dorjeshugden.com
General Buddhism => General Buddhism => Topic started by: Big Uncle on July 21, 2011, 02:24:23 PM
-
"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going."
This was what my dad used to tell me when I was young. It was his way of inspiring me to work harder and not let situation and circumstances stand in my way. Unfortunately, I didn't really take his advice to heart and I have been a spoilt brat and often chose the easier way out. I found lots of excuses that I tell the world and mostly to myself in order to avoid working hard, facing myself, my short comings and so forth. I am hitting my 40s now and it is all coming back to me. I am no where in my relationship, hardly any real friends, and I am stuck in a job that I don't enjoy. What more can I say?
I am fortunate to be learning the Dharma now and in the last five - six years, it has been a hard time coming to terms with myself and what I have been. I don't really harm others overtly because I don't lie, cheat, or intentionally hurt others but my lackadaisical attitude towards work and people have left deep impressions on people. Again, I am glad to have met the Dharma and see the harsh reality now instead of when I am in my 50s or 60s where it would be too late or too hard to change. There's a lot more to be desired from my so called transformation and the road is tough one but it is well-worth the effort.
Sometimes, it gets so tough, I wanna give up. I wanna just take the easier way out because it is so tempting and alluring. I am fortunate to have people who truly believe in me and care about me. Otherwise, I would have given up. At times, it comes to me every single day but I fight it because of loved ones. Well, what's my message? Never give up on our practice no matter what disappointment we see in ourselves or others. Our practice should be worth more than these petty disappointments.
-
The test of real spirituality is to continue to go on when the going gets tough. Giving up is the easiest way out. It simply means we don't face up to our problems and don't take responsibility.
All of us have things we regret about from the past. There is always things that can be done better, advice that should have been heeded, more effort that should have been put in and that's is all true. But you know what, that is now the past so no point lamenting over it. It will only be demoralizing and a complete waste of time.
If we have realised our past mistakes, acknowledge it and move on and don't waste any more time. Everything is impermanent. Our current circumstances is due to past causes. If we create the right causes now, our results will be different in the future.
-
Everyone has their stories of difficulties, hard times, tough people, didn't like the work, etc etc, however, I believe when we enter the path of dharma and spirituality, the first vow we take to ourselves should be "Never give up".
We really have to treat this as a one way street, there is no U turn back, because if we do that, the whole process is ruined. Entering a spiritual path or taking refuge in a guru is basically to challenge everyday oneself, we dont come to dharma for an easy job, fun time or meet nice people who are going to shoe shine us, entering a spiritual path, to me, it means that I am going to look at myself closer and deeper to get rid of all the negative traits that will bring me down to the three lower realms. It does require a lot of self determination.
Yes, when the thought of giving up strikes the mind, I would tell myself, just let the moment passes by and come back up again.
-
On a daily basis, there are thousands of inner dialogues that go on inside our minds. Sometimes we get more dejected when we really start engaging into that pessimistic conversation within our heads when times are truly challenging and tough. This is where the real danger lie. The inner dialogues inside our minds can kill us off even before anything else can take place.
It all happens inside our heads first and foremost. We play out different scenarios in our heads and then they become actions, and our karma is sealed in that deed.
Hence, our minds can become our scariest prison or our launching pads for our greatness to manifest.
It all begins with the conversations we have with ourselves inside our heads.
If we stop and not engage in it, and take a step back and just observe, we will begin to see how our maras play tricks on us. Some tricks can lead us to do things which we will regret much later and then there is no turning back. Therefore, I always find it helpful for me to step back and stop engaging in any more conversation with the negativities inside my head. None of them are helpful anyways.
At the end of the day, it is the tough and challenging things that we need to go through that will break our barriers and take us into a higher level. After all, if we don't want to break those barriers, they will only gather more strength and become more difficult over time. Nothing stays easy or the same. Everything accumulates. Especially the very things we hate, detest, dislike and want to avoid.
Break them and we are FREE of them forever.
Isn't that what breakthrough is all about? :)
So, do we want to be broken and remain always broken, or break through and continue to break through the different levels?
-
Perhaps that worked intellectually for all of you to step back and internalize things. For me, it was a long hard road of falling and falling and falling. It was a hard fall each time and what I am saying there will come a time when all Buddhist philosophy and reasoning don't work because the fall was so great or repeated so many times that the cumulative impact is just overwhelming.
Its hard to stand up again and at that moment, the philosophy and reasoning don't work anymore because I feel numb and lost. All is ego at work of course. I know that. We all know that but somehow, the only thing anchoring me is the simple fact that there are people whom I felt still cared and would really be hurt if I did give up. I was lucky that was expressed and I held back. It wasn't a grudging sympathy, it was refreshingly genuine.
I am definitely not advance in my practice to be able to step back and internalize my inner demons or overcome my immensely negative mind to make the right choices. I was told I knew a lot of Dharma knowledge but in such moments of crisis, such knowledge is worthless unless I had been putting it into practice but I wouldn't be in such situations if I had. At this juncture, it is painfully obvious I had not and feel powerless to utter any words of sincerity to change things. I even felt resentful I knew so much because it certainly didn't serve me at that moment.
I flinch inside and I say very little in conversations with people who jeer, joke or criticize people who had given up the Dharma. I remember a time I would generously share disgruntled feelings about such people too but not anymore because I had come so close to giving up myself. Someone remarked not too long ago that I am so patient towards this person (that almost everybody else had given up on). I don't think I am patient, I just relate to what they are going through.
-
Thank you Big Uncle for the sincere and real sharing experience. Yes you are lucky to see that there are people who genuinely cares for you and whom you love very much to anchor you down in these crucial moments. The choice may seem simple but if we do not have a real solid reasons, the feeling of worthlessness is easy and escaping in the form of giving up seems like an easier part. Sometimes we trick ourselves by thinking we can start fresh, with a clean slate... but unfortunately not as karma follows us like a shadow.
I have had same thought as you many many times. If I do not have people I love to think about...i would also have probably quite and given up on myself. The only reasons I don't is because of those I love and want to or wish to help. Maybe not right away cos I myself have nothing much to show for... but maybe one day. And all I have is hope... and tht is what keeps me going up until now. So I hope you keep up your spirit and remember those who cares for you (although they did not say it, but because you care for them). Doing Dharma is the best way to repay their kindness.... I try to remind this to myself whenever I come to those crossroads.
-
When I see people who always want to give up, feel sorry for themselves, want tons of sympathy time after time, don't achieve what they promise and still want more sympathy, I want to give up on them. They drain you of your hopes, emotions, feelings and trust towards them. They turn it around and say they had it tough and want to give up, but the truth is they don't know what tough really is. Tough is when you do nothing about your situation.
People who want to give up so easy manifest pure selfishness much more than others. All of us are selfish and the name of the game is to lessen the selfishness. Why indulge, glamourize, talk about it all the time? Why celebrate the failures? Instead of wasting time talking, groping for sympathies, explaining why you failed, sharing eloquently why you couldn't do it-instead JUST DO IT.
It would be worth more your's and everyone else's time to share why you made it and why you succeeded. And how you did it. I'm not judging here but just we need to wake ourselves up. We can't parasite off of others forever and expect no repercussions. I had my downs many times, what can anyone do for you anyways? You just gotta get up and say I am going to do it so no one else suffers because of me. Compassion in action.
People who wish to give up make others want to give up on them. After all, how come you can give up and others cannot?
As a Buddhist, I am not saying let them suffer and forget about them, but sometimes not giving more attention to their poor me novels and pity parties is the best way to show compassion towards them. After all, if they do something about themselves, old and new friends will all join in again to celebrate their successes. I would.
The only real crossroad in life is to choose me or all sentient beings. If you choose yourself, get ready for another 100,000 pity parties to come in this life alone. Better stock up on party favours now. But if you choose others, then you will go the right way. Every book that is considered really sacred directs us towards others. When we choose others we find strength, acceptance, love, growth, energy, creativity, eventually happiness and we find who we really are. Great bliss. Choosing ourselves has been our downfall from beginningless time. Why choose something PROVEN TO FAIL?
Feeling like giving up is the path back to darkness or remaining in darkness. Choosing to give up is the biggest challenge that we can present ourselves while we have the chance because it shows who we are and who we choose to be. Remember, it's a choice. Be responsible with our choices because only we experience the results. External forces are created by the internal in one way or another. Wanting to give up and worse even several times a day shows how we are still hoping someone to rescue us without any effort from our own. Sad for the people who believe in you. That will never happen. In the 'real' world, YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN YOURSELF. Just do it. Don't think and examine anymore. From how many angles more and how many thousands of more times do we examine our laziness? We are lazy and selfish, it's confirmed, so just do it!
I find it funny people want to take the easy way out. What easy way out? To where? Where would it be easy? They don't leave is because where they are now is easy and they know it. It's like when you change environments, suddenly you leave your old habits in the old place too? Doesn't make sense. What makes sense is honour, integrity, hard work, effort, self worth from results. These are timeless and no one can take it away from you or anyone. If you want them, guess what you gotta do? Work! Do it right from where you are now.
-
When I see people who always want to give up, feel sorry for themselves, want tons of sympathy time after time, don't achieve what they promise and still want more sympathy, I want to give up on them. They drain you of your hopes, emotions, feelings and trust towards them. They turn it around and say they had it tough and want to give up, but the truth is they don't know what tough really is. Tough is when you do nothing about your situation.
People who want to give up so easy manifest pure selfishness much more than others. All of us are selfish and the name of the game is to lessen the selfishness. Why indulge, glamourize, talk about it all the time? Why celebrate the failures? Instead of wasting time talking, groping for sympathies, explaining why you failed, sharing eloquently why you couldn't do it-instead JUST DO IT.
It would be worth more your's and everyone else's time to share why you made it and why you succeeded. And how you did it. I'm not judging here but just we need to wake ourselves up. We can't parasite off of others forever and expect no repercussions. I had my downs many times, what can anyone do for you anyways? You just gotta get up and say I am going to do it so no one else suffers because of me. Compassion in action.
People who wish to give up make others want to give up on them. After all, how come you can give up and others cannot?
As a Buddhist, I am not saying let them suffer and forget about them, but sometimes not giving more attention to their poor me novels and pity parties is the best way to show compassion towards them. After all, if they do something about themselves, old and new friends will all join in again to celebrate their successes. I would.
The only real crossroad in life is to choose me or all sentient beings. If you choose yourself, get ready for another 100,000 pity parties to come in this life alone. Better stock up on party favours now. But if you choose others, then you will go the right way. Every book that is considered really sacred directs us towards others. When we choose others we find strength, acceptance, love, growth, energy, creativity, eventually happiness and we find who we really are. Great bliss. Choosing ourselves has been our downfall from beginningless time. Why choose something PROVEN TO FAIL?
Feeling like giving up is the path back to darkness or remaining in darkness. Choosing to give up is the biggest challenge that we can present ourselves while we have the chance because it shows who we are and who we choose to be. Remember, it's a choice. Be responsible with our choices because only we experience the results. External forces are created by the internal in one way or another. Wanting to give up and worse even several times a day shows how we are still hoping someone to rescue us without any effort from our own. Sad for the people who believe in you. That will never happen. In the 'real' world, YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN YOURSELF. Just do it. Don't think and examine anymore. From how many angles more and how many thousands of more times do we examine our laziness? We are lazy and selfish, it's confirmed, so just do it!
I find it funny people want to take the easy way out. What easy way out? To where? Where would it be easy? They don't leave is because where they are now is easy and they know it. It's like when you change environments, suddenly you leave your old habits in the old place too? Doesn't make sense. What makes sense is honour, integrity, hard work, effort, self worth from results. These are timeless and no one can take it away from you or anyone. If you want them, guess what you gotta do? Work! Do it right from where you are now.
This sounds a little bit selfish to me...
-
When I see people who always want to give up, feel sorry for themselves, want tons of sympathy time after time, don't achieve what they promise and still want more sympathy, I want to give up on them. They drain you of your hopes, emotions, feelings and trust towards them.
They are suffering big time.
They don't need help after they are enlightened...
-
When I see people who always want to give up, feel sorry for themselves, want tons of sympathy time after time, don't achieve what they promise and still want more sympathy, I want to give up on them. They drain you of your hopes, emotions, feelings and trust towards them.
Remembering how they nurtured us, life after life...
Seeing how they are helping us right now...
-
When I see people who always want to give up, feel sorry for themselves, want tons of sympathy time after time, don't achieve what they promise and still want more sympathy, I want to give up on them. They drain you of your hopes, emotions, feelings and trust towards them. They turn it around and say they had it tough and want to give up, but the truth is they don't know what tough really is. Tough is when you do nothing about your situation.
The truth is they do know what tough really is.
Each time we were suffering big time they helped us.
When we needed their help, they extended it.
And now, that they need us we tell them "just do it" ?
-
People who want to give up so easy manifest pure selfishness much more than others. All of us are selfish and the name of the game is to lessen the selfishness. Why indulge, glamourize, talk about it all the time? Why celebrate the failures? Instead of wasting time talking, groping for sympathies, explaining why you failed, sharing eloquently why you couldn't do it-instead JUST DO IT.
No, people don't want to give up so easy: they are slaves of their delusions and bad karma.
They are suffering so much and hoping to find help from fellow beings.
Getting rid of delusions and bad karma is a very tough job: for most of us it takes aeons to attain liberation.
-
It would be worth more your's and everyone else's time to share why you made it and why you succeeded. And how you did it.
No, nothing is more worthy anyone's time than to hear from our fellow mother sentient beings when they are suffering: they need
us and we need them to succeed. So, waiting until they made it to hear from them is not an option...
-
heartspoon, you know you can just reply to one post and break it down by putting the [ / quote ] (without the spaces) then your comment then [ quote ]
so that you can insert your comments throughout someone's post rather than making multiple posts? it's a bit confusing to read for me.
Anyway, what thaimonk posted makes perfect sense to me. i don't think it's selfish at all. What thaimonk said was that if we think we want to quit, it is being selfish and i agree with that. We want to quit because we don't want to change the way we do things anymore. We want to quit because working to improve ourselves and getting out of our comfortable habits is just too much hard work. But as thaimonk says, where do we think we can quit to? Out of the pan and into the fire, literally.
Thaimonk's advice is very practical. Instead of talking and meditating about what wasn't working, we should just get on with it.
Agreed that we are all stuck in samsara because of our delusions and negative karma, but now that we know that they are delusions and negative karma and we know what we should do to get rid of it, we have to just get on and do it. If we stumble and fall, we just get up and dust ourselves off and continue. of course it's not easy to break aeons of nasty habits (and boy do i have a LOT) but i really don't see what the viable alternatives are. My health isn't great and i don't know how many years I have left to clear my crap... so let's get shovelling...
-
People pay quite a lot of money and take out time to go for bootcamps, myself included where you get your @#$ kicked. It would not worth a dime if the instructors let us wallow and complaint how tired we are and then let us be without pushing us. I have gone through much atheletic training and my coaches were never easy on me.. i can only imagine how hard the international top athletes push themselves to get to where they are.
I cant help but relate my experience to what thaimonk has shared. How much more we ought to not give ourselves reasons to fail when it comes to our practice. It's about setting out minds firmly on our goal, then obstacles will look smaller and smaller as we get stronger. I have read biographies of lamas who are strict with their students... and it is because of their great love and care for their students.
I may be wrong, but thaimonk you must have seen alot and gone through alot as your sharing and advice is deep and provoking in a good way. much appreciation always...
-
When I see people who always want to give up, feel sorry for themselves, want tons of sympathy time after time, don't achieve what they promise and still want more sympathy, I want to give up on them. They drain you of your hopes, emotions, feelings and trust towards them. They turn it around and say they had it tough and want to give up, but the truth is they don't know what tough really is. Tough is when you do nothing about your situation.
People who want to give up so easy manifest pure selfishness much more than others. All of us are selfish and the name of the game is to lessen the selfishness. Why indulge, glamourize, talk about it all the time? Why celebrate the failures? Instead of wasting time talking, groping for sympathies, explaining why you failed, sharing eloquently why you couldn't do it-instead JUST DO IT.
It would be worth more your's and everyone else's time to share why you made it and why you succeeded. And how you did it. I'm not judging here but just we need to wake ourselves up. We can't parasite off of others forever and expect no repercussions. I had my downs many times, what can anyone do for you anyways? You just gotta get up and say I am going to do it so no one else suffers because of me. Compassion in action.
People who wish to give up make others want to give up on them. After all, how come you can give up and others cannot?
As a Buddhist, I am not saying let them suffer and forget about them, but sometimes not giving more attention to their poor me novels and pity parties is the best way to show compassion towards them. After all, if they do something about themselves, old and new friends will all join in again to celebrate their successes. I would.
The only real crossroad in life is to choose me or all sentient beings. If you choose yourself, get ready for another 100,000 pity parties to come in this life alone. Better stock up on party favours now. But if you choose others, then you will go the right way. Every book that is considered really sacred directs us towards others. When we choose others we find strength, acceptance, love, growth, energy, creativity, eventually happiness and we find who we really are. Great bliss. Choosing ourselves has been our downfall from beginningless time. Why choose something PROVEN TO FAIL?
Feeling like giving up is the path back to darkness or remaining in darkness. Choosing to give up is the biggest challenge that we can present ourselves while we have the chance because it shows who we are and who we choose to be. Remember, it's a choice. Be responsible with our choices because only we experience the results. External forces are created by the internal in one way or another. Wanting to give up and worse even several times a day shows how we are still hoping someone to rescue us without any effort from our own. Sad for the people who believe in you. That will never happen. In the 'real' world, YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN YOURSELF. Just do it. Don't think and examine anymore. From how many angles more and how many thousands of more times do we examine our laziness? We are lazy and selfish, it's confirmed, so just do it!
I find it funny people want to take the easy way out. What easy way out? To where? Where would it be easy? They don't leave is because where they are now is easy and they know it. It's like when you change environments, suddenly you leave your old habits in the old place too? Doesn't make sense. What makes sense is honour, integrity, hard work, effort, self worth from results. These are timeless and no one can take it away from you or anyone. If you want them, guess what you gotta do? Work! Do it right from where you are now.
I like very much what is written here. If they person wants to give up and it's rare they have these moods, then speak to them and help them. Give them what support they need. If it is chronic and constant, and it becomes just an excuse, then I agree that we just need to let them sort it through. Letting them sort it through doesn't mean abandon them, but let them find the strength/wisdom within themselves that they didn't know they had. Compassion and care come in many forms.
TK
-
I agree with DS Friend. I, too, had spent a lot of time and not to mention, $$$ on motivational talks and conferences. But I found that they do not really help me in the ultimate sense. To me, these bootcamps are "cosmetic superficial solutions". They do not provide the real life long solutions. They are just a "feel good" experience. Again, this is purely from my own encounters.
A long lasting solution is of course, working on ourselves and we cannot do that if we refuse to face the ugly truth about ourselves. We do like to wallow in self pity. We do like to make excuses for things we cannot achieve and even justify why we do not like to do them.
Compassion and wisdom can come in many forms. At the end of the day, nothing matters when we do not even bother doing anything about it ourselves. No strength and wisdom can ever help us, if we don't help ourselves.
How would we ever know our own strength, when we are not the ones picking up ourselves when we fall?
How would we ever know our own wisdom, when we can't even counsel ourselves to do what's most beneficial for us? Especially when we have spent most of our lives, counseling ourselves to weasel our way out of our responsibilities and duties? There's no higher responsibility and duty than being accountable for our own actions, taking control of our lives.
How would we ever know compassion when we are not even compassionate to others, especially to those whom we have bled dry of their patience, hopes and kindness because we have always been letting them down?
It's always easy to expect people to continue giving, supporting and helping us. When do we stop expecting others to do it and we do it for ourselves and for others?
At the end of the day, if we can't even be there for ourselves to do what's best for us, we will never know how to do the same for others. Hence, perhaps this is why we will stay entrapped in 'selfishness and fear' and still label it justifiable exhaustion to the point of giving up.
-
Recently I heard a very good quote or saying by J.K Rowling... it was about failure. I cannot remember where I read or heard it but basically she said something that really struck me and was like a light bulb turning on... She mentioned that Failure was a powerful force for her to actually achieve and be who she is today.
She did not GIVE UP was the key and her experience of Failure which became a powerful force for her to push herself to achieve her dreams. Failure actually pushes you to edge until you learn to fly is what I understand. So Failing is not the end of the road.
So JUST DO IT... like what Thaimonk said is similar and no matter no matter how many times you fall/failed, we must pick ourselves up cos no one can. What it is we do, or wherever we go, the principals to achieving anything is still the same. NEVER GIVE UP & JUST DO IT!
-
Once we perceive the small space of our habituated mind, we begin to long for the open vastness we have glimpsed in the eyes of the Lama. We begin to understand that in "giving up" the dubious freedom of following our dualistic rationale, we are in fact losing nothing and gaining the possibility of everything.
From page 20 of "DANGEROUS FRIEND": THE TEACHER- STUDENT RELATIONSHIP IN VAJRAYANA BUDDHISM by RIG'DZIN DORJE
One of my favourite books which I always read, re-read time and time again.
-
Sometimes FEAR of not fulfilled and people around me make me want to give up.
Sometimes Laziness and problems arise make up want to give up.
Like BIG UNCLE shared,
"Our practice should be worth more than these petty disappointments."
Just continue the precious journey and NEVER GIVE UP!
-
Sometimes FEAR of not fulfilled and people around me make me want to give up.
Sometimes Laziness and problems arise make up want to give up.
Like BIG UNCLE shared,
"Our practice should be worth more than these petty disappointments."
Just continue the precious journey and NEVER GIVE UP!
When we say people around me make me want to give up, we are putting the blame on others for our wanting to give up. It may be true that some people around us sometimes can demotivate us but there will always be people around us whose presence will motivate or demotivate us and this applies to everyone. Like everything else, how we respond is our choice.
Instead of letting any negatives around us whether animate or inanimate drag us down, we should instead use it as an impetus to rise above it because we know that's not where we want to. If we give up, we lose and the negativities win. So what it is going to be is up to us.
-
Giving up is only a choice and only you can mend what's ahead. It's just a phase, or metaphorically speaking, a barrier in our own mind. It just shows how vulnerable we all are for allowing this barrier from stopping us from what we really want to achieve. Our mind is the most powerful thing we have, wake up and use it! Once you've reached the other side of your own barrier, you're setting yourself to a whole new level of challenge that little did you know you can achieve or could even standardize in. People who give up are weak, they are people who were raised having things handed to them like a baby having spoon-fed by a mother. Just like that. They grow up to be brats, yes, but it is only up to you to make the change. Things only happen when you allow them to.
-
Sometimes I think about the dharma friends who have given up and left and wonder what they are feeling. Are they happier or do they regret and wish to come back? When I was new in dharma, they were the ones who encouraged me, taught me mantras and explained things to me. How come they are gone now and I'm still practising? I had hopes in them and supported some of them financially so they could continue to help others. I feel disappointed but I have not lost faith in the teacher and the teachings. Maybe that's why I'm still in the dharma.
Those who leave do so not because of the teacher but because they cannot get along with some dharma brothers and sisters. This is due to their inability to transform and be less selfish. If they have already left, we can't do much to help them unless they express the wish to come back. But we can help those who feel like giving up.
How can we help those who feel like giving up? I think we can help by learning the dharma well, transforming ourselves and be a good example to others. We can help by not giving up ourselves.
-
Last time, I would've have given up in many things in life and just walk away. As they say, the grass is greener on the other side! Especially with the laziness and habituations ways that I was brought up. I don't really give a damn! (excuse my language). Fun was my best friend!
Now, I will NOT give up Dharma in any way! No matter how my family, friends and financial difficulties push me away, I will never give up the LOGICAL teachings and practices so sacred. There will always be difficulties and obstacles along the way but then I know it's because of the negative Karma I brought onto myself.
For those who feel like giving up... Take a step back... Take a deep breath... Think logically... Contemplate...
DHARMA is not wrong... It's our selfishness and laziness that made us deluded! We were already WRONG before we met Dharma! So how can Dharma be bad for you ???
-
Thank you thai monk for a thoughful post.
i agree that giving up is an easy way out as we don't want to face the problem and solve it so the easy way is avoid it and giving up on it. People who always give up will never achieve or success in anything in life as they do not put effort to solve problem and they totally forget that whatever they go or they do there are problem and they not face up and solve it eventually they have to give up with everything.
-
When everything you do does not go right, you feel you just want to throw in the towel, call it a day. Because it is easier to give up then to continue to try to settle the matter. When this happens, we are just running away from it, not wanting to face the problem. It does not get solved and still remains a problem. We must put more effort into finding a solution, try different means, think out of the box; for if we have been very insistent on one single method and it has not been fruitful, we must seek advice and help from others to try various ways and means to solve the matter.
-
It is so easy to give up when things gets tough. But when things are rosy, happy, good we all accept it with an open arm don't we? Why is that we have double standards when it comes to circumstances? When good its all good we embrace it without s thought. When bad circumstances we always want to push it to others and blame others and most of the time out of convenience, just give up snd walk away. Sound familiar?
Yes I've been like this like a roller coaster until I met the Dharma. I'm still roller coaster but I'm learning and observing from the Dharma centre on how to overcome my weakness. I observe the people in the Dharma centre and also got a lot of teachings from my guru. I noticed people who never gave up no matter how bad the situation is they just accept and do it without complaining. These people grow. These people succeed, they become nicer, more pleasant and I see people who ran, gave up, blame and complained all the time. These type of people never grow, always is someone's fault and never succeed in anything they do.
My opinion is when things get tough, we should not panic and go into blame and ran away mode. Instead we should calm down, put our pride down, think about the situation and find a solution. That way even though we fail, at least we tried and we can learn from that exerience and improve. Practice makes perfect. We run, we will run for the rest of our lives and we can only run so far and eventually our life catches up on us and there is no where to run anymore and it will be too late.
-
When we face difficulties its norm to look for easy way out because it’s the fastest solution to run away from dealing with it. Not that we cannot deal with it’s just our laziness and selfishness. We keep on running and running until one moment when we can’t hide anymore we will be hit by a biggest one and we flat off. Actually it’s not that bad but just that we have not train ourself to face it.
Being a single to give up every time, we go nowhere and our live will just be very exhausted because we keep on running frm problem and will never be happy.
Being a parent, it’s definitely not a good example but the worst is how to support the family by giving up? The family members will be the victim of this act and again the family will just break off.
This shows how important Dharma is to individual and family because it teaches us to face the problem which is not given by others but it’s us the created it. Live never been easy because we are in Samsara but if we don’t learn up to face it we will always be unhappy and never move on. Dharma makes us reflect on ourselves and improve on our short fall move forward. The best in our live is to live with Dharma and always continue with our practices consistently.
-
I realize that when a person wanted to give up on something, and they can easily give up, it is because they have very least responsibility, that’s why even after they gave up on something, it does not affect them much, and slowly, they will built up a habit of giving up with just a small problem they encountering.
When someone has heavy responsibility / commitment, they will not say give up easily, you would hardly or never hear a word of it came out from them. Because when they give up, they will not have the time / chance to start over again.
So whether that person is sincere or not, you will clearly see it because when they mentioned a word of giving up, it shows how much they committed to it.
-
A true test of faith is when there are many obstacles and you believe there is no way to go already. Push forward! Don't run! Dorje Shugden practitioners have been driven away from the monasteries and do they give up? No! If they do not give up, even though they have been deprived from their resources as there are still some people who do not mix with Dorje Shugden practitioners because of the ban. Not giving up may be hard but the fruit obtained is better. You become a stronger and better person!
-
Big Uncle,
Thank you for sharing, I totally relate to what you say and the biggest regret in my life is that I met dharma late! I met dharma in my early 40s n I have made commitments which I have to fulfill for the rest of my life. I wouldnt have made these commitments had I met dharma earlier! Well, this is my karma and I have to bear with it and make the best out of the rest of my life.
All I can say is, I am extremely lucky to have met dharma in my life (despite a bit) but I will treasure the opportunity to enjoy the glory of dharma and spend the rest of my life helping others.
Hopefully I will be able to do the same in my future lives until I have purify all the negative karma that I have accumulated..
-
Giving up is so easy - just walk away. But do we ever stop to think for a moment that by doing so, the mess that we created is still there, no solution has been found. Do we just leave it to others to solve for us? Do we just wash our hands and so be it?
If we give up as such, then we are just being irresponsible and selfish to a point, if I may say so. We should really try different ways to find a solution.
Like Sonam Dhargey said : ... even though we fail, at least we tried and we can learn from that experience and improve.
The essence here is that we "TRY".
-
In a life without understanding of the dharma, "giving up" in an always present option. It's an easy way out which is widely practiced and accepted. We give up on friends when its too hard to keep the friendship, we give up learning things when it gets too hard and the learning becomes inconvenient, we give up on our deepest dreams after the smallest obstacle surfaces and ultimately by habit we give up our own potential.
If there is one thing we have practiced all our lives, it is to give up. Unfortunately, often dharma is not spared. Dharma is not hard but it feels difficult because it makes us confront all that is stopping us from real happiness. Dharma makes us see what is wrong with our lives and how wrong our perceptions have been about so many things. Dharma wants us to change what we have held to be the truth and let go of what we have held on so tightly.
If I am still in the Dharma it is only by the supreme kindness and the great skills of my Guru who have upheld me in courage, faith, strength and understanding, even as he has pushed me to break through all that has held me back. Without my Guru, and the love of the Dharma that he has planted so deeply into me, I would have given up.
Of all the things we may give up, dharma is one that we should never let go. When we let go of dharma we let go of the pursuit of truth, we let go of the opportunity to live a noble life, we let go of purpose in our life...and ultimately we let go of true understanding of life and what constitutes happiness.
-
Giving up is an easy way out for people who want fast result or doesn't want to solve the problem.
We can give up in something but that doesn't mean that we can run away from it, instead it lead us to give up more on other thing after that as it become our habitual to just want easy way out and doesn't want to solve problem.
How many time we can run away and after that the same situation happen again and again as the root cause of problem still there. Instead of giving up we should put up more effort, patience, passion, love and care etc in doing it
If we giving up in secular things easily then we will carry the same habitual to spiritual path and this will be the main cause for us to not improve in the practice...
-
Big Uncle. Like you there are times that the thought of giving up has crossed my mind. It results from being unhappy at certain situations, being tired physically and mentally and missing time for myself. This applies both for worldly and dharma practice. But then, the thought, where do we run to comes to my mind. Without sounding too negatives; it is like "between the devil and the deep blue sea".
Then something click in my mind. We just need to change our perspectives and suddenly everything becomes rosy again. All the "giving up" is from from our self-cherishing mind. We grasp at ourselves and anything that doesn't "suit" us causes unhappiness. With this type of mind, we will be unhappy anywhere we go, doing anything and we will have any positive results.
So why not, if we can't intellectualize about it; "just do it'. Continue with what we do and put in the best effort. From experience, I have confirmation that this is the best strategy. No doubt until, such time that we are able to experience the "great bliss" as thai monk described, I find this the best way forward. At least we do not garner more unhappiness by giving up. Meanwhile we have some successes and some bliss. That tells me I am on the right path.
-
Find this very interesting.
When the Bodhisattva walks the Bodhisattva Path, he does what is very difficult. From an ordinary point of view, a Bodhisattva practicing the Bodhisattva Path appears quite foolish. If he were not, then why would he choose to undergo suffering himself in order to come and teach and transform living beings? But no matter what kind of suffering there is, he can endure it. He undergoes intense suffering even to the point of enduring the suffering due other living beings. If the Bodhisattva weren’t foolish, then why would he take such a big personal loss? He doesn’t benefit himself in anything he does. But that isn’t because he is foolish. A Bodhisattva has great wisdom. Because he has great wisdom, he wants to take across all living beings and cause all of them to have wisdom too. He wants to forsake himself for the sake of the multitudes. He forsakes his own small self in order to bring living beings’ great selves to realization. When you walk the Path of the Bodhisattva, you benefit yourself and you benefit others. In doing this you shouldn’t fear any kind of suffering...Moreover, the Bodhisattva thinks that:
To endure suffering is to end suffering.
To enjoy blessings is to exhaust blessings.
Because he thinks in that way, he undergoes suffering on behalf of living beings. He transfers all of his bliss to all living beings in the Dharma Realm. The merit from this kind of open and unselfish action is inexhaustible. It is completely public spirited, and it is intended for the benefit of all living beings.
So why do we have the urge of giving up so easily?