultimately leaves us illusioned and disappointed,which are the forebearers of suffering.It is easier said than done as it takes a lot of hard work.
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Expectations are exactly that... we expect something from a certain situation or certain someone. To have or rather, put expectations on our spiritual path is like thinking we know what it would be like going on a trip merely from reading the brochures.
As we all know, it is often never that way we perceive... most often than not it ends up in disappointment and sometimes it is a delight. Why? Not because the destination was at fault or the cause of either... but the perceptions and expectations we had put on it. We all think we know better, especially in a situation where it is most personal, our spiritual journey.
Leave one's expectations at the door when embarking on a spiritual journey and it will be the most fulfilling one I think!
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I think what Helena meant here of "Letting go of expectations" is that ..........during the journey in our spiritual path, we do not let "what should happen next" be the hurdle that may hinder or even stop us from pursuing the ultimate goal.
We always like to compare our results with others, but the spiritual journey of each and every single one of us is unique and different, each person starts with a different "baggage" so to say, so the experience will be will be different in some ways.
I agree with many who have commented here, while "letting go" our expectation in the journey, it does not mean that we "give up". Infact, we should never give up......of course the final goal of the spiritual journey is enlightenment, free of all suffering......so while we strive towards this "lasting happiness", we enjoy the "flow" and "experience" during the course as part of the learning curve.
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Thank you everyone for all your opinions. They are very interesting and enlightening.
Reading these posts have brought to mind a survey I once came across that compared the level of happiness and contentment in different societies among Asian countries. Interestingly it was discovered that people living in poorer and less developed cities scored better in the happiness scale as compared to those living in more affluent and developed cities. The reason being that people in poorer and less advanced countries had no expectations and made the best of whatever few or little resources they had. Whereas in richer and more developed countries, people's expectations were very high and were less compromising. A simple example, say the public transportation system. In less advanced countries, the system is constantly breaking down but people were fine with it as they never expected it to work properly and were only too happy to take the bus even if it took hours to turn up. But in a more affluent society, even if there was a minor problem like the bus was a couple of minutes late, people easily became frustrated and angry. The conclusion was very simple: that people living in less advanced countries were happier with what life has to offer and people living in richer and more advanced environments were easily stressed and unhappy.
So in relation to our spiritual practice, I wonder if one shouldn't let high expectations get in one's way of striving for peace and happiness in life?
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When we are in the spiritual path, I agreed that letting go of expectation will make us achieve faster in the path.
I always think that even not in the spiritual path, in a secular manner, When you stop expecting a certain behaviour from others, you free yourself to see more clearly. You will start to observe what they actually do, instead of constantly seeing the gap between what they do and what you want them to do.
In the process of spiritual path, if we have a lot of self judgement and expectations will eventually create sufferings.
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When we have expectations whether on the spiritual path or in our secular world it is created from our projections in our mind. If those expectations did not turned out as we expected we will feel disappointed. I think it is better to let go of expectations so that if we achieve something we will appreciate it as it will be a bonus to us. By letting go of our attachments and not holding on to expectations our projections will be more clear and when we achieved something we will feel happy and be contented. We will find it more fulfilling.
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When I was younger, my parents used to have a lot of expectations on me. Even now, they expect me to be the common successful, high profile quality they did not have. In this case, expectations come from what we do not have and hence we expect other people especially the ones close to us to excel and be the person they themselves did not become. They have now placed the expectations and hopes on other people.
And the cycle goes on and on.
On a spiritual path, one learns to have less attachments and desires. This will in turn lessen the expectations of a person. They will no longer hold on the the items, fame, wealth they don't have, hence not expecting anymore and at the same time do not expect other people ie their children to chase their dreams for them. This will set a good example to children as well for it teaches them from young to not be greedy and to be contended with what they have. Of course if they have the capability to pursue something, by all means go ahead. But if they do not, then don't force their way through things and become a loser in life in the end. At that time, whatever expectations we have will all go into the drain.
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My suggestion for you is to let go of your expectations. Be ready to even let go of all the spiritual things you have learned, because sometimes even those once helpful ideologies might block you as you advance. You don’t need a full mind of knowledge to know your true self. It is the opposite. To realize yourself, you must have an empty mind.
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Everyone's spiritual path is different and we all respond to different methods of teachings. Therefore I think the article makes a lot of sense.
I am reminded that in my practice, I should set my motivation and on this I think we should have high expectations i.e. to attain Buddhahood for the sake of all sentient beings. Beyond that I agree that we should not project our expectations unto our practice. I wonder if I am correct in going to far as to say that we should not even be aware of our achievements let alone have any expectations of them.
Although I am not an experienced practitioner I do not think the successful journey of spiritual training is landmarked in any particular fashion and therefore if we have expectations of certain "signs" we may lose the purpose and even objective of our training.
It is interesting to see the advice to even "let go of all the spiritual things you have learned". I recall a story which may not fit perfectly into this example but in that story we are told that if Buddhism is a raft used to cross a river, then once we have cross, we should also let go of the raft. Or something to that effect [can someone verify?]...but the idea is very much similar. And very consistent with the idea of letting go.
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My suggestion for you is to let go of your expectations. Be ready to even let go of all the spiritual things you have learned, because sometimes even those once helpful ideologies might block you as you advance. You don’t need a full mind of knowledge to know your true self. It is the opposite. To realize yourself, you must have an empty mind.
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Everyone's spiritual path is different and we all respond to different methods of teachings. Therefore I think the article makes a lot of sense.
I am reminded that in my practice, I should set my motivation and on this I think we should have high expectations i.e. to attain Buddhahood for the sake of all sentient beings. Beyond that I agree that we should not project our expectations unto our practice. I wonder if I am correct in going to far as to say that we should not even be aware of our achievements let alone have any expectations of them.
Although I am not an experienced practitioner I do not think the successful journey of spiritual training is landmarked in any particular fashion and therefore if we have expectations of certain "signs" we may lose the purpose and even objective of our training.
It is interesting to see the advice to even "let go of all the spiritual things you have learned". I recall a story which may not fit perfectly into this example but in that story we are told that if Buddhism is a raft used to cross a river, then once we have cross, we should also let go of the raft. Or something to that effect [can someone verify?]...but the idea is very much similar. And very consistent with the idea of letting go.
What Helena is suggesting in this quote sounds very dangerous to me. How do you know authoritatively what spiritual ideologies are to be discarded? What if our ego takes over and we discard what is difficult but beneficial for us? Hence, I think having Guru devotion on a qualified and authentic Lama would be the guiding factor along with perseverance on the path.
No real spiritual journey is smooth sailing and easy if we are on the right track. If we want to be sure of our spiritual path, we should commit and expect difficulties and obstacles. This is an indicator that we are on the right track. Finding the courage and strength to overcome obstacles is the through the study and contemplation of the Dharma and reassessing what is the priority in life. This is not easy process but it becomes easier and natural with sincere practice.
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Very interesting article indeed! Thanks Helena.
What are Expectations?
Expectations are based on results we think should happen. What we think should happen are based on other people’s experiences, or what we’ve read or learned, or what society says. That is why we must first learn to go with the flow, without any expectation, and unlearn all the ideologies and beliefs we have.
Agree. We are conditioned by our past habituations and present life’s upbringing and exposure to the conditions around us all the time. We simply do not have any wisdom at all. Through correct Buddhist meditations, we learn to let go of our preconceived notions of phenomena around us. Wisdom will arise from meditations. With wisdom we are then able to deal with our expectations.
Letting go of expectation is having an open mind. Without having an open mind, it is hard to accept Dharma and abandon incorrect knowledge about the nature of phenomena.
Letting go of expectation is having a clear mind. When our mind is too busy thinking about the expected results, it cannot relax and becomes tensed. Hence before the meditation proper, practitioners will always settle and calm their minds first e.g. doing breathing meditation. Similarly in all the post-meditation activities, be relaxed, be focused and not to be distracted by results.
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Travelling on the spiritual path is by no means easy or hard and in some cases not everyone has the merit to sustain their practice. How often you see that friends in refuge and pilgrimage journey's many years ago do not continue with their practice for whatever reason?
I was randomly online doing some research and re-read a mandala article..quote from Geshe Tsultim Gyeltsen (from Gaden Shartse) ...last words of advice below to students on Lama Tsongkhapa Day, December 21, 2008 before passing into clear light February 13, 2009.
I love this article for it's inspiration and blessings...a living example of what it means to truly practice on the spiritual path, you can find the full article in the archive of mandala magazine.
“Today is a very good deed, so many people came here. I cannot teach some Sundays. I hope to be back as soon as possible to Sunday teachings.
“Also, we must make our minds in combination with the Dharma. Try to make the Dharma pure, not for this life. Try to dedicate for future life. For self and others to be free from the suffering and to become being buddha.
“Whatever you do, small practice or large practice, it doesn’t matter. Motivation is very important. Try to make what you are doing – chanting, meditation, saying mantras – try to make it to be real Dharma.
“There are some ways of practicing we don’t want. We should try to make our mind in combination with Dharma. Sometimes put on, sometimes take off. That’s not the way to do. Our practice should not be like that. Good day, bad day. Doesn’t matter. We need Dharma all the time. Sometimes people think they have happy time they can do practice, but when they have difficulty they leave Dharma behind. Not so good.
“Sometimes people when they have trouble they can do Dharma, but when they are happy and party and everything, they leave Dharma where? I don’t know.
“Really all the time, to learn.
“End of life more important Dharma, not possessions. How much you have possessions doesn’t matter. When you are leaving from this place, human beings place, everything is behind you. You cannot take anything. Even your body you cannot take with you. So that’s why at that time the most important thing to do is good practice of Dharma. That comes with you. Helps you. Great friend of you. Even we have this lifetime one hundred or one thousand very close friends. They cannot come with us. But if you do good practice of Dharma, that always comes with you, with your consciousness. It helps to us. That is the one thing to think about, please.
“And all other sentient beings are very kind for us. If there are not others we cannot make it. Happy, joy. We cannot get anything. Look at us. We have everything from others. We have body, yes, but somebody else made it. Many people come through for us. So kindness of others is tremendous, really it is. You think about it.
“So that’s why we are wishing for all sentient beings to be free from suffering. Who has suffering, to be free from suffering. To be happy, joy. We should not be jealous. How much they have success we wish more than that, for that to be success. That’s the kind of thinking we do.
“I hope I come back to be teaching Sundays, soon I think. I think so. I hope so.”
Thank you Gen-la :D
xo
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Like Buddha before us, letting go is gaining freedom. Once we let go of trying to control everything, life seems to flow with greater ease. It's not unlike a twig floating down a meandering river. It doesn't try to stop or force the current into an unrealistic upstream reversal of flow. It just lets go and enjoys the ride. Letting it take it where it will.
Life is like that it seems. We try and control the journey with some imagined belief in a power we don't have. There is no power over altering the flow of life. It will take us where it wants, so the only thing left to do is let go and learn to adapt to each bend in the river and enjoy the scenery while it lasts. It's once we let go that we notice a world that we were missing while being so focused on changing how our life is unfolding.
Suddenly we notice a sharpness, beauty and softness to life that we missed before. The trees seem to take on a new sacredness that brings us peace when before we pushed through them on our way to nowhere. It's why the cliche of "stopping to smell the roses" persists. When we stop trying to push toward a specific expectation we start to see that life has more to offer than we had ever realized before.
Expectations are like fairy tales and myths; they are alluring but ultimately leave us disillusioned and disappointed, which are the fore-bearers of suffering. Today, I am letting go and it couldn't be more liberating.